my son is already at a disadvantage for being black, how can i make him a man as a single mom??

Answer 1

I sincerely hope you don't let him hear you say things like that-"at a disadvantage because he's black" He should be proud of his race. And why would it be hard for him to emerge as a "man" being raised by a single woman? I raised my son alone and he is a fine, wonderful, happy MAN!

Answer 2

Your son's "blackness" is only a disadvantage to him if YOU let him BELIEVE it is.... he can have the exact same opportunities as every one else---as long as he works hard and EARNS them... There have been PLENTY of black men who have risen to greatness even though they were raised in POVERTY, projects and by single moms.... You have to give your son CONFIDENCE and praise him for things he does well and HELP him when he needs help with school work and make him understand how VERY IMPORTANT an education is and how even if there is NO MONEY, if he applies himself and gets excellent grades, he CAN go on to college and get scholarships and BE SOMEBODY when he graduates.... don't limit him because he might be black or poor ... or whatever... He will have the same expectations in HIMSELF that YOU have in him..... make him STRIVE for more then just being a ghetto banger... Instill a sense of fair play, honesty, integrity and intelligence in him and he will repay you by becoming the man you would always want him to be--maybe even MORE.... Give him POSITIVE black male roll models to look up to---men who (although born in poverty) became famously successful.... (Martin Luther King, Barack Obama, Colin Powell, Sidney Poitier, Samuel L. Jackson, Jamie Foxx, etc. I was basically a poor white single mom of a son and he is now 29 and although he didn't become a doctor or a lawyer or a politician or anything big like that, I have ALWAYS shown him I was proud of him and anything he accomplished... he has a great job, and what I would consider a great life... TONS of friends, and I can leave this earth KNOWING I did a good job as a mother..... You can too.....

Answer 3

Well first off you can start by believing in him so he will believe in himself. He will feel disadvantage, if you instill in him he is. It does not matter what color you are, If you want to work for something and be someone it can be done. Also raising him as a single mother, does not make a difference either. I raised four children on my own. 3 being boys. One was in the military and is working full time at a good paying job as a supervisor, One is making the Career of the Air Force and the 3rd one is graduating this year and is a fantastic artist. They had no help from there father. Have faith mom...

Answer 4

You have a HARD job and I admire you for seeking advice. I feel like young black boys today are faced with so much pressure to be some stereotype - whether it's how they talk or how they dress. I've even heard that many black kids are teased if they make good grades because it's seen as "being white" which I think is so sad. In my opinion, you just need to instill in him a sense of HONOR, integrity, honesty, and being a person who gives 100% in everything he attempts. It's not about succeeding at everything he attempts but rather giving it your all before you walk away. There is nothing black, white, mexican, latino, asian, etc about being smart and succeeding in life. If I were you, I would teach him that even though life isn't fair and there WILL be people who judge him by his skin, he has to rise ABOVE that. He will never achieve all the happiness he can if he holds bitterness in his heart towards a whole race of people. Life isn't fair. It's tough and it will kick the crap out of you but no one said life would be easy. You have to work hard. The great thing about America is that anyone, no matter what their race, CAN achieve success if they are determined and have a good work ethic. Look at Barack Obama - he wasn't born into a priviledged household yet he excelled in school and went on to some of the best graduate schools in our country through hard work and determination to make something of his life. I admire that!

Answer 5

His race is not a "disadvantage".

How about start by teaching him that the color of his skin does not matter, and he can be anything he wants to be, as long as he works hard and is dedicated, and believes he can do it. Everyone's life has obstacles, but if you start off by believing that he already has less of a chance because of his skin color, you impose invisible limits on what he can do, and it does him a disservice. Sure there's racism out there.. there always will be, whereever small minded people are.. but why should be live his life sidestepping someone else's stupid beliefs?

You love him -show him he can have the world.

Answer 6

He is not disadvantaged. You live in the wrong area if he is. Teach him to be respectable and put a huge emphasis on education, then any extra stuff like athletics or music.

Hopefully he doesn't think you think he has a disadvantage.

My fiance is black, educated, a police officer. Comes from a strong, intact, loving Christian family. He is anything but disadvantaged.

Answer 7

It sounds like his biggest disadvantage is yourself.
Maybe if you stopped thinking his color has anything to do with him being a "man" he might feel more confident in himself and he might get our there and make his way, with confidence.
What's being a single mom got to do with any of this. It sound like you use that as a crutch and make excuses not only for yourself but your son too. I'll bet his is a fine person who wants to move ahead in life but, perhaps, feels he cant because he has an anchor around his neck....you!
I'm sure you are probably a very caring and loving mother who only wants the best for her son. Please give him your best shot. Let him run, with your guidance, and I'll bet he will make you very proud.

Answer 8

There are NO disadvantages--he has to understand that he is an individual--with unique talents and abilities---so encourage him to put those talents to work for him. He needs to think positive--stand tall--be respectful and be proud. He needs to smile and say HI to everyone--and he needs to learn courtesy and a good work ethic---and he needs to learn that the word NO is not acceptable--saying yes to opportunities and taking a shot at everything that comes his way. It is OK to fail--people who fail at least are trying. Learning to say" thank you" and" I'm sorry "is a great way to express himself. Tell him "black "is not a disadvantage--no one owes him anything and he needs to be just as good as the next person. Praise and mentoring are ways to build up self confidence--single mom or not--you need to be pushing him to be the best he can be. Be well groomed, dressed appropriately--and speak like an educated person. Avoid gangs--bums--and any trouble---he needs to ALWAYS do the right thing. Good luck

Answer 9

Being black doesn't neccessarily put him at a disadvantige. If you believe that he will end up in a gang or worse. Teach him that because he's black he is a great kid. I am a white man who was married to a black woman for 20 yrs before her death of cancer and I learned that being black has some advantiges.
Teach him not to hate anyone because of the color of their skin and you will have taught him the best lesson that anyone can learn. Raise him in such a way that he will love himself despite the fact that he's black. Teach him the history of the black race and that he should be proud of that fact.

Answer 10

One of the big problems in the black community now days is single moms with no husbands . Reason so many black teens are getting into trouble . Best thing to do is talk to him ever night . Make him tell you what he is doing . Tell him about the bad side of life and how to advoid it . You might try getting him to go to church and joining some teen after school group like the BOY"S CLUB OF AMERICA . . GOOD LUCK