So, there is the completely wonderful guy I've known for a year or so....the catch is...he has a girlfriend who he's been with what seems like forever. It seems like he's just with her because he feels sorry for her. I mean, they close to never talk. I'm so in love with him, I've never felt this way about someone. I feel like it's the right thing, but people tell me to just stop. It's like you can just stop numb yourself or stop loving someone. I don't know what to do anymore. Help?
2007-10-24 16:48:37 · 31 answers · asked by cfg-osu1@sbcglobal.net 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't know if he likes me. And to whoever said I was having sex with him, no I'm not, I'm waiting until I'm married. His girlfriend is seemingly nice but she has NO personality, it's strange to see them together because he's so full of life and she's....bland and boring.
2007-10-24 17:01:19 · update #1
I don't think your wrong for feeling your feelings. like you said it's not like you can just stop, it's not like there is an off switch for this kind of thing. I would say that you should be a friend to him. I'm a strong believer that if it's meant to be it will be. just stay open to other oportunities that you might come across. enjoy your life and you never know things may just happen between you too. good luck with everything!
2007-10-24 16:56:01 · answer #1 · answered by cdg 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I've been in a situation just like yourself. I fell in love with a guy knowing he had someone already. I was hoping he would break up with her so that we could be together. I just realized I was wasting my time.
The best thing for you to do is simply let go. It's not easy, but you will have to. You say they close to never talk, but they're still together. If you keep waiting for him to break up with her, you will be waiting forever. By then you could have found someone who is just as wonderful as you say this guy is.
You might think he's wonderful now, but suppose you were to get into a relationship with him? He mightn't be this wonderful person you expect him to be. They always seem nice at first, but after a while they show their true colors.
Trust me, take it from me, I know what I'm talking about. If I didn't know, I wouldn't have told you. All the best to you! I hope you do find your knight in shining armor.
.
2007-10-24 19:19:02 · answer #2 · answered by Tacey H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you can't just stop having feelings for a person. But you can control your actions. He has a girlfriend. You have no right to be any more than a casual friend. If his relationship with the other girl is bad...it is up to him to either make it better or cut the cord. You do not want to be the one to force that decision. It is not your place nor your right to do that. It isn't even your right to tell him how you feel as long as he is with someone else.
If the two of you are meant to be together then it will happen in time...and you'll just have to wait for the proper place and time. If you push you could push him in the wrong direction. Always remember what goes around comes around. Treat him as you would expect people to treat someone that you were involved with.....don't do anything that you will regret in a few years.
2007-10-24 16:56:46 · answer #3 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's not wrong to love someone- it's not wrong to love period so don't feel guilty. But be practical - don't get hurt. The cool thing about life is you will love again and you WILL fall in love again - maybe even more than this time. I feel from my life experiences if it is meant to happen it will. Keep your relationship with him close and if he breaks up with her you can be there for him as a friend to lend a shoulder. Maybe down the line it will happen, but don't just focus on that - look all around you because while you are looking at this guy another love may be walking past you. Good luck!
2007-10-24 16:54:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say to you RUN don't walk away from him as fast as you can. I know you have feeling and you just can't shut those off. But you are hurting yourself. You are the other woman..Wouldn't you rather be THE WOMAN in some guy's life. There is alot of Wonderful men out there, why stick on one that is with another gal. If you can't RUN or walk away, I would say just be his friend. Maybe he will see that you have alot to offer him. Beside you need to be a friend before you become a lover, then it will work and last. Just be good to your heart.
2007-10-25 08:28:43 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ LÄYDBÜG ♥ {_}?™ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are wrong, and NO, a man doesn't stay with someone because he feels sorry for her---especially without a contract. What you see with your eyes is influenced by your desire. What you don't see is the love and trust that has most likely enabled them to stay together even when there are other dogs sniffing around.
Sorry to be so blunt, but that is pretty much how it normally goes in situations like these.
2007-10-24 16:53:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It may seem like he is just with her because he feels sorry for her or that they never talk but that may just be your mind trying to justify your feelings for him.......he is with her for his own reasons and obviously he cares for her......does he know how you feel about him? If he is not making a move then you should take it for what it is and try to move on. You will find someone that is un-attached and will care for you and you only....eventually your feelings for him will subside..it is best if it's not meant to be.
2007-10-24 16:57:28 · answer #7 · answered by only1sol2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel so strongly for him? I hope you haven't started having sex with him. If so, there's no way you can have a successful relationship with someone who has already cheated on his girlfriend. You should probably step off before you get your feelings hurt.
2007-10-24 16:54:26 · answer #8 · answered by bizzi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well ure soo not wrong about loving him because u are deeply in love with someone that has a girlfriend.But i dnt think that ,that guy is with her because he feels sorry for her if he felt sorry for her he wouldnt be with her that loong my advice too u is tell him how u feel and if he doesnt agree with u that he feels the same way avoid him for a bit and u will see that ure feelings for him will change into a friendship kinda way well good luck !! :D
2007-10-24 16:54:12 · answer #9 · answered by adilene M 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
We can't help who we fall in love with. Don't let people tell you what you should feel. Ever. Love with all you've got. And whatever is meant to be will find its way. Just wait. Luck
2007-10-24 16:52:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋