I'm about to turn 17 but I'm very mature. I like this guy thats 24 & I'v known him for a while. He likes me and i like him. We have a lot of things in commen and i am really attracted to him. But he's afraid of what people will say and getting in trouble. What do i do!!
2007-10-24 08:46:25 · 76 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There isn't anything wrong with being with an older guy at all. I'm sure you are very mature for your age and when I was 18 my boyfriend was 25 (same age difference as you). I would consider waiting until you were of age *18 of course* before you pursed anything romantic, and if you both really like eachother, it will be worth the wait. Let me offer you some advise I wish someone offered me when I was dating an older man.
1) Are you okay with the fact that he can go to bars/clubs with his buddies and you can't come?
2) will you be okay with the fact that he can go to certain concerts/shows that are 21 and up and you stay at home?
3) Are you comfortable with the fact that he has lead an adult life for 6 years? Meaning (for most men) one night stands, stupid drunken nights, etc.
and lastly, Are you okay with the fact that you will not have had any fun adult experiences? When you reach 18, then 21 *if you are still together that is* you will want to go out all the time with your friends! He on the hand, will have slowed down lots and want to keep you in.
Now, this is my experience and i'm not one to say this would happen to you. Just keep these things in mind.
PS sometimes it sucks being much younger, when you do have an opinion, sometimes it can be shut down because you "don't have that life experience" Best of luck to you love, and hope you do what makes you happy. That is number one!
2007-10-24 08:55:20 · answer #1 · answered by lovelyrj7 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I think that age ain't nothing but a number; however, in the eyes of society the gap between 17 and 18 is huge, you would probably get a different response to your question if it was 18 and 25 rather then 17 and 24, I think this is partially due to statitory rape laws. You might want to consider the relationship low key until that time. The main thing is how you truly feel and how your family and friends view this guy. it is much easier for people to see others from the other side as i am sur that you must have with your friends relationships, etc. It is important to remember that he has years and experience on you and you (despite how "mature" you feel) are still young, naive and don't know everything that there is to know about people. I strongly think that you will do what you want to do despite people telling you otherwise, am I right! been there done that! Me personally I have always dated older men and I found that I hung around with "older crowds because I was more mature than people my own age, and I realize the difference of me being 17 dating an older man between me now being 27 and dating an older man. Huge difference and let me tell you it is not the same one from 17. and dating at 17 I dated a man who essentially manipulated me, and despite my better judgement and people close to me telling me different, I stayed until I had enough, plus I was still young and had a lo9t more to experience before settling down with one man and ready to move away from freinds, family, etc. which often happens with a serious lon-term relationship (and don't get me wrong I am not saying that it is alright for you to give up friends for him, etc. It just happens that you lose touch naturally over the years). On the other hand, I have known 24 year old men who were extremelly immature also. These days girls are developing a lot sonner and it is a proven fact that women mature quicker than men. I don't think the age difference alone would convince someone on here that doesn't know you or him personally to say whether it is wrong or not, if he was old enough to be your father, then perhaps lol. Also if you were a man that was dating a "cougar" you would also probably get a much different response, unfortunately, people grow up with certain values engraved into them from society on what is right and what is wrong, I am one of the few that can look beyond this and I say, if it feels right, and your heart, as well as your brain tells you 100% that it is right, and if you know this guy well and trust him then go with what you are feeling, if their is any doubts, then you should examine those closely and I hope it all works out and you are happy in the end, that is all that matters. Hope this helps;-)
2007-10-24 09:09:24 · answer #2 · answered by highballer906 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you're not being intimate, there shouldn't be a problem. Otherwise, that is considered statutory rape. I suggest not being intimate if you don't wish to get him in some serious trouble. When I was 16, I was dating a 24 year old. I assure you that you are not as mature as you think and the two of you most likely don't have a whole lot in common. Honestly, it depends on a lot of other factors. For example...how your parents feel about it.
2007-10-24 08:51:03 · answer #3 · answered by Megan R 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wait until your 18. 17 and a 24 year old live two different life's. When your 18 you will start living that different life. So wait and also if he's 24 with no job or not going to school and live with his parents leave him alone.
2007-10-24 08:55:20 · answer #4 · answered by lilbagel21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When your 60 and he's 67 it certainly won't be an issue.
But right now, it is a little out of line.
And you may be mature, but are you experienced in personal relationships to the point that you can deal with someone that is thirty percent older than you.
Good luck
2007-10-24 08:51:58 · answer #5 · answered by Perplexed 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should be frightened. It is still illegal in most states for you two to be together. My 17 yr. old's boyfriend spent 16 months sitting on our front porch letting us get to know him. She was 15 and he was 19 and we said he was too old. He eventually got invited inside after almost a year and a half. His persistance paid off. They are now 17 and 21. Aanyone else his age would be too old. But he has really proven he cares for her and he is gentleman and abides by our rules. Else wise my hubby would have killed him. Alot of guys are in prison just for attempting to have a relationship with a girl too young. Be careful if you two are meant to be together he will be around when you are 18.
2007-10-24 08:51:34 · answer #6 · answered by Southern Comfort 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There could be a legal ramification here - if you're only 16 and he is over 18, he really could get into trouble. Do you parents know about him? Can you not just be friends for a while, and date if you're still interested at a later time (when you're legal)? I went through similar situations when I was younger and always found the guys were jerks...not that yours is...just a thought
2007-10-24 08:50:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Intimate relation life like married, or partnerships is the
course. Not starting anything is what we say about sex,
personal investments, and lifestyle. This still leaves the
good act of making friends in the open. Youths should
make 30-50 friends to keep into adult life.
2007-10-24 08:54:42 · answer #8 · answered by mtvtoni 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Age is just a number, be careful though if hes 24 he might be up to some bad stuff. Im 24 and i dont even really think about dating a girl who is as young as you because i wouldnt be able to take you anywere because your not 21 yet.
2007-10-24 08:53:05 · answer #9 · answered by willmiller82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not bad as long as you are not having sex. While she is still under 18 the parents can file statutory rape charges against you and a CPS referral can be made as well and sometimes the allegations can be made on the parent of the minor for general neglect. I think it's ok to date him but try to avoid the sex thing or don't get pregnant which in turn would out that you are having sex with him. :o)
2007-10-24 08:51:49 · answer #10 · answered by Cali_Flwr 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋