What Do you do If you became a christian but don't like being close to people?

Question

I have tried sooooo hard to be extraverted and social but the truth is that it's absolutely miserable. Church is torture, everyone wants to talk, shake hands, hug, get to know me and I just want to run as far away as I can. I treasure my solitude, my quiet life and distance but my church has this loud band and everyone is loud and annoying and kind of dumb....I don't mean to be hatefull, I'm just trying to be as truthful as I can. They encourage these small groups that meet in peoples homes and I attempted this and I about killed me, horrible experience. What does this make me? Am I a bad Christian? I

Answer 1

When I was younger, I was REALLY uncomfortable with all the talking/hugging/greeting stuff at churches too. I let it drive me to stop attending church for many years. I do not recommend that strategy...I missed so many opportunities to learn and grow.

When I returned to church about a year ago, I found that I wasn't as uncomfortable as I was when I was younger. I still have a tendency to do a fast entry and exit...and when we have the "find someone you don't know and say hi" part of the service, I tend to stick to a few people around me while others are running all over the church.

One thing that might work for you is an online church. I attend an online church on Saturday nights (also has Sunday morning services but I go to the physical services on Sunday). We still have interaction but it is all virtual and I'm much more comfortable with that. We even have the small group fellowship...but again, they are totally online in a chat room. Last night our group watched a video together and discussed it afterwards...the exact same thing the local groups do, but the members were from three different cities...it is a blast and I get to keep my privacy!

I also know about several other online churches that offer great messages and music without all that touching...I can attend in my pjs and not worry about what people are thinking about me or about people that want to invade my space...I control the level of interaction online.

If you would like more information about my church or other links, please contact me via email. I would love to have you join me sometime for Saturday evening services!

Answer 2

You are not a bad Christian. Maybe you need to find a different church. You may need something that is a little bit more quite. I use to go through stages where I wanted to be left alone also. Have you been hurt alot by other people. You may be experiencing the pain of past relationships by being touched by others. God loves you just the way you are and wants you to enjoy church. I would look around and be sure to pray.

Answer 3

Thanks for sharing. I have always been very shy and I have difficulty at church for this reason. I know that I should be more involved in the Body of Christ, but I just don't feel comfortable around a lot of people.
I really don't know if there is an answer to this problem. I have prayed about it and the Lord told me to "be still".
I do my best to show my Christian love in my everyday dealings with others and I also sponsor many children and write to women that are serving life sentences in prison. I do a ton of boxes up for "Operation Christmas Child." In other words, I find ways to show the love of Christ outside the church.
I show up for church to have communion and worship, but not on a weekly basis. I know that I should be more "plugged in" to the fellowship part, but like you I just don't fit.

Answer 4

no, i do the same thing. I am just kinda shy and like my space. I don't even like hugging my friends. So it is normal. If it really bothers you, pray about it, but God did not say you have to be a bottled Christian. Be you, even if we are kinda hermitty. that's not a word, i know. and don't worry. I'm not shy unless I am at church, weird. I think it also comes from being judged so much as a kid. Made fun of and so on. It is kinda a defense mechanism. To determine if people are being real-nice or fake-nice.
ps.
if(2telldat...)reads this, your answer was pretty irrelevant, and rude. it is a real issue. You don't have to mention God in every sentince to be a Christian.

Answer 5

Funny you should say that. I used to be same when I became a Christian and I still have that kind of preference - being alone. I got involved in personal discipling relationships and gradually got more comfortable with group activities, though I prefer relating with individuals. My favorite activity became Bible study. I ended up teaching and preaching. And now I have an internet ministry with 50,000 visitors a month and a daily devotional email list of 2800 people, along with of course church ministry activities.

But I still consider myself an introvert. Personality is not character. All kinds of different personalities are acceptable in the Christian community. But we should have a common character - primarily that of love and humility.

Answer 6

Your personality is your personality. However, once saved and confessed to be a Christian, you are like clay. God will continue to mold you if you allow this. He doesn't force anything on us. Is there something in your past that has made your heart hardened toward affection and socialization? My husband was somewhat of an introvert when I first met him; however, since I was very touchy/feely and outwardly compassionate (plus an extrovert), he grew to love being that way with lots of prayer and remolding of the clay. Now, he is more touchy/feely...even than I am. We are like clay, and we strive to do God's Will day by day, minute by minute and second by second once we become a Christian. God is love, so I feel that it is very important for you to be able to exhibit your love to others ...for we are to love our neighbors, family...etc.... If you only tell them you care and love them......without showing them in some fashion....your love may be questioned. Our Savior did show us in many ways how he loved us. He was very compassionate about us too, so yes....if you are a Christian, and can't seem to express your feelings of love (charity), concern, passion etc... then..yes, I would say that you just need to be in continual prayer to our Heavenly Father through Jesus Christ, our Savior. Ask him... he will help...it may not be when you think it should be...but he will help ...if you ask with a sincere heart. Good LUCK and MAY GOD BLESS YOU!

As for doing the social things in peoples homes etc... if you are an introvert, you probably need to take things slow...as you grow spiritually. The Holy Spirit will lead you, and comfort you in your choices.

Answer 7

Don't worry none.
Just so you want to be With Jesus, that's what really counts.

Listen, I heard a very Respected man of Faith say one Time---some people are just Loaners-- Oooops, I mean LONERS! (hehehe! My Mystake!)
Yeah, hey, did you know some of the Tribes of Israel couldn't get along with the Others?

It is a Human Being Thing while were on the Earth, but in Heaven, all of that will go away.
Hope this helps.

Answer 8

Beloved:

I'm praying for you. Becoming a christian does'nt happen over night its a process like any other transitions. now you say your a christian not only do you have to walk the walk but you have to talk the talk as well. If you are sincere about wanting to be a christian, you need to pray and ask God to take away that selfish spirit. Do yourself a favor and stop saying or claiming that ur a christian until ur able to express love and affection to your bretheren because as quiet as its kept thats not the m.o. of a true christian; part of being a christian is to be Christ-like. so that foolishness your talking is not of God, (Not of the God that i serve).

Answer 9

I don't know if your schedule allows, but they have a morning daily mass at my church. 99% of the 15 people that are there all sit around the altar, and there's one man that sits in the pews. The best part about it, is that it lasts like 25minutes. I like going because its more personal. None of us bother the guy in the pew, he goes up for communion like everyone else, but he obviously wants to pray in peace. Find a weekday mass, catholics always have them, and catholics are christians too.

Answer 10

It depends on the christian religion which you have selected. You should know that there are many alleged christian religion which are not true christians and not on a true religion. You can easily detect the true christian religion in your observation whether the bible is really followed by that religion which you b elong. The teachings is solely based on the bible and not the own docrtrines of that religion and the doctrine of the false pastor who is teaching you regarding the verses in the bible..
If you only try to read and read the bible you could know whether your present christian religion is really true religion. Please read the bible and search for a true religion.. Can you visit this sources?
jtm