my man lied, what should i do?

Question

His coworker called and told me that he and she were planning on getting together for sex. at first I was like "why are you calling me with these lies?". she said, check his phone and view the msg's he sent me. So curiousity got the best of me, I checked his phone and sure enough, they were sending sexual msg's to each other. So when I confronted him, I didn't tell him I saw the msg's but just what his coworker told me, he denied, denied, denied. and when I told him that I saw them for myself, he said it was innocent and got mad at me for going through his phone. Why should he have the right to be mad at me? We've been together for 2 yrs and talk of marriage. How am I suppossed to trust him now? And he says this is my fault for not trusting him. How is this my fault? He apologized and wants me back, but should I forgive him?

Answer 1

hunny if I were u i wouldnt take him back. Once a cheater always a cheater. I took mine back and now I hate that I did it. And Honestly how is it innocent hes been with u for 2 years and yall are wanting to get married. He must not be that serious about you. Why would he be talkin sexual to another girl? Its NOT innocent no where near it, talking to another person sexual is tech. cheating. EXP. if ur that serious. NO he has NO reason to be mad at you!

Answer 2

2 years? I'm 48 years old, been married twice. I won't go into all that because it's not relevant but I can tell you this. If you think that his fooling around is going to cease because you marry him then you're in for a rude awakening.

Some women want to buy into the idea that they somehow were not satisfying their mate when their mate fools around. Not true. What you are most likely dealing with is someone who can't be satisfied no matter how hard you try.

IF you don't believe that then ask him why he is mad? The truth is he lost his cake and Edith too. This incident has the potential to define and ruin your life and his emotions concerning it are null and void. They don't mean anything at this point.

Whoever this co-worker is, they did you the best favor a person could ever do for someone. They not only uncovered a jerk but denied themselves whatever pleasure they could have derived from the sordid affair. Get out now while you have an ounce of sanity left because if you take this guy back you'll be crazy in no time flat.

Answer 3

Some men will totally deny anything even when you have solid proof. It is a case of being scared of the consequences of being busted.
I don't think that your problem is with him lying anyway, but more that he was planning on having sex with someone else/ Although, I do find it very odd that this woman would ring you and tell you this, as if she was setting him up almost?
If you dangle a carrot, most donkeys will bite.
And as for how you can trust him, right now, you can't.
But some couples can get through things like this. My partner has been borderline unfaithful in the past, but as we have two children and I still loved him, despite the hurt, I gave him a chance to prove himself, so far, he has been brilliant, he went to therapy, we communicate better and I would be sincerely surprised if something else were to happen. I guess you have to ask yourself the question, Is this man worth it?
Don't get me wrong, if my partner and I had only been together two years and we had no children, I would have bounced him down the road no hesitation.

Answer 4

I hate to say this but that is the behavior of a typical player. Why can't people just admit when they have been caught? I mean even if he said I am an a** I don't know whats wrong with me, it would sound better then the denial when you know he is lying. All I can tell you is run..and I am serious. The reason he is trying to make it your fault is because that's how he keeps you in his life while still being the player he is. There is no use wondering why people do the things they do, but the bottom line is what he did is a relationship breaker. Good luck...

Answer 5

He's angry because you violated his privacy to get to the truth. He should have been wise enough to know that you might check his phone. Basically he is mad because he was stupid and got caught. Now what do you do?

Sometimes people make mistakes. You work through them and develop a wonderful relationship. On the other hand this could be your preview of what is to become. So sit back and take a deep breath. Then ask YOURSELF. "What should I do." Your spirit will give you the correct answer. What you must do is have the discipline to accept that answer...In reality. It already sounds to me like you want to forgive him. Lastly, No he does not have the right to get angry at you. It is not your fault. Every man and woman is responsible for their actions...Peace

Answer 6

Ok either she got a hold of his phone and just framed him because she is jealous and likes him or he really sent those messages and is a lying cheating idiot. But if he did get mad at you for going through his phone, he sounds guilty. So, as a result, you should lose the loser. If he lies and cheats once, he will lie and cheat again. Do you want to put yourself through a marriage that has no trust or loyalty?

Answer 7

It is not your fault. You had every right to do what you did. i don't believe in searching your partner's things, but in this case, i understand. the girl that called you, obviously wanted to break things up between the both of you, and it did.

as for forgiving him, thats a personal choice. you shouldn't just take someone back because they apologize. sorry doesn't fix the lamp. Its still broken. the question is, can you trust him again. Thats what you should ask yourself. you can forgive him, and not take him back. He lied, and trust is so important to a relationship. If you think you can trust him again, then maybe you can slowly work things out. but thats all up to u. like i said, its personal. Its all about trust. If your gonna take forgive him, and take him, you can't think about is where he says he is, in the back of his mind. you can't become suspicous and follow him around. If you THINK you can have a successful relationship, then you already made a choice.

Answer 8

If he really thinks it is your fault then why is he apologizing?

Her is what you have to ask yourself.
1. Can you completely forget that he did this and trust him again with all your heart?

If you cant then you will have to break up with him or else later down the road there will just be more heartache and pain whether or not he cheats on you again.

Answer 9

once a cheater always a cheater. if you stay with him or worse marry the dumbass you will be cheated on forever. i know its hard but i went through the same thing with my ex-husband and i wasnt deeling with it. i know right now your comfortable and dont think you can do it without him but be strong and know there is millions of men out there. leaving him was the best thing i could ever have done. expecially if you have kids you dont want them to grow up players or hoes cause thats how there daddy was. and he dosent sound to smart why wouldnt he erase something like that. the man i got now is the best man in the world and im mad i didnt leave my ex sooner

Answer 10

Forget him, if he loved you to begin with he wouldn't be talking to any other girl. It's not your fault, that's just easy for him to say because he got caught. Move on!!! If you forgive him now, he will just think he got away with it and he will find someone who won't tell you about what they are doing. He will cheat on you and I'm sure he has already, this is just the only time he has been caught.