I was adopted at age 5 and now my mom keeps bothering?

Question

ok everytime i try to make a relationship she not there and if i try to forget her she calls me after waiting 6 months or so and it is confusing me and pissing me off all at the same time i cant understand what is in her head and i dont like being upset all the time first off she gave me up for a man drunk and they both was drunks and she kept 4 kids and gave up 2 and now all i feel i want is to forget her but it is hard when she keeps popping up all the time and pissing me off. there was not long ago when she was leaving she was laughing and then made a comment ill call ya if i rember that not nice to say to a daughter you gave up and my question is what should i do how should i get rid of this lady i dont even want to know any longer. and will it upset me to stop completly by ending it.

i am now 39 years old so not a child........but, the child is still inside of course.....thanks for trying.....try to be honest and not lie or joke ok.....

Answer 1

Pray that your mom finds Jesus and put it in the lords hands is all you can do, he will work this out in his own way just trust in him..

Answer 2

Ok, well the bad part is that she is always going to be your mother whether you want it or like it. My Mother and I have never really seen eye to eye, but at a distance the bond is still there. If she keeps manipulating you and hurting you, then you should leave her alone if you have already told her how she makes you feel and she doesn't try to change, then yes walk away. Just remember that it will probably def hurt you in the long run, because it's hard to deal with that bond semi broken. However, pondering on her past is not going to help and blaming her for everything will never get you or her anywhere. I would just let her come around when she "can", and call when she wants. Let her put forth the effort and when she sees that you aren't really trying anymore, and she's sitting at home lonely one day, she might come around. Sorry, this sucks I know, but Good Luck.

Answer 3

You didn't sat how old you are now. If an adult you can tell her to not contact you again. You can also get a court order if she harasses you.
My thoughts are that ending the contact by your decision will allow you to not feel badly later. My dad lived in my hometown and was a very prominent figure ion the community yet he seldom saw us kids. Many times he would call to say he was getting us then never show up. I finally came to terms by deciding he was the one missing out. In the end I was right. After he was diagnosed with a terminal condition he wanted to have a relationship with us. I said no and didn't feel badly.

Your adopted parents can help you I'm sure. Tell them how you feel about this woman and get her out of your life. You owe her nothing and your adopted parents everything.

Answer 4

It sounds like she is still toxic, still a drunk on top of it, and about as bright as a bag of diapers. That's not something you need in your life.

She is being abusive to you, and she does not have the right to do that.

Tell her you no longer wish to have contact with her, and then don't. Don't take her calls, if she comes over, do not answer the door but just yell through the door for her to leave, and if this continues, get a restraining order out on her.

You could get a book called Toxic Parents or something like that at the library or ask them to get it in for you so you can read it if they don't have it.

You could also go to AA meetings, the ones for children of alcoholic parents, to get a good handle on how to deal with this. Call up the nearest AA center and ask them what kind of meeting you could go to, they have ones just for that, even for grown children of alcoholics. They can help you keep her out of your life, teach you what to do about it.

Answer 5

I am sorry this has happened to you and how dare her say that to you (about if she remembers). What does your mom (your real mom (adopted)) say about this? If I were your mom and she kept bothering you and you didn't like it I would step in and take care of it for you. Will she not tell her to leave you alone? Maybe you should get your phone number changed, and if she shows up to your house tell her to leave or you will call the police for harassment. Cuss her out and tell her off, tell her exactly how her actions have made you feel and that she can go to H**L!

Answer 6

That's sad! Well I would just tell her she gave you up so now she is not your mother. Tell her to leave you alone because she is hurting you more than anything. You don't have to deal with this. It may bother you for a while but I am sure you will get over it and be fine because you went most of your life without her anyways and you have a loving family. good luck with this. God Bless!

Answer 7

Everyone gets upset with their mother, but for you it would be worse, because of her giving you up, and then acting so bad. You have to ask yourself, Will my life be better with, or without her? Be honest. If your life would be better without her, then tell her that she is not the mother youwhere hoping to find, and that you have decided to adopt her out, until she can treat you with some respect, and if she can't , then you will go about your life without as you once did.

Answer 8

My mom was very, very much like yours before she died. I learned that my mother is a person before she is my mother. You don't always get along with everyone and just because someone is your mother doesn't mean you will get along with her. If you can accept her for who she is, your relationship with her will get better. Once you accept her, the things that she says or does will not affect you as much as time passes because you will already expect her to...well be her. Acceptance will help you to heal over and deal with your mother.

Answer 9

First let me say, punctuation is good when writing a lot.

That being said, I would just cut her off. If you really don't have any love for her, then don't waste your time or hers. Just stop responding to her calls, stop calling her, and tell yourself, "If she ever grows up, I'll give it a try. But she's got to try to grow up first."

Answer 10

You need to tell her you don't want her in your life. She's behaving like a selfish child. Toying with someone's emotions is cruel. Move on and realize how lucky you are that you didn't spend all of your years with someone that immature.