They're so annoying, and plus, i understand that I am at an age where tension between the parents is normal (im 13) But i wanna be a good daughter, and stop back-talking to them. I want to control my anger, and just stop.. but how?
2007-10-24 13:32:18 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I used to have the same problem!
My solution: Girls at age 13 are bound to be edgy and a bit...rash. xP In my case, it took a lot of self-control to not say anything back at my parents.Try thinking of something that you are looking forward to or busy yourself with something. Those two things always helped me. =)
If all else fails, know that you will, eventually, grow out of that moody stage. Good Luck!
<3 Victoria
2007-10-24 13:37:36 · answer #1 · answered by Victoria 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've done the most important thing, realizing you have an anger issue. Most people do to some extent. But until you realize that the specific issue of ANGER is the problem, you can't fix it. Look on the internet, google anger. There are some great websites that will help you. Mostly, just realize that a reaction of anger will never solve the immediate problem, so go elsewhere, react in a different way.
2007-10-24 13:36:57 · answer #2 · answered by The Scorpion 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When i was a little kid i also had an anger issues.now i am 17 and have seen what verbal abuse can do.my stepmom and i have never gotten along at all in the 9 years that she has been married to my dad.the problem is i live with my dad and though i don't have anymore anger issues,there are still sometimes where she will have gone to far.on a daily bases she tells me i am a worthless kid who was born by accident,and that's when i don't do my chores or when i screw up.now i still get into arguments (i just don't say anything back) with my stepmom it happens very rarely now.i just let her ***** at me and kinda tune out when especially when i here her bringing up how worthless i am.here are some ideas that i found that can help you control your anger better,these are what i do.
Take a walk.it lets you have time to yourself and you have time to cool off.
just take the criticism.sure it may hurt,but if you talk back you are only going to make the problem worse.don't know how many times i made a remark and it got me nowhere,just made a bad problem worse.
lay or sit down in your room and listen to your music.it does wonders.
read a good book.it gives you something to do,and you can be alone in your room to do it.
hang out with your friends.have fun with them.if you dwell on it,it will not be a pleasent experience for you and your friends.plus if you dwell on it how can you help calm yourself down.
write what you would want to say to them,and then rip it up very good.
uhmm...if your parents are divorced see if you can't visit your other parent for a few days,just long enough for you to calm down andtry talking to them about the problem you are having with your other parents.never know, you could get some good advice.hey were teenagers at one time and had to deal with the same problem you are going through now.
talk to a school councilor never know how much that can help.when i went to public school (homeschooled now and hate it)thats what i did,and it helped me out alot.
these are some of the things that i do.it has saved me from alot of trouble.but a good piece of advice is to calm yourself down before you do your homework,otherwise you will it will only frustrate you even more.hope some of my advice helps,good luck,and don't give up.
2007-10-24 17:44:12 · answer #3 · answered by California resident 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 13, you have some major hormonal swings taking place, and that will naturally make you a bit cranky.
The most important skill you can acquire is self-control, and the most knowledge is self-knowledge.
Learn to ACT consciously instead of REACT. Reactions are knee-jerk responses that will get you in trouble.
When your parents are talking to you, shut up, stand still, look them in the face, and pay attention. No snipes, no back-talk. "Yes, sir. Yes, ma'am. No, sir. No, ma'am." Remember that you have LOST the minute you lose control. If you have anything to say, don't hesitate to take responsibility up front and don't ever go into blamer-mode. "I'm sorry I was late getting home, but can I tell you how it went?"
It isn't like they are asking a whole lot from you. Your job is to do well in school, stay out of trouble, pick up after yourself, do the few chores they assign to you... and MIND YOUR PARENTS. It doesn't take a lot to keep them off your back.
Bear in mind that behaving like a little kid will keep them from extending the freedoms that should come as you get older.
2007-10-24 13:53:46 · answer #4 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stop... the anger you feel perfectly normal, write it down in a journal, take up running or some other kind of activity you`re able to burn this frustration on. Talk honestly to your parents I promise your parents want to help you and being older well they too were 13 at one time so having people that you can completely trust who have experienced what your dealing with most definitely help smooth this transition for you and your parents
2007-10-24 13:40:31 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I totally know what you mean. It's so hard not to talk back to your parents when they keep blathering on and on and on... but one thing I've learned is that IF you backtalk, they lecture you more. Just keep in mind what they say, and think to yourself that they're just trying to help you. They really care for you...
When you are not arguing, or when they are not lecturing you, try talking to them about how YOU feel.
1. Do not raise your voice
2. Do not tell them that they don't understand anything
3. Do not say you hate them
4. Say you love them, and you respect them whenever you can.
5. Just breathe. In. Out. If you find you can't control your anger, think about something else when you're talking to your parents. Think about a good memory or w/e...
GL!!!
It's really good that you're trying to be a better person.
2007-10-24 13:39:51 · answer #6 · answered by pari 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Simply don't. Hold your tongue, and then write it down or tell it to something that doesn't have ears - just so you can get it out of your system. The urge to do that will go away soon - it does in all teens eventually. If you want to be a good daughter you could even write them a letter of apology, and mean it too.
2007-10-24 14:34:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just Imagine How They Have Loved You And Love You Now And Will Love You In The Future.
2007-10-25 02:48:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a two way street. Just tell them you are too upset to respond right away without back-talking, and that you don't want to back talk anymore. Ask them for a bit of time to think things over, and try to tell them that you love them. I hope it works. You are a great kid for wanting to try.
2007-10-24 13:38:16 · answer #9 · answered by bin there dun that 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have to know that your parents know better then you ,
i mean you are 13 and your parents have much experience , and when they say some thing or give an advice, is fo a reason.
know one can love you like your parents do , so respect them and be polite with them.
and remember what GOD said.
i mean even ouf or ohhhh don't say it.
good luck sis.
2007-10-26 07:52:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋