So here's the deal. I was dating this guy for two years. We were supposed to get married in December. We broke up about 3 months ago b/c of my mom (can be overbearing) he says and if we were meant to be we will end up back together....w/e...
Ever since he and I broke up, he's been calling me about the most random things (i.e. Are you going to homecoming (we both graduated from the same university), how's your mom, did I leave something at your apartment---he did leave a whole bunch of crap in my apartment like dvd's, clothes, etc.
He asks me why I don't call him, do I still love him, blah blah blah... I got a call today, and he said he's been dating someone else...However, he claims that he doesn't want to date her and he really wants to get married and have kids...He asked me, if still being in love with me and missing me counts for anything. I said no...
Tell me ...what do you think is his angle/what do you think about the situation and how would you handle it...?
2007-10-24 10:27:42 · 27 answers · asked by Nemos Mom 2.2.10 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He also ask if we could be friends but right now I want to be by myself...for a long time
2007-10-24 10:28:47 · update #1
Time for you to cut ties with him completely.
Send him a registered letter (return receipt requested) stating that he has left property in your home and that it will be donated to Goodwill if not picked up by 5 p.m. on (insert a date 30 days from the date of the letter). This protects you if he doesn't pick up his crap. Other than coordinating the return of his stuff, you owe him no further conversation.
His angle is that he won't face facts.
2007-10-24 10:33:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats simple. He was ok with the break up because he thought you would come crawling back, and he could have the upper hand. When you didn't, and you were ok with breaking up, he didn't like that at all. He left stuff at your place so that he could have a connection to you. He calls you about random things because he is lonely, and realizes what an idiot he is for letting you go, and not fighting harder for you when you broke up.
Mr. Macho said he was cool about breaking up, cuz I got a new girlfriend anyway. When he realized you didn't care, he then couldn't admit that he was lying about the new girl friend, so he just says I really dont want her, I want you.
I think he is a controllling, manipulative, creep, that is lying to you now, and will lie to you in the future as well. I think you MUST take this chance to get rid of him now. Let him beg you to take him back. If you do go back with him, at least he'll learn a lesson that he cant just do what he wants, when he wants it, cuz you will not tolerate it, and you will leave.
If you do go back with him later, you will enjoy the upper hand
2007-10-24 10:39:08 · answer #2 · answered by maplewoodjoe 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he wants to get back together. Pack all of his stuff up and put in front of your door. Text or call him first to let him know you are doing so, so that he can come and pick it up. That way he can't call or text you asking about his stuff because it will all be back in his possession.
If he really wants to be married and have a family then he wouldn't of broken off the engagement to begin with. I understand what a pain mothers can be ... but unfortunately most people don't get along with their mom-in-laws anyway.
If you are really done with this dude and really don't want him in your life at all, stop answering his call and texts, stop talking to him, don't see him, just let it go. I know that is easier said then done but sometimes it is what needs to be done.
2007-10-24 10:38:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you think that this girl still has feelings for you and you still want her just prove that you are the better guy. don't let your self fall into a depression or you will lose for sure. don't involve your mutual friends anymore the best revenge is to do better than the people who hurt you. I always say that exercise is the cure all for anything just work out play hard show her what she is going to be missing out on. If she chooses this guy she will regret it and at least you can find comfort in that.
2016-05-25 14:09:58 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is what it is. He wants to get back together and get married. If you have no intention of ever getting back with him, tell him straight out. Otherwise you may be stringing him along. In his mind right now, he is thinking there still may be a future. Do the guy a favor and tell him the truth so he can move forward in his life. Even if it does hurt him.
I would much rather someone be honest with me.
2007-10-24 10:33:19 · answer #5 · answered by lefttheroom222 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now you are saying that becuase you are hurt..And I do understand.. I've been there and been through that.. You really do love him and you really do want to be with him, but you have to play that HARD role sometimes just to see where his mind is at... Don't answer his calls... He said if it's meant to be then ya'll will be back where you were.. Well let him make that happen.. Let him worry and see how it feels to not have you in his life.... Let him be concerned... I know it may be hard.. And the Azz hole knew that he left his stuff at the apt....He's just trying to get you to converse with him.....Don't fall for that! LOL.... Seriously work on you and try not to concentrate on him..
2007-10-24 10:35:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK, here's what you do. Pack up all his sh%t and put it in a big box and mail it to him. Tell him to leave you alone for the time being. If he truly cares about you, he will respect your wishes. It is wrong of him to jerk you around and call about the most stupid things, and then start dating someone else!!!!??? You need some perspective, and that only comes with time and space. Good luck.
2007-10-24 10:33:38 · answer #7 · answered by Bella 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I always think out of sight, out of mind. Just be busy, take up a hobby if you have time. Gather his things together, hand them over to a friend who could then hold them for your ex. make out a list of pros and cons, see where you get the most marks out of each and then think about if you really want to go thru the hassle of a relationship. Sometimes it's good to be by yourself for a while, to see what things make you happy, sad, excited or upset. such as maybe on weekends you want to go explore musuems or travel around your town. Find some ground to get yourself ready the next time you want to date and find your real match. Good luck.
2007-10-24 10:44:23 · answer #8 · answered by werlecar 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Right now he wants to keep his foot in the door. As far as getting married, him not be able to handle your mom was just an excuse for having cold feet. I don't know how old the both of you are, but I would get on with my life without him. Geez . . . how would he handle real pressure? Good luck!
2007-10-24 10:35:17 · answer #9 · answered by peaches6 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably wants to see if you are open to eventually taking him back, if he decides that is what he wants to do in the future. It's like leaving a foot in the door, so to speak. He wants to keep you as an option in case whatever things don't work out with other women he goes out with. Kind of a sad position to put you in, like something to fall back on.
2007-10-24 10:31:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋