im getting married soon and we ask family members if they would like to be a part of it by giving us a lil $$$ to have a big wedding, but i dont know how to ask my family members i dont know when is the exact time to collect $$$ the wedding is in april and im not pretty sure of how many people i can count on? does anyone get my?
2007-10-24 08:54:14 · 30 answers · asked by jessyka_g 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You're a big girl, pay for it yourself. It is no one's job in today's society for weddings to be paid for by anyone but you and your fiance.
If you're mature enough to get married, you're mature enough to fund it yourself.
2007-10-24 08:58:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 14⤊ 0⤋
You should only have the wedding that you can afford. So, if you have a big family but can't afford a big wedding you may need to cut some corners like having a Friday or Sunday wedding or just having cocktails and appetizers at your reception (just a suggestion). I've never heard of anyone asking family other than parents for money towards a wedding. Unless your family is like that and won't mind I don't think that people will appreciate being asked for money for "your" wedding. Also, you don't want to have to depend on Aunt and Uncle whoever for money for your cake or your dj. Just do what you can afford. Good Luck.
2007-10-24 09:21:54 · answer #2 · answered by cunnitr 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'll probably get a lot of thumbs down...but in our family is a tradition that each family member pays for a certain part of another family members wedding. Not everyone participates monetarily, but almost the whole family gets involved. Example: We had brisket at our wedding so several family members purchase a brisket for us. The flowers and centerpieces were done by aunts and my mom. My mother and father bought my dress. My hubbys mother and stepdad paid for the DJ. And so on...those that were able to help asked what type of things we still needed and either gave us the money to get it ourselves or went and got if for us....Me and my hubby ended up paying for our marriage license, our rings, and our pictures....Everything else was generously provided to us by our families. No one seemed to complain and there was no set limit on how much each person contributed. We even got gifts from some of those who had helped out although it was not necessary...There help and presence was gift enough for us.
If you are going to do this...just let everyone know that if they would be interested in helping with the wedding, it would be most welcomed and don't have a set amount. I think telling each person how much the are REQUIRED to give is rather rude. My hubby's family does this all the time and we are always being told we need to dish out X amount of money for one event or another. If they don't contribute don't be to upset...just be thankful for anything you get...Don't turn into a Bride-zilla about it.
2007-10-24 09:14:00 · answer #3 · answered by !s@b3l@ 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
How you ask is, you don't.
If you ask anyone in your family for money so you can have a big wedding, they will think less of you.
Like you are selling advertising space?
One of the tests as to whether you are mature enough to be married is: You can afford a wedding you pay for yourself. Why more people don't get this, is a mystery.
2007-10-24 09:22:33 · answer #4 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I get your question, you want to ask your family members if they'll pony up to give you the big wedding like the ones you see on tv.
First off, you should ONLY ask that question of your parents, and your fiance's parents. Anyone else should be flat out offended if you ask them for cash to be a part of your wedding. I'm sure they'll pass, and then laugh at your obvious poor manners.
And, if you can't afford to have the wedding like the ones you see on tv, then do without it. The most important thing is the marriage, right? It's being with the man you love for the rest of your life, right? It's not about being the center of attention for a day.
You also have time to save up extra money, get a 2nd job and earn extra money--novel thought, I realize. The holiday season is coming up, retailers are hiring seasonal, temporary help from now until the end of the year, and into the first of next year. That's how my brother and his wife paid for their wedding, they each got a 2nd job, and put those earnings towards wedding expenses, and paid for the whole thing themselves.
If you can't pay for it yourself, and your parents won't/can't give you any money for wedding expenses, then have a smaller wedding, or don't do it at all. Money issues are one of the main reasons people divorce.
2007-10-24 09:14:13 · answer #5 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
When you became engaged if your parents offered to pay for some or part of your wedding- then it is OK to count on them for some help.
If you are asking your family members for money- by telling them they can "be a part of your wedding"- because you want a big wedding- why that is downright tasteless, tacky, and rude. You should be ashamed of yourself!
Only have a wedding that you and your fiance can afford. If you can not pay for it then you do not need it.
2007-10-24 09:09:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend who had a "Stag Party" in place of a bridal shower. It was held at a local restaurant. Instead of gifts...they asked that each person pay a $25 cover charge to get in. $10 went to the restaurant and $15 went to their wedding fund.
I thought it was tacky as all hell!
You should NEVER ask for money for a wedding. If you can't pay for it yourselves and/or with the money others have offered... then you need to cut some corners until you can afford the wedding yourselves. Your other option is to put it off completely until you can afford it. Sorry for being so honest, but the reality is that asking for money for your wedding is in really poor taste.
2007-10-24 09:05:46 · answer #7 · answered by Kim 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
You can't be serious! How scummy is that? Maybe you should postpone the wedding until you get a job. If your parents can't afford the wedding you want, and you can 't afford the wedding you want, have the wedding you can afford, embrace it and be happy with it.
You family is not obligted to GIVE you money for your wedding. If they give you money as a wedding gift, you can put it toward the debt you'll go into to have a 'big' wedding.
2007-10-24 12:23:18 · answer #8 · answered by Asked and Answered 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The only people you can count on is your fiance & yourself for certain. People are getting married later & life and most of the time the Parents are already retired and on a fixed income. Back when it was decided the Bride's parents pay was when you were getting married fresh out of High School & didn't have a stable FT job.
To me...it's gift enough that all the family will be together & looking sharp. :)
2007-10-24 09:14:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tacky. Rude.Crass.Selfish.Improper. If you are old enough to get married, you should be old enough to cover the cost yourself. If your parents make an offer, sure, you can accept nicely and ask them what they would like to pay for. But, meanwhile, you just see what YOU CAN AFFORD YOURSELF and start planning. If you're broke, you are not entitled to a huge wedding. Make sure you show your folks the plans and then MAYBE someone MIGHT offer to pay for the cake, or the flowers. You should not be asking people for money for a wedding you can't afford.
2007-10-24 09:07:58 · answer #10 · answered by Wifeforlife 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Asking people for money for your wedding is tacky and in bad form. If you want a big wedding, pay for it yourself. If you can't afford it, consider a smaller, more intimate affair...a wedding without all the bells and whistles can still be just as awesome as a huge wedding.
2007-10-24 10:38:17 · answer #11 · answered by War Games AM 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋