How do I say "I love you" to someone when I am not sure how he feels?

Question

I have been seeing this guy for quite a while, and I want to tell him I love him. I am really not sure how he feels about me so I don't expect him to say it back. I don't want to create an awkward moment with him, and I want to say it in a way where he would not feel pressure to say it back. We talk a lot via text and Yahoo IM. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

You could say something like, you know I love you, right? That is not quite so much pressure. He can say "Yeah, I knew" without having to show all his cards. Then if he feels ready, he can say the same. Good luck. I had a girl breakup with me over this.

Answer 2

You say you've been seeing him for quite a while now. If he hasn't made any moves on you so far, it could either be, that he's still not sure that he loves you, or that he is not sure you feel the same way and is scared to be rejected. Why don't you invite him to watch a scary movie with you and in the movie house you can hold his hand and make him feel that you feel safe with him around. If he responds by not taking his hand away, you can take the next step and cuddle up to him. Believe me, if he does feel anything at all for you, he will take the initiative after that and then you can go ahead and tell him what you feel. Maybe you will come out from the movie house with a boyfriend in tow. Good luck!

Answer 3

In any relationship the first time one person says I Love You is awkward. You just have to gather up your nerves and say it. Shouldn't be a problem if the 2 of you have been in a relationship for a while.

I'll try to give you a couple ideas.

1. If you are really having a difficult time gathering the nerves to say it, try saying it to him at a point where the 2 of you are seperating. Like when you are going home for the evening, or going to work or school, etc. Say it just before you walk out the door.

2. I don't recommend it, but say it first in writing. An e-mail or a text message, this will help you stay calm enough to eventually say it in person.

3. Try it when the 2 of you are distracted by something else. For example the 2 of you are cudled up on the couch watching a movie together. With you laying on his lap, just say I LOVE YOU, and go back to watching the movie.

I also liked someone elses response in saying it when he is doing somethign goofy, as in saying it as part of a laugh towards him.

Answer 4

Saying "I love you" out of the blue without prior discussion might lead to an awkward moment. I would say "I really care about you" and "I hope you feel like I do about this relationship". And when he asks what do you mean or how do you feel..."I have hope for this relationship to keep growing". If he wants to keep it going or has been hesitant to say something as you have, you now give him the opportunity to say it first. If he is not interested in it growing further, he'll probably say things like "take it easy" or "slow down" or something like that. At least this way you'll have an idea without wishing you had not said those three little words first.

Answer 5

Throw caution to the wind, and just say it. If it is ackward, then it is what it is. at least you'll know where he is coming from.

If you want, do it while you are using IM. Then he doesn't have to face you, if he doesn't feel the same way, or can find some other excuse to cut the conversation short.

You might try it in a foreign language like French, I think it is something like Je'tem. It has been some time since I took French. (got a F in it anyway)
good luck.

Answer 6

I'd suggest waiting for him to say it. Gals who say it first tend to make a guy feel pressured.

You'll likely get a lot of responses from guys saying they wish gals would speak up first, but I have known plenty of guys who would freak if the gal said it and he wasn't thinking seriously about the relationship or they just weren't ready to "commit" to that much. Just be who you are. If things are meant to be, things will be fine. If not, then it's going to be OK. I've been in love many times. It won't be the end of the world if this isn't "the one". Just be patient and let the guy take the lead on this one.

Answer 7

Say it in person, and say it with no strings. IM chat is nice but does not properly convey true feelings because the all-important "body language" part is missing. It's best to say it while looking into his eyes so he can really tell you mean it. All love entails some risk to it, and even if he doesn't love you back right now, the resolution of the indecision you're feeling now would still be worth the risk you take by saying it.

Answer 8

Personally, maybe I'm old fashioned, but I would wait until he said "I love you" first. A lot of times guys get scared off by those words as well as the words "marriage" and "commitment", or "where is this going?". I know you're only asking about "I love you," but your smiles and little things you do will say a lot about how you feel. Good luck and take care.

Answer 9

Just say it or give her a card and explain that you don't expect him to say it back if he is unsure (in a romantic way of course). That'll take the pressure off him. If he looks undecided or doesn't know how to answer just kiss him and leave it at that. Sometimes we need to let things simmer a little bit. You don't want to force him to say something he doesn't mean.

Answer 10

Don't make a fool of yourself. Wait until he's doing something dappy or silly that is quite typical behaviour, worthy of a laugh and say fondly "Oh I do love you!". It's a softly softly approach, lets him know how much you think of him and doesn't need an answer as you're both laughing about the daft thing he's done.