atheists and christians?

Question

my boyfrind of 2 years is an atheist, and i am a christian. he always asked (no, i never brought it up) about what i believe and why. after a year he started going to church with me.
A few months ago his best friend since kindergarden did something horrible. The girl this guy was dating was a freak and had him end his old friendships. he did it over voicemail and the message was so bad my bf cried. He said my boyfriend was going to hell, was a *******loser, deserved to die, and that God was going to "strike him down" ect. They havent spoken since.
My bf has never gone to church since, and gets angry when i bring it up. He also decided he is an atheist again.
How do I explain that real Christians would never do that? How can I help him heal from that?

Bongernet you have no idea what he ( and I) went through. What ive told you is just one incident over several months, and by far not the worst.

Also, talking about "light" and "darkness" dont mix. I understand what u mean. But, i would rather date him than any of the guys at my church. He never asks me to do anything that would interfere with what i believe.

oh, what I mean by fake/real christians is this:
fake christians call themselves christians, but they actually dont give dam ab it.
real christians make lots of mistakes ( we all do!) but they care ab it and try.

And i made a boo-boo and was unclear ab something. I havent been trying to talk ab him going to church, Ive been trying to talk to him ab what happened. Sry, my bad. that was unclear.

Answer 1

That is horrific! The only way to pick up the pieces from this devastation your bf has endured is to demonstrate how a true Christian is supposed to act. Let him know that what his bf did was choose this girl over him, and did so in a way to make it final. Recognize his hurt, and possible grieving, a relationship resulting in this way is similar to actual death. He is angry, and mourning, clearly he needs time to heal if this just happened. Continue to go to church, Kathy, let him know how much you miss him accompanying you, try praying with him, asking God to take away this hurt he is feeling. Continue to be a dedicated Christian, Kathy, by praying for and loving your bf. Let your Christian lifestyle speak for itself, and your bf will surely come around. Many blessings to you, sister.

Answer 2

I would lay off on the church thing for a while. It would be one thing if you two were engaged to be married, discussing which religion (if any) to raise the kids, etc. But for right now, don't shove religion down his throat.

Instead, I've found that people respond better to actions, as opposed to lectures or verbal suggestions. Just be a caring, loving girlfriend who just happens to be Christian. I promise, he may not say anything, but your behavior will strike a chord within him.

As far as the friend goes, well that's something those two are going to have to work out for themselves. His friend sounds like a loser though, to be so easily manipulated by someone else. Just give him the support he needs, be there if he wants to talk, and keep going to church - even if you're alone. Lead by example.

Good luck!

Answer 3

If the girl made the guy do it, it's probably better to explain that the woman he's with is a crazy controlling nutjob. That hopefully he'll have his friend back, but it seems that he's letting this woman run (and ruin) his life right now.

I'm sure the loss of his old friend probably hurts more then the Christian thing. Although if it was the basis of it, being a part of the religion may just make him think too much about this incident.

P.S. I wouldn't encourage him to forget about his friend...this guy may eventually need him to help pull himself our of the grasp of this woman. And when everyone else leaves, sometimes old true friends are all a person has.

Answer 4

Kathy,

Sorry to hear you are going through tough experiences with friends, it can be very painful.

I suggest, letting him thing through things for a while. I know when I am hurt by friends and family, the last thing I want my wife to do is 'talk' to me about it. It is just a guy thing.

Usually when I have had enough time to think things through, I come out of my shell and open up a little more.

Unfortunately the actions of your friends are not all that uncommon, and your boyfriend may have a pretty good point.

Answer 5

Many of the Christians whom I've encountered who would talk like that- don't deserve friends. I CERTAINLY would never befriend someone like that, and would avoid a person like that at all costs.

Many Christians DO act this way. Real Christians.

I'm certainly not saying all- most of my friends ARE Christians. They're real Christians too.

Just because a person is Christian, doesn't mean they don't do horrible things sometimes (ahem... forgiveness really comes into play here). The things a person repents for hold little to do with their status of "real" Christian or not. Many churches would CONDONE this type of behavior. I'm not kidding.

Christians are Christians. One sect of Christians is no more or less valid than the next. From the most peaceful, loving sects right down to the Westboro Baptists... They're still Christians. In other words- there IS an ugly side to all of that. Like it or not, you just witnessed it.

Answer 6

Show him what a true Christian is like by your actions and love. This is a good verse for you even though you are not married:
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. 1 Peter 3:1-4

Be very careful about getting serious or marrying someone who does not have the same core belief system as you. Love can cover it but you will have much sorrow and heartache from not being able to share your love of Christ with the man you love the most.

Answer 7

You do not explain that real Christians would never do that because clearly real Christians have. Remember Christians proud proclaim their identity: They are sinners who claim to have been saved by the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. Therefore they can lie, steal, cheat, threaten, terrorize, hate, destroy, stress and alienate all they like and at the end of the day Christians believe their sins are forgiven. Christians leaders perpetrate a fraud in order to be able to make threats against the life and or afterlife of anybody who does not submit to their authority and to extort tithes and offerings from communities of faithful believers. He will likely be threatened him again when a member of a community of faithful believers doesn't like the way he chooses to behave.

You both need to heal from this. You can start by rejecting the myth that liars claim is truth. Stop devoting your energy, space and time to religious leaders that go into business repeating the lie that myth is truth until their fraud and extortion operations become successful because the lie is believed by enough people. Start devoting your energy, space and time to religious leaders that go into the business of accepting the truth that myth is myth and converge upon the one myth out of all possible the enables us to have the highest esteem of self and world that we can possibly imagine. Learn to build a model of self and world with myth and truth that best produces happiness and good health

Answer 8

Find scripture to back up whatever you tell him. Show him where God detest so called Christians like that. Show him how a true Christian is to embrace even the lowliest of sinners and help them in any way possible. Everything that his friend that is not of God, find scripture to confirm that what he experienced was not at all Christ-like and that he should be the bigger man and set a much better example of a Christian than his friend. He'll soon see that he'll respect himself much more to know that he isn't the anus that his friend has turned into.

Answer 9

Tell him that to be a Christian you must lose somethings and gain greater goods. For example you need to go through great sufferings to win great victories. Do not forget that Jesus died for us and suffered greater then anyone else, even HE was insulted! Remember He said those who persecuted me will persecute you also. What ever you have on this is earth you will lose when you go to the heavens above. Be more focused up there then down here! Good luck! Remember the Lord chooses those in whom will believe in Him not the person.

Answer 10

i will hate an atheists strategies-set(s) approximately what i've got faith in a spiritual putting, yet on the turn-component, that atheist and that i would be ardent allies politically. As for hating a man or woman in the coolest purchase of the which ability of that element era, I have no choose to hate all people. that variety of hatred is for losers era.