My bf and i have been together 7 months. I'm 20 and he's 26. Whenever I get upset he seems to like to avoid me until i'm all better or my problems just go away....it doesn't solve anything and it is very stressful. I tell him all the time that I just wish he would talk to me and be ther for me but he just doesn't, he avoids and makes me feel worse, I have been feeling way more depressed lately than ever. :( this is horrible, any advice?
2007-10-24 16:04:48 · 25 answers · asked by SoberAsADuck 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's an emotional abuser. He knows exactly what he's doing, that's why he chose a young, inexperienced girl. Women with life experience wouldn't give him the time of day. DON'T let him rob you of your self esteem and dignity. He won't change, so please don't try. Find a man who will respect you. This one doesn't.
2007-10-24 16:08:34 · answer #1 · answered by Ade 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Trust Me!!! I've seen this very thing happen before to some of my friends and my older sisters, also myself! Relationships like this never work out. It sounds to me like he only thinks of you as something to show off to his buddies or like his property. Thats not how it should be. I am married for 7 1/2 years now and we have 3 children together. I would lay down and die for them. My first marriage. He should be devoted to you alone but he is not. Ask yourself this.. Would he be avoiding you if he loved you. I don't think he would. If he loved you he would be more caring towards you, but he isn't. See what I mean. You can do alot better than him. Believe it. You don't need someone like that.. BEST wishes for you. Hope you move on and find someone who will treat you right...
2007-10-24 23:23:15 · answer #2 · answered by Lester S 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he thinks you like to be alone to sort out problems by yourself. He might be a very sensitive type who gets as upset as you do so he avoids you.
All I can suggest is, whenever you get upset, ask him to give you a hug and hold him close so he wouldn't walk off. Don't say too much otherwise he might think you're whining.
Sometimes men like to be of physical assistance when their girlfriend is upset, like hugging, caressing or cuddling their girlfriend. Because they might not know the right words to lift your spirits, they will show you they care through actions.
Hope this helps.
2007-10-24 23:16:03 · answer #3 · answered by ChameleonGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys just don't like issues they run a mile.
Men just don't think the same as us women and they don't understand WHY women are upset or heaven forbid that they were the cause of it.
And in fairness to the male population they probably haven't caused it, women seem to think that men can get inside there heads and know what there thinking:-
For example you buy a new dress the guy doesn't notice, you get all upset he doesn't know why and you haven't told him, so of-course he will run a mile.
Try talking to him
2007-10-24 23:15:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's not gonna support you, find someone who will. There's a reason why marriage vows say for better or worse, and that's because in order to have a good healthy relationship, you need someone to be there for you. If you really love him, try talking to him about the problem, and if it doesn't get better, just try to move on.
2007-10-24 23:08:06 · answer #5 · answered by lc7089 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
let's see - he isn't around when you need him, and you have asked for this. i assume you are around when he needs help, when he is depressed? that you try to do the things he asks for (within reason?)
He is inconsiderate at best, unhelpful, rude, immature and unfeeling might be a better description. It is highly unlikely he will change - regardless of why he acts this way.
How many years do you want to spend with someone who makes you feel worse? In such an unbalanced relationship?
2007-10-24 23:10:41 · answer #6 · answered by nickipettis 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion he's only giving you space and time to calm down so you can think more clear so your able to talk about the problem with a much clearer head where if your upset, your more likely to say things you don't mean and make things worse. I had to explain this to a gf of mine once and things got better and we didn't argue as much. Give it a try.
2007-10-24 23:20:29 · answer #7 · answered by tuff5469 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No girl should ever have to go thru that. Mostly, guys avoid emotions. Unfortunately. Maybe he realizes that if he tries to comfort you he will feel empatetic and also get depressed. Is he the one whos hurting you?
2007-10-24 23:07:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you should have to put up with that. granted hes avoiding the drama, but he should at least be there to listen. men dont always give the best advice but he could at least lend you an ear. no offense but it sounds like hes in more for the physical than then emotional. get yourself someone who actually cares.
2007-10-24 23:13:20 · answer #9 · answered by chelgirl87 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should not dump him. Just leave him alone sometime and let him think about what he did and how other people feel. Give him a chance. But you do have to agree with me here, men will be men and be incorsidate!!!
=)
2007-10-24 23:10:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋