Single moms...how the heck to you support yourself?

Question

I have been going through a divorce and me and my kids are staying with my folks. Working and child support aren't enough to allow me and my kids to have a place of our own. I have applied for every kind of assistance imaginable and was denied every time. ??????

We live in California but haven't been able to move (he is fighting me tooth and nail), I have tried for food stamps, cash aid and subsidized daycare....I make too much. You have to make not much more than minimum wage to receive help. I have tried "discounted" rentals and they all have a waitings list of at least a few years some waiting lists are even closed. I just hope we get to go to Tennessee.

WI MOM... You did not answer the question I asked and you directly insulted me. I DO WORK HARD READ THE QUESTION!!! How DARE you! I did not choose to walk away from my marriage of seven years, my husband did. Hopefully YOURS NEVER DOES THAT TO YOU. Have some compassion and have a heart. Since you are also a mother, I am shocked you would give such a rude and heartless answer.

Ryans mom...I'm so sorry about your baby girl. I will pray for you and your family. God Bless.

Answer 1

Hey,
I would like to start with, i understand financially how hard it is. I am young. I am only 22, and i have a 18 month old son. I work, and study. I qualify for subsidized childcare, and housing however, the waiting list for childcare is over a year long right now, and housing is 7 years. I just do whatever i have to, and make ends meet. I have a one bedroom that i share with my son, I make sure that Food, and Rent are always paid first. I cant even remember that last time that i bought something for myself. Everything goes to my children, and I DONT EVEN GET CHILD SUPPORT. The father is an *** and doesnt pay. I know ur struggling, but you should stop and think that there are people out there worse off then you are right now. Just be thankful that you have beautiful children, who love you no matter what. Keep your head high, and eventually it will all come together. Life throws us many challenges, and we can survive them all.

Answer 2

I did it for 6 years with 2 kids. I had to get a better paying job. The 1st thing I told every job is My kids come 1st... I worked 60 hours + per week. I found a daycare that I trusted with my life. I made a budget of what my bills were and what I had left over (which did not seem like much). If you have a car payment, I would look at getting into a car that is not as much or with no payments. You also need to understand that all the extras that you used to be able to get you will not. My kids would get taken to a fast food 1 time a month as a treat for everything they had to give up too. I was never on any public assistance. I had to fight and do it all on my own.... And I can say that I am proud that I did it and my kids know that we had our hard times and my daughter always tells me she is glad that she went thru that so she knows that she does not want to marry someone like her dad.. He lived 1 1/2 miles from us and never helped and never came and seen them. Now that I am remarried he wants something to do with my kids.. but they are pushing him away now... You can do it.. just keep your head up and know you are doing what you have to...

Answer 3

What about single dads?

I send my kids off to school at 745 in the morning and I get to work for 800. I work through lunch so I can be home with them when they get home. We do have our own home that I am renting. It is 2 houses away from the school and 2 miles away from work. I pay $900 a month and I have to pay electric and gas and water. I also pay a truck note. I work on Saturdays as well. My pay is also being garnished because after we split up, she made a loan and did not repay it. Because we are still married until the divorce, I am responsible for half of it. 25% of my pay goes to repay her loan. I will get it back in the settlement but until then Oh well. I was able to reduce my grocery bill, No snacks or sodas just the basics, I reduced just about everything. Lights off most the time, stuff like that. We are struggling but we are happy. My ex-wife also refuses to pay her child support. and has done nothing for the kids. I have tried gov. assitiance but they say I make just over the limit for help. So, Keep your head up and you will make it.

Answer 4

First start by making a budget and see where you can cut some expenses.
Next try careerbuilder.com, indeed.com for job searches. With Xmas coming there are going to be a lot of part time jobs coming up so you can get some extra cash.
If you are on friendly terms with your ex you might want to ask for some help. If you feel you should be getting more money take him back to court.
Try to start a savings account or open a CD while at your folks place to save money.
Good luck.

Answer 5

I didn't have the advantage of being able to live at my folks... NOR did I receive child support...but luckily I only had one child---but 3 JOBS... one full time, two part-time... and I PAID for child care..!!! It was difficult, we had VERY LITTLE, and we lived in really crappy places for a LONG TIME but we made do with what we had and my child ALWAYS knew he was loved---(although his father was never a part of his life once I kicked him out 27 YEARS ago)....I ate so many peanutbutter sandwiches to survive so that my son could have normal meals....and I worked from 8:30AM until 10:30PM 5 nights a week and Saturday AND Sunday from 5:30AM until 1PM .... I didn't go ANYWHERE but to kiddie concerts or my son's school activities and his martial arts classes until he was 18 years old... You LEARN to do what you HAVE to do to survive.... hopefully all legal....and 18 years later after your last child has left to go out into the world, THEN you have time for YOU... and you can look back and say---it was all worth it because my kids LOVE ME and know I did what I NEEDED to do so that THEY could have the best life possible....by the way, I made $1 too much on my one job to be ALLOWED food stamps or any kind of help with ANYTHING...so I DO know where you are coming from about assistance... it basically SUCKS for the poor single moms...

Answer 6

I am not divorced but my husband has been out of work since June so I am working 3 jobs and have applied for a 4th to try to make ends meet. He makes too much on unemployment for us to qualify for any state benefits, and I am waiting for my insurance at one of my 2 full-time jobs to kick in. Until then I just hope and pray that none of us gets sick or gets hurt. We have to pay full price for any existing prescriptions. We lost a baby girl at 21 weeks last year and was on Zoloft and have not been able to afford to get it. You are not supposed to just quit taking it so I have been having a lot of problems with my depression also. We just have to do what we have to in order to survive.

Answer 7

I have never lived with my parents with my child. You are lucky to have that opportunity. I would use that opportunity to get back on your feet. It is tough these days. You can get emergency welfare, ONLY if you have an eviction notice or if your utilities are going to be shut of, with a disconnection notice. That is for BC though.

I am working right now. I live in a low income housing for low income family/single parents. I would apply for Low/middle income housing. I am in an apartment and the apartment was only built 4 years ago. The rent is determined on your income usually 30% of your income would be rent. I pay $342 a month for rent. My landlords DO NOT count My child tax benefits towards my rent. That is Federal Gov't money. They don't even look at that as income. My gas is included as well as my cable is included in my rent. I only have to pay for power/hydro, and phone/net. I don't even get child support from my ex. I had split with my ex since Feb. 2004. My ex is in arrears for child support. When I tried to get child maintence through welfare they wouldn't go through with it because of his violent past, income assistant quashed it. I have a restraining order against my ex.

I have sole custody of my child. I get child Care subsidy to cover daycare before and after school care, while I work. I was on Income Assistance when I had left my abusive ex. I would definately look into low income housing for single parents. I don't know the area you are in, otherwise I would send you a link. I also get Child Tax Benefits through the Federal Gov't of Canada. Which applies to ALL parents that are low/middle income, whether on income assistance or working class.

Answer 8

Wow, I guess this is something I have to face. I'm deciding on whether to go with my parents overseas and study there for nursing (cheaper, will help with my kids) b/c when I look at it it will be easier for me and I won't feel like I'm putting them through something by struggling. I can't believe you have filed for every kind of assistance (even food stamps? do you get cash-aid? do you get childcare vouchers?) and it still doesn't help?

If you don't mind me asking, what is your occupation and how much do you get paid? How old are your children? Do you live in an expensive state?

I have a newfound respect for single moms.

Answer 9

that is part of the reason I am not divoced!

you will have to get a job and send the darlings to a state funded day care be really careful

so sorry for your situation

Answer 10

Tax payers aren't responsible for your poor life choices.

Work hard like the rest of us. Stay with your parents as long as possible. Your children deserve a stable environment and married adult role models.