Several social anxiety / phobia - Don't wanna be this way anymore, but don't trust conventional medicine/ Drs.

Question

I've had severe social anxiety for almost 10 years now and it was triggered by a really rude comment a co-worker made while I was at work. The anxiety started then and it's gotten progressively worse. It's gotten to the point where I don't even answer my front door anymore. I'm married, but I met my husband before I had the severe anxiety and I was a whole different person, I was fun and outgoing and worked outside the home, (at the job where I got the rude comment). We were just friends then and I had a boyfriend at the time, he wasn't seeing anyone. Anyways, 4 years later, my boyfriend at the time and I had broken up, due to the severe anxiety, and my now husband and I ran into each other. I already had the severe anxiety too. We talked just a lil and exchanged phone #s. I told him about the anxiety by phone & he said we could take our relationship as slow as I wanted and that he wanted to help. Well a couple months later I felt comfortable enuf to start going out, (more below)

sorry ran outta room above, i'm adding the rest of it now, so if you have time, please wait a few mins then read on ....

so as I was saying a couple months passed and i felt comforatable enuf with him to start going places like the park, and zoo with him and even to stores shopping as long as it wasn't packed. I feel totally comfortable around him now and I have no anxiety being around him or my close family members like parents and brothers, but anyone else I still have the severe anxiety. Even my old friends, who I quit going to visit or call when I got the severe anxiety. Was too embarrassed to tell them about it and honestly don't want anyone to know I have it. So it's been almost 10 years now since I've lived with the anxiety but it's not getting any better and actually I think it's getting worse as like I mentioned above, it's gotten to the point where i don't even answer my own front door anymore. I have gone to see a couple of doctors but what they've prescribed for the anxeity (Zoloft and Celexa?) hasn't helped at all. What else should I try or do? Are there good natural remedies for this?

Answer 1

I'm glad you've been feeling a little better, but the first thing is that even though I'm sure you know in your sensibilities that you should not let this coworker have taken away your sense of security, your brain sent signals that perhaps caused a sort of post traumatic stress.
There are herbal remedies that you can try, rather than taking any prescription meds. Try looking up Kava Kava, Valerian, Chamomile, California poppy...
Oh heck! Let me give you a website that has been helpful for me finding herbs that have worked.
I do hope you can find some help. I lived through something similar for a few years until a sought the help of a psychologist. At the same time, I was taking several of these herbs.
Best to you!!!! Take care!

Answer 2

You need to GO TO A REAL MEDICAL DOCTOR! and ask for a referral to a psychiatrist who will give you medication to help adjust your brain chemistry that has been out of whack for at least 10 years and has probably led to all kinds of somatizing physical illnessness that can then lead to life-threatening illnesses (like cancer and heart disease) because of the effect of stress on the body. You probably have lived in this condition for so long that you don't know what it is to feel normal, healthy, and happy anymore.

The physician probably will also recommend behaviorial therapy (or some kind of talk-based counseling with a psychiatrist, psychologist, or psychiatric social worker).

You can help strengthen youR nervous system in concert with REAL MEDICAL CARE by practicing aerobic exercises and breathing exercises (kundalini yoga worked wonders for me years ago--yeah, I had anxiety disorder for years, too).

There are self-help tapes (and books out there)--for example the early work of Angela Bassett, that may be useful, as well.

Finally, you have to be highly committed to getting well. Otherwise, the medical term for people who don't seek proper treatment because they get secondary benefits from their maladaptive behavior is called "malingerers."

Be a survivor; don't be a malingerer.

Answer 3

STAY AWAY FROM ANTIDEPRESSANTS THEY WILL CAUSE YOU MORE TROUBLE THAN GOOD. I suffer from bdd and was put on anti depressants. They ruined my life , plus mom was put on them and they have destroyed everything for her too. Go to www.paxilprogress.org their alot of people there who have had horrible side effects because of these drugs. From paxil to prozac , lexapro etc. If you have something a goal or you love in life just focus on that stay away form the meds.

Answer 4

Acupuncture helped me when I had social anxiety. You don't say if you're seeing a therapist now. I think it would really help you to talk to a therapist you trust or would learn to trust and work on your issues with them. Best of luck!

Answer 5

smoke mary jane. i have a friend who used to be scared to go outside of her house. she started to smoke and then over time she made her way to the front yard. then she got in the car and you get the drift. anyway, it worked for her. maybe it will work for you.

Answer 6

One way we can set aside the stress and anxiety of having to deal with SAD is to have a creative outlet. This could be anything from drawing, painting or writing to making music or working on a personal homepage. If none of those are of interest to you, the internet is home to a wealth of information on other hobbies that you could begin to involve yourself with.
Remember that no one is "perfect"
If we all had penny for every time we stepped outside of a given situation and analyzed ourselves, we'd all probably be retired by now. One thing that we must keep in mind is that no one is perfect and that everyone has issues. Be it the actors and actresses that you see on TV, the musicians you hear on the radio or the guy or girl that you see in the halls every day that seem to always be on cloud 9 and hold the world in the palm of their hand. Granted there are others who are better at dealing with their insecurities than you or I, but we all have them! Everyone has made mistakes and everyone knows what it's like to do something so embarrassing that you just want to crawl in a hole. Once we're able to keep this in mind, the easier it will be for us all.

The world wouldn't be any fun if we all shuffled around like perfect little robots. So I say that our "shortcomings" give us character, not reason to hide! Embrace what makes you unique in this world and stand tall.

-Learn to laugh at yourself!
This goes hand and hand with the previous tip. It's common for those with SA to dwell on their mistakes more than others. We get so used to focusing on our shortcomings that it begins to take over our personality and we may lose track of who we really are. We may become reluctant to be outspoken or reserved in times of exuberance.

Countless comedians have made a living using self-deprecating humor (i.e. poking fun at themselves) and why exactly is that? Because we've all been there! Usually we can identify with them and know exactly what they're talking about. Being able to shrug off a mistake and move on is not only a sign of true self confidence, it's essential to managing Social Anxiety. The sooner we all realize that we aren't the only ones in the world that trip over something, say something silly or make a mistake, the sooner we will find ourselves in a much more laid-back and relaxed state of mind.

Life is hard enough as a rule, so lets make it easier on ourselves and lets not sweat the small stuff!

-The comfort zone
Ever feel like you need a break and a place to just go and get away from it all? Finding your own personal "comfort zone" is an important part of dealing with SAD. Personally, I like to head off to the beach when I'm stressed out and just take in the sights and sounds. The ocean air and beauty of it all have a calming effect for me. Seeing how we all come from different parts of the globe and that we all have different tastes, our own personal sanctuaries will differ. It could be anything from chilling out at a local park, to just going for a drive in your car, or even just drawing yourself a hot bath and zoning out (or hot shower for us guys).

While the best way to deal with anxiety-inducing situations is to gradually desensitize yourself and confront them head on until they get easier, sometimes we need a place to go and regroup. Where as sleep is our body's way of recharging physically, we all need a place where we can go to and recharge the mind.

-Goal setting
We as humans crave accomplishment and meaning in our lives. The more that we are able to accomplish, the better we feel about ourselves and the better our self esteem will be. Start setting goals for yourself and don't be afraid to be proud of yourself when you start knocking them down!

-Baby steps
While it's a great idea to set goals for yourself, you also must give yourself a realistic timetable to accomplish them. Overcoming or learning to manage your anxiety is a gradual process and you should look at achieving your goals the same way. Start small and just gradually work your way up from there. Gradually push yourself step by step until that stressful situation you're dealing with begins to dissolve and things get easier. Any accomplishment, no matter how small it seems, is another step closer to getting better and reason to keep on pushing yourself.

-Find something you love about yourself
Things can get rough at times and some of us have a lot of issues that we must deal with day to day, but we should never lose track of the fact that there is something GREAT about all of us! There is no exception among us here. We're all unique and there is an infinite amount of qualities and abilities out there worthy of praise. Find something you like about yourself and embrace it. We have become experts when it comes to dwelling on the negative aspects of our lives, just imagine if we put half that effort into feeling good about ourselves.

-Exercise
Some of use put rims in our car or install tricked out stereos. Some of us spend hours downloading desktop wallpaper and screen savers for our computers. Some of us treat our pets like kings or queens. Do we all do enough for ourselves?

Not only is exercise essential for good health and not only is it a great stress reliever, lets be honest, it's also a great way to give our self esteem a good boost. Whether it's going for a jog, taking a walk, lifting weights, Pilates, or Yoga, you can't go wrong with exercise.

-A pet
When times are rough, you'd be hard-pressed to find anything better than a little unconditional love. One way for all of us to snag a little is to find a pet that suits our needs and lifestyle. Where as I'm a dog kinda guy myself, you might have a place in your heart and home for a cat, fish, snake, lizard or one of the many other pets available out there. There are also numerous animals up for adoption out there. You not only would be bringing in some additional joy to your life, you'd be saving a life as well.

-Music
Sometimes a song can take every emotion that you're feeling and put it into words or a rhythm that you've never imagined, yet it describes how you feel better than you ever could have. Sometimes a song has the power to bring a smile to your face after a hard day or give you the energy you need to face the day. Finding a sound that connects with us is an amazing way to deal with all the ups and downs that life can bring. Listening to music isn't the only root of its salvation, sometimes playing or creating music is just as fulfilling if not more. Music is a powerful tool for either the creative mind or the eager ear.

Tips aside, we all have already taken one of the biggest steps of our lives. We have acknowledged that there is a problem and we've sought out help in dealing with it by finding the SAS website. Admitting that there is a problem is the first step towards recovery. Things may seem bleak when you're alone but when you work with others toward a common goal, you can accomplish anything. So hopefully we can all help each other get the to point in our lives that we want to be.