Can I not have music and alcohol at my wedding reception?

Question

I don't dance, I mean ever. Neither does my boyfriend. My family doesn't dance at weddings, my boyfriend's family did dance at his sister's wedding, but he and I just sat at the table for the whole reception. Neither of us drink, and our families aren't big drinkers, so as long as I kept it short, could we get away without either? It's not like anyone would be traveling from far away, we live in north eastern connecticut, the farthest someone would be traveling is south eastern massachusetts.

we won't be having a champagne toast, maybe a diet cola toast ;-P

and there definately won't be a first dance, my boyfriend is a terrible dancer, the one time we did dance, stepped all over my feet!

Answer 1

absolutely! It's your reception, so as long as your hubby-to-be is ok with it, do whatever you want!!! maybe just have a nice dinner or something..

Answer 2

A wedding does not have to be filled with hoopla and everyone bouncing off the walls.

Some of the best weddings I ever went to were buffet meals where everyone was fellow-shipping and having a good time and there was no dacning or alcohol.

You and your fiance should have the wedding that would make you comfortable and enjoyable you answered your own question when you said you or your boyfriend and your family don't like to dance.

Most receptions are 4-5 hours but since you are not having dancing you can get away with a 3-4 hour reception and yes if you keep the reception in a shorter range there is no need for the dancing you can even have a reception with finger sandwiches and cake a wedding does not have to be formal and expensive in order to be meaningful and special.

You are very practical and sensible I applaud you and give you credit for being down to earth and realizing the reception does not have to be overdone:)

Answer 3

Absolutely but just because you don't dance, you might still consider nice background music as it does cut down on noise and it gives a nice atmosphere. Don't get a room/hall that is so big that there is a dance floor area. If you do, people will think there's a dance and then be wondering when the dance music is starting. If you have a smaller room with tables scattered all over, and then just listening background music, people will mingle and talk. You'll want to have a great MC on hand to keep the event going well, and, of course, soon as you and your groom walk around to each table and say your personal thank you's, you both can go to the microphone, thank everyone for coming, say that you are on your way now, but that you hope they talk and enjoy themselves as long as they wish. then leave. They'll either hang around or leave for other spots to party. You're right on the money when you suggest keeping the event short and sweet! And, by the way, alcohol is NEVER mandatory. We've been to loads of receptions where religion forbade alcohol being served. People who wanted alcohol partied afterwards but no one grumbled. One solution though, if you wish to be a gracious host for family members who do enjoy a stronger drink, is to have a no-host bar. You supply free fruit punch and/or pop/bottled water at one table, and the ones who drink pay for their own at another spot. If the reception is just a meal, a few speeches, and the bouquet toss - like a couple of hours maximum, just put a sparkly fruit punch together and have the waiters serve it in champagne glasses at the tables for the toast to you both!

Answer 4

Hi and congratulations!

I agree with everyone else that has posted.....you can do what YOU want...it's YOUR wedding....so you make the rules!

You have LOTS of options, as far as I'm concerned.

1. You can have the traditional dinner/buffet without alcohol. That is perfectly acceptable. I agree with the others that have posted, you may want to have SOME kind of music. Either an ipod playing soft music, or perhaps a live quartet or trio. You don't need to have dancing in order to have music.

2. You can do a very simple reception. Have your wedding later at night and simply have a dessert reception.

3. Have a morning wedding with a brunch or lunch reception. No one needs music OR alcohol at a lunch or brunch. This would also be very different. I have gone to a few and I absolutely LOVED them!

4. Whatever kind of reception you have, you can also play a dvd with pictures of you and your fiance from infancy on up! I have been to a few receptions where this was done and it's very nice. Look up local places that can do this for you.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Hi! Great question!

I am getting married in December, and I hate how people are when they're drunk. Plus, I don't want the added responsibility of a whole load of people who can't drive home at the wedding, so we're simply having champagne for the toasts and that's it for the alcohol.

I wouldn't go with no music. It's fine if people don't dance, but at least put some easy-listening music on. I went to my cousin's wedding earlier this year, and his wife didn't even walk down the isle to music. The whole thing just lacked some thing, because there was no music at all, even during the dinner. A nice dinner with some, say, Norah Jones in the background sounds perfect for a relaxing dinner party type reception.

Good Luck!

Answer 6

Just have a punch and cake reception. You can even put that on the reception card in the invitations. That way you can do the cake cutting ceremony and share dessert and punch.

You can also just have a dinner party with maybe some soft CD's playing in the background. I just coordinated a reception like this where they had a dinner buffet and just had mood music playing. The bride and groom did the first dance, but that was the only dancing they had. after dinner they cut the cake and dessert was served.

It was very simple, elegant and inexpensive. The main point is to socialize with your guests. It's your day so do it the way you want! Good luck!

One more thing, you may want to hire a classical trio or quartet to play while guests are dining, this sets a very elegant mood!

Answer 7

You can do whatever you want....but what would you do then? Just because you don't like to drink or dance doesn't mean your guests don't. If you don't have dancing....have an alternate activity so that the guests aren't just sitting during the reception. It sounds pretty boring without both!
We went to a wedding without dancing..so instead they had karaoke set up and a game area for people to gather and talk and play. Hardly anyone was playing games but at least they made an attempt.

Answer 8

I agree that you do not need alcohol for your wedding. But music, well, I would say that you should keep your options open. Just because you have music does not mean that you have to have a dance floor for dancing. You can hire a dj to play just back up music (or cocktail/dinner music). You could use an ipod and connect it with the a/v equipment supplied from your reception site. You can hire a string quartet or other live music band to play soft music throughout the dinner. Any of those options would help to set the tone of your reception. The worst thing that can happen at your party would be for everyone to be busy eating and for there to be silence. That is why I would at least recommend having an ipod loaded and playing nice dinner music.

As far as alcohol goes, as long as you have plenty of food and other beverages you should be fine. There is no rule that says you have to have an open bar or any alcohol at all for that matter.

Answer 9

Yes, its your wedding and you can chose how everything goes. I recently went to a wedding where the reception didn't have music/dj or alcohol and I personally thought it was classy... I don't drink so I didn't mind that and I am a terrible dancer so I didn't have a chance to embarass myself. It was very nice they had all the normal toasts, but one thing they added that took the place of the DJ was a slideshow with background music with pictures of the new couple. It was neat, they also had a raffle thing, to win movie tickets, dinner gift cards, etc. That was neat. Someone told me that not having alcohol was terrible, because inviting people to a wedding is giving them a night of entertainment, but who cares what other people think, its just a waste of money to get people drunk. I say do what you want and have fun with it. Congrats, and good luck.

Answer 10

Yes, but what will make it festive? What will make that meal more special than any other restaurant meal when people just sit around and chat, then go home? We really have no plans to dance either, but feel a dj is necessary to provide some music and create a more party atmosphere...you don't have to dance just because there is music playing. Also, even if you don't drink, how about a champagne or sparkling cider toast? You need something to make the reception feel like a celebration and not just an ordinary luncheon or whatever.

Answer 11

I'd recommend at least considering music of some sort, for atmosphere. As far as no alcohol, great! I think a good alternate would be a coffee bar. Even if you're going informal (i.e. finger foods or just cake and punch) on the reception, if you get different flavored creamers, sugars, and (if you have someone to operate it) you could use an espresso machine. (Can you tell I love coffee?).

If you want NO alcohol, make sure you have Martinelli's instead of Champagne for the toast!

Congrats & good luck.