OK here it goes the father of my baby is talking about signing over his rights and the guy i am with now wants to be in the room when i have the baby. The bio-father called me the other day and he is going to be back from iraq when i have the baby and wants to be in the room but he keeps telling me that is not going to change anything he is going to sign the rights over to my soon to be husband in about 2 weeks. the baby is due in 6 weeks. If he is going to sign the rights over then why does he want to be in the room with me. He has a wife and she is not happy about this. I think she is more mad because i am having a girl and she has two boys by him and she knows he always wanted a girl. Anyways my soon to be husband is going to be in there for sure. What about the bio-father what do u think i should do??
2007-10-24 16:34:30 · 28 answers · asked by More then one on this account 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You have not shown yourself to be a very mature and deserving parent.....<< how is someone going to tell me how good of a parent i am?? Anyways I was jsut asking if i should let him or not i am not here for u to judge me on how good of a parent i am!! He was the one telling me to get a abortion. WTF
2007-10-24 18:07:27 · update #1
And to add i was with this guy for 8 months and he never once told me he was married He lives here where i do and his wife lives in her home town cali. I didnt know he was married until his wife called me and i was 3 months pregnant. Why does women always think it the the females fault if a man cheats on his wife AHHHH get a freakin life woman!!!
2007-10-24 18:10:51 · update #2
Your situation is a little different from what mine was, but I didn't let my first childs father even know when I went to the hospital. We were married, but I had left him because he was abusive, and he had very little contact with me during the pregnancy. In fact, by the time I actually went to the hospital he hadn't contacted me in about 4 months. Nor had he tried to help out financially. So when I went to the hospital, I saw no reason to contact him. I certainly wouldn't have let him be in the room with me during the delivery. The person who is with you during delivery should be someone who has supported you throughout the pregnancy. If this guy hasn't supported you (And I mean emotional support more so than financial) then why does he deserve to be in the room? If the guy you are with now has been the one to support you and plans to take over being this childs father, then he is the one who deserves to be apart of this special time, not the guy who doesn't even want the kid.
So personally, no I don't think you should allow him to be there.
2007-10-25 04:18:02 · answer #1 · answered by Pink Cowgirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOw! Sweetie.. Way to much for you to be worried about this late in your pregnancy.
However,,, If he is sighing the baby over. Then NO... I would not allow him anywhere near the delivery.
Obviously from him considering being there he is not sure about how he feels about giving this child up.
If I were you I would have all the papers signed before the birth if there is anyway possible.
Your soon to be husband should be with you and the baby.
Obviously he is a hell of a man ... Not too many men would stand by a woman dirung their pregnancy (from another man) .. You have a great man and father... Congrads on that and the new baby...
I am so sorry that you have to deal with all of this drama during this wonderful time of your life.
Good Luck...
Stace
2007-10-24 16:41:47 · answer #2 · answered by stacie m 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Definitely let him be there. There is a chance that if he sees the baby he might not want to give up rights. That's a chance you have to take. A couple of months of paying child support will likely change his mind back unless he's truly interested in being her Dad, and then that's his right. If you didn't want to parent with him, you shouldn't have slept with him.
However, it's more likely that he just wants to be there as a part of closure. Unfortunately, if you DON'T let him be there, then he could easily decide to give you hell about terminating his rights. You can't force him to, and you don't want your daughter to become a pawn in a game. Let him be there, just let him know that you want him to be quiet and just watch. Be civil to him, and don't cause any bumps in the road.
2007-10-24 16:53:15 · answer #3 · answered by littleJaina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't want him in there and I would think the hospital would only want one guy in there. They could get in a fight or something.
Even if he is the father you have the right to say who is in the delivery room and who is not.
If that guy is married forget it he has other obligations and you shouldn't have been messing around with him. He should be totally out of your life. Don't even let him come and see you.
He can sign papers on the baby without you being there, have a lawyer take care of it to make sure it is done right. Maybe you can get your life straightened up.
2007-10-24 16:43:23 · answer #4 · answered by Tigger 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i think of you will desire to permit him in the room. that is his toddler no longer your boyfriends. no remember what sort of guy he's that is nonetheless his baby & he merits to be between the 1st human beings to verify & carry his baby besides you. Ask you boyfriend how he could sense if the area became reversed & you have been pregnant together with his baby & you have been broke up yet your modern boyfriend did no longer think of he would desire to be in the delivery room & you probably did no longer rather need him there the two. i will permit you recognize your boyfriend does no longer like it. definite your toddler does no longer understand the version yet those fist few seconds & minutes after beginning is the bonding time & the two the father & toddler choose that. Do the perfect factor.
2016-11-09 10:11:13 · answer #5 · answered by zeh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say no. Just because it seems that it would make the situation very uncomfortable for everyone, if he is signing over the rights to the child , has a wife and you are getting married then I see no reason for him to be a part of the birth. However, it is up to you and how you are feeling about the issue.
2007-10-24 16:49:53 · answer #6 · answered by PUREfect Your Skin 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think that even though he plans on signing the rights over, it would be worthwhile to let him be there. Your fiance can play the role of the supportive partner, hold your hand, wipe sweat from your brow, etc...and the biological father could be in the background.
Even though he's giving up his rights, it is his child. It might be his way of coming to terms with his decision to let her go - and if you don't let him in there, it's not like you can go in for a do-over later on.
Having said that, you need to do what you are most comfortable with. You know what the relationship with you and he is like, etc.
If you let him in - set ground rules well in advance...ie who will cut the cord, who will be your main support, what his role would be, etc.
2007-10-24 16:46:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it would be appropriate for your ex to be present while you are giving birth. For one it is your right, to have people around you during the labour who's primary focus is to support you and help you get through it with all the love and compassion you deserve. Secondly it seems a bit strange to me that this man would want to be present at the birth of this child if he has no interest in being a part of her life. Stand up for yourself and tell him to back off. He can always see the child when you get back to the ward if that's what he wants.
2007-10-24 16:45:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Get those papers signed before he changes his mind, then tell him you don't feels its appropriate for him to be in the room. You could also tell the hospital that you don't want him to be there and they can tell him that there will already be too many people there.
Just remember he DOES NOT have to pay child support if he signs those papers. Your soon to be husband does not have to pay anything either unless he legally adopts the baby. You need to look out for the well being of you and your baby and this includes financially.
2007-10-24 16:42:56 · answer #9 · answered by Lil'Mama 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Of course the "bio-father" should be there. He was good enough to have sex with he should at least be able to witness the outcome!
You have not shown yourself to be a very mature and deserving parent...
You have another man already?
The baby's father is married and has two children?
So you made the choice to have sex with a married man, got pregnant, and now are with yet another man?
The poor child! What a soap opera you have created! I hope you have learned a lesson or two and will start making mature, adult decisions for the sake of your child.
2007-10-24 16:58:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋