How to tell my 4 yr old daughter that our beloved dog will be euthanized?

Question

Daughter - VERY attached to our chocolate lab, her "bubba".
Lab - spinal tumor, back end of body paralyzed, Dr recommended euthanization. Also the sweetest most loving dog on the planet.

Right now he's at the veterinary hospital, we have to make our final decision by morning. How am I supposed to break her heart like this?

Answer 1

I'm sorry for your loss.

I went through this with a 6 year old. Here's what the vet told me:

Don't tell the kid about the euthenizing. Tell your daughter (son in our case) that the dog (cat) is very sick and in the hospital. One of you (without the kid) goes to the hospital to be with your pet for the final minutes. Then, be it that night or later when you have time to focus, you tell the daughter that the hospital did everything it could but they couldn't save the dog.

Yes, this is lying - sometimes that is the right thing to do with little children. The vet encouraged me to lie so that my child wouldn't think euthenizing might happen to one of his parents should we take sick. His strategy worked beautifully.

Answer 2

Just be honest. tell her a part of life and it happens to everyone and everything at some time. Its not a bad thing but just a process. Tell her hes going on to a better place and he wouldnt want her to be sad over him leaving. That hed want her to remember all the good times with him. As i see it, if hes a part of the family then treat him as so. Perhaps getting a new dog is an option? tell her you will get a puppy so that she has a new story to begin for many years to come. let her know that he is suffering and you and she shouldnt want him to be in pain when he can be in a better place or that pain can be taken away if youd only let him go. (sorry i dont know where your religion stands but you can always toss it into the equation) anyway just be honest with her in the long run it will be less painful that way. i knew about death but i never had to face it first hand like this or a family member passing away until i was in jr high and it was VERY tough then so i cant imagen how it will be for her. shes about the age where she would be wondering about these type of things anyway. best of luck and im so sorry for your loss. >.< i know how horrible it is to have to do that. its like losing a brother or mother. take it easy. ^_^

Answer 3

I know how hard it is to say goodbye to a pet, especially being there when they pass, it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.

I also have a 4 year old. Their minds are very fragile so it is best to keep things very simple.
Do not explain death in depth as you may find yourself with a very worried child. Thinking YOU are going to die.
Tell her that it was Bubbas time to go to heaven (or where ever you believe), and that she will instantly feel better and make so many friends ..ect.ect..
Talk to her about the dog in a calm way whenever she asks.
I know a lot of people are telling you to cry with her and such, but I know from other peoples experiences, that this can lead to more difficult problems.
At four years old as well...(not to sound selfish) bringing in another pet could take her mind off her missing Bubba.
My heart goes out to you and your family for your loss.

Answer 4

What a hard thing to deal with! I'm so sorry you and your family have to go through this. I definitely wouldn't tell her about the euthanizing. I would go with the story where the dog is in the hospital and is very sick and will have to go to heaven soon. It will be heart breaking at first but time does heal.

Answer 5

Kids understand more than we realize. My son was 2 1/2 when my Father-in-Law passed away earlier this year and he kept asking "Where's Papa?" We just said "Papa,s bye-bye." Finally one day I sat down and help him and told him that when people are sick that God takes them up to Heaven so they are not in pain anymore. He has rarely asked about him since that day. Tell her that the dog is very sick and that they have a special place in Heaven for dogs where they will be able to jump and play and not be in pain.

Answer 6

My mother just had a similar situation, my siblings are 6 and 7, so a little older, but they had already lost one pet just a year before, so my mom told them that because the dog was sick the vet took her home with him, because she knew they wouldnt be able to handle it, but if you want to tell her, I would explain that he/she is going to doggy heaven where he/she will be happy and get to play with all the other dogs and god can make him/her feel much better than they do here on earth, and that he/she will always be with her. (of course it depends on you religion) Those things are always hard to but with a child, just make it sound as nice as possible, and try not to get upset while telling her! good luck! Sorry for your loss!

Answer 7

While it sounds harsh... she will get over it. I know that sounds horrible but it's the truth. Explain to her that her dog is in a lot of pain and cannot walk anymore. After it is done, have a ceremony of sorts and bury the collar (or the dog if that's something you want to do) just to give her a chance to say goodbye.
I know it is horrible, I just had to get one of my dogs put down. I'd had her since I was 8. The hardest part was being there when they did it but I would not have had it any other way. Help her to understand that sometimes we have to do things that are right for others (animals and humans) but may hurt us alot

Answer 8

you tell her that someone took her or she went to live some where else , may be with the nice old man who really needs a dog. I would think that there is plenty of time when she gets older to learn about such things. I told my daughter her bird died once and wished I would have lied! It was so terrible she acted like a human died. she was 7 and I honestly wished I had lied. I know it sounds bad but I really till this day wish that.
by the way I like suz's answer best.

Answer 9

I would just tell her the dog is very sick and going to die. Don't tell her you are making the choice. It is hard but dying is a part of life that some have to learn sooner then others. Let her go and say good bye. Answer all her questions and tell her it is OK to cry. Allow her to see you cry too.

Answer 10

Tell her that God needs "Bubba" to keep him company, but Bubba will still protect her, just now from heaven. And every morning when she wakes up, remind her to look to heaven and say hello to Bubba.

This worked well when we lost our cat.