How do I approach my family about this...?

Question

My parents have been going through some financial troubles lately. I will give you a brief back story just so you can have more information.

Two years ago my sister lost both of her kids to the Division of Childrens Services. In an effort to keep the kids in the family my mother and step father adopted them. But with all the lawyer fees and having to buy the kids all new things (beds, clothes, etc) they have maxed out all their credit cards and just buried themselves in debt. On top of that my sister has been asking to borrow money so that she can pay rent, electric etc etc.

Ok so now to the question...

My mom's family all make good money. She has NEVER asked them for any money and is too proud to ask now. Would it be ok for me to send them all a letter or something explaining the situation and asking for help or should I just stay out of it. I don't know what to do cause I don't have any extra money to give her or I would. All help is appreciated. Thanks in advance!

Answer 1

You are such a sweet girl to think of your family and not just yourself, you are indeed a rare breed. I don't know how old you are, but I guess it doesn't make much difference because your parents are in charge of the addition to the family and therefore they know what they are doing financially. You could always get a job, even if it's babysitting for the neighbor's children. Your mother would be so proud of you for this. If you can't get a job then think of ways to cut back on bills. Turn lights off when you leave a room, don't ask for new clothes and stuff unless you really need them, clip coupons from the paper for savings on groceries, etc. If you contacted other family members it might hurt your parents pride, they know how much money the other adults in their extended family have more than you do, if they really wanted the help they would have asked already. I sure wish you were my child, what a treasure!

Answer 2

Does your parents get any help from the state they live in for the grandkids? Maybe this is something they shoul check into. Also if your sister is of age I know its hard but money ties to her should stop. She sounds like she needs help and by them giving to her when she needs it isn't fixing the problem she is having only feeding it. I wouldn't talk to your family about any problems before sitting your mom and dad down and having a heart to heart talk with them about how you feel. Suggest your idea during this talk and see how receptive they are of the idea. But don't do it behind their back..it may come back to haunt you. Your parents are great for keeping the kids in the family so many times grandparents can't financially do that. But I reaaly feel talking with your parents and letting them know your concerned is better then going behind their back...good luck

Answer 3

I wouldn't do any kind of broadcast... this is a touchy subject and can really cause embarrassment and hard feelings.

Christmas is coming up... if anyone is asking for hints, you can be there with the right suggestion.

Your parents are to be praised for taking on the task of rearing their grandchildren. They should have been shopping less expensive ways of equipping the kids, though. Knock-down furniture from Ikea, and clothes from WalMart will do fine. They could have even held a shower for them.

Answer 4

I would go ahead and contact some of your other family..your mom should understand you are just trying to help out.And maybe the rest of the family can be involved with the kids too.

Answer 5

Stay out of it. If your parents get desperate enough, let them be the ones to ask for help.

Answer 6

For sure you should ask family with letters for help family helps one another, wither finacialy or emotionaly

Answer 7

that is a verty swear thing to do for ur mom. i think that it would help the situation is they gave help

Answer 8

go ahead and help out ur family and tell ur mom's family they will pay them back.