Does this sound fair to you? Answer seriously please.?

Question

There are three kids in my family ... me, my brother who is engaged and my sister who is married.

When talking about getting a Christmas gift for my parents; my siblings think it is fair to split the gift three ways since they are both couples so apparently each couple counts as one person. They don't see that their thirds of the gift are actually split between two incomes and my third of the gift is only coming from ONE income so technically I am paying more money.

I know it sounds stupid and I'll pay one third either way but they are so pig headed that they don't even see where I'm coming from. I just need one person to tell me they know exactly where I am coming from.

They want me to pay $60 for a gift out of my ONE salary when they are paying $60 out of TWO salaries. There has to be something wrong with this picture.

Answer 1

I understand where you are coming from but don't forget to take into account that in actual fact your siblings are paying for two presents - one for your parents, and one for their partners' parents - so ultimately they will be paying $60 each too, or a combined $120 per couple.

It may seem a bit rich to you right now but when you have a partner it will all make sense - and just wait until their are kids involved too!

Take a deep breath and maybe next time suggest you either don't buy a combined present or that the present is cheaper - no-one can argue with that surely??!

Good luck.

Answer 2

By the numbers, you are correct. However, dividing among siblings would put you at a third of the cost. If it makes you feel better, while your siblings are paying for another set of parents (the spouse's or fiance's), you are not. This means you are paying the same in the long run.

If you are having issues about the division, my suggestion would to not buy a joint gift. Buy your own gift for your mom and spend what you can afford.

this 'feeling' you have is common .......take the example of a couple with no kids having to buy for a couple with 3 kids. That's three extra gifts that are not reciprocated.

Instead of holding a grudge about the lopsidedness, just find a way to give gifts that makes you happy.

Answer 3

Oh yes! I have 2 sisters, they are married. I am not. We did that 1 yrs for Christmas and its not fair. After that I said I wouldnt do it again. I cant. Idont have near the income that they both make with their husbands. The only thingyou can do is what I did. Get your own gift. It may not be as expensive but it will be just as nice. As long as you get them a gift that comes from the heart. You know , last Christmas I got my mom an 11x13 picture of her new puppy and I made her a blanket. I know without a doubt that it was much better than a new 300.00 piece of jewlery. Explain to your sisters that you dont have the money to do this with them. If they cant understand that, then thats their problem .

Answer 4

Hey, Boy have I been there, in three different positions. First, when my husband and I were first married, we only had one income but we were offered to pay less because the others realized we couldn't really afford it. Second, still only one income but the other kids knew we could afford it, so we were not asked to pay less and Third we agreed to let the younger couple pay less as they had just married and really couldn't afford it.
I do understand where your coming from and I think you would have felt better if they would have at least asked if you could afford it right now. I think maybe after you mentioned it to them, they either #1They new you could afford it and just resented you even mentioned it or #2 They were just embarrassed that they didn't think of it and couldn't admit you were right. Boy! Bottom Line, if you know that they knew that you could afford it easily, if it were me I just would have paid the third amount and not said anything. Yeah, I would have been hurt a little, that they didn't think to ask me to pay less but hey, I try to over look the small things cause there are too many big things. Lots of Luck!

P.S. You guys just always stay close, that's important!

Answer 5

I see nothing unfair about it. They may have two salaries, but they also most likely have two sets of parents to buy gifts for. Pay up.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

I see where you are coming from. Get a separate gift for your parents on your own and don't worry about it.

Answer 8

I know how ur feeling... plus I have one kid and they have three, so figure that... I'm a single parent, l don't have the money to spoil everyone... not to mention that this was said..."oh, that's so small is that suppose to be a stocking stuffer." Uh, yeah, next year I'm gonna stuff it right up their ***! Spend less, they'll get the picture.

Answer 9

yea their not being very understanding i think they should have split the price by 5 180/5 which would be like 36 4 each person

Answer 10

Whatever the cost just tell them it would only be fair to split the cost 5 times ...
so if it cost $100. you would each pay 20