It looks like he's getting cold feet and ready to back out of this. I don't want him to leave me at the alter so should I just call off the wedding?
2007-10-24 10:23:31 · 16 answers · asked by JuDyLicious 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
end it, you know i have been waiting for you
2007-10-24 19:42:58 · answer #1 · answered by Good Ol' Gary Shanty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1
2016-12-23 05:30:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do without losing him completely is to be understanding at this point. Don't throw any ultimatums at him. Truth is, if you force him to marry you, by guilt or any other strong emotion, it won't be a happy marriage. Don't make any sudden desicions such as calling off the wedding completely. Maybe just renegociate on a new date further away to help ease the tension. He may actually find that when the nerves pass he wants to push the date back up.
Everyone gets nervous before making such a huge commitment. Some feel it more than others. Just be there for him now to show you can be there for him in marriage years down the road.
Best of luck.
2007-10-24 10:31:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
SIt down & really find out the deal. Get some counseling. Try to come to a conclusion on whether or not he is scared about the ceremony or questioning his relationship with you.
Guys get worked up about the ceremony a lot! They are afraid they will say the wrong words, move at the wrong time, drop the ring, etc. This is totally normal!
If he is doubting your relationship or his love for you, that's totally different! Counseling may help. You need to tell him that he really needs to be honest with you now! Even though you don't want to go through with it and have it end in divorce or have him resent you, you certainly don't want to wait til the day before to cancel! Cancelling a wedding is a pain in the butt, but if you do it months in advance, it is definitely easier!
2007-10-24 10:35:06 · answer #4 · answered by valschmal 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
First, it is normal to be nervous and have cold feet. However, it is also a good idea, if either person has any serious doubts, to hold off the marriage. As for living in two different states, that probably won't work very well. Why don't you just wait until you are both ready. Then, you will both be happier and able to share a wonderful, confident marriage. Good Luck!
2016-03-13 09:14:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move through this slowly. Be grateful that he told you now instead of after the wedding. You might want to consider moving your wedding date depending on how he feels. Personally, my fiance and I can't wait to be married and aren't nervous about it at all. This could be your fiance's way of telling you he needs more time and that he can't do this. It's not really a good sign, I hate to say. Just give him time though. If it turns out it wasn't meant to be, at least you know now.
2007-10-24 10:47:36 · answer #6 · answered by Rockit 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Here's another vote for counseling. Don't do anything drastic right now - you may regret it. The most important thing to figure out is why he feels the way he does. Is he unsure of your relationship? Is he nervous about the whole concept of marriage? Does that level of commitment to *anyone* scare the snot out of him? A licensed counselor could help you sort that out. Just be prepared for any possible outcome. In any case, you're much better off to know about these issues before the wedding rather than after.
I truly wish you the best.
2007-10-24 11:10:13 · answer #7 · answered by SE 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask him if he wants to postpone it. This will show him you value his feelings and don't want to push him into it if he doesn't want to do it. That alone could be all the assurance he needs.
It may be cold feet, or he may really be reconsidering. Be prepared for either -- if he doesn't want to get married after all, it will be painful for you, but it's better that you and he address it NOW than 5 years down the road.
Good luck to you.
2007-10-24 10:35:14 · answer #8 · answered by War Games AM 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Definitely sit down and have a rational conversation. Don't attack him and try not to get upset. Find out what it is that he's afraid of. Maybe you need counselling. Try to be understanding of his fears. I don't know how much planning you've done, but maybe extend the engagment longer so he can try to deal with whatever his concerns are. Ultimately though, listen to your heart. If it doesn't feel right, don't walk down that aisle.
Good luck.
2007-10-24 11:44:58 · answer #9 · answered by Celtic-Candy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Take things one thing at a time. Don't do a lot of planning just yet, but you guys do need to talk!! Maybe see some professional help just to get things out in the air. ( Churches do this as a precaution anyways )
Good Luck...and look on the bright side of things!!
2007-10-24 10:30:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and talk about it and see if you can work it out now or not. It is better to decide now, that will save the embarassment of being dumped at the alter or worse divorce.
Sit down and talk it out- if you can work through it that that is super- if not then you are better off knowing now than in 5 years that it won't work out. Someone better will come along.
2007-10-24 12:17:49 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋