A month ago I hosted a bridal shower and bachlorette party for my friend. Well a bunch of the girls in the bridal party and that sent gifts to the wedding or shower received thank you notes. I still have not received one and my "friend" (she's not acting like a good on in my opinion), rubbing in how much she enjoys some of the other gifts and how she DIDN'T receive gifts from some guests after she shelled out tons of money to have them at the reception. Well Since I was a bm in the wedding I shelled out tons of money for the dress & what not, plus all the money for the shower & bach. party...No one else paid. I gave her a small bath salt set at the shower, and a silky robe at the bach, so I thought a nice card and picture frame would be good enough for the wedding. I would have assumed the partys to be a good enough gift if it were me. Because I was in the bridal party should I send another gift. She keeps bringing up what items she didn't receive off her registry?
2007-10-24 08:39:32 · 21 answers · asked by !s@b3l@ 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I thought you were supposed to be glad for the gifts that you are given, and that you shouldn't be complaining about what someone gave or who didn't give. Most showers & bach parties I've been to, the hostees doesn't bring a gift.
2007-10-24 08:41:42 · update #1
I agree with ya...She is not acting like a very good friend. You gave her several gifts, plus hosted multiple parties. I think that what you did was more than enough. If she keeps bringing up what she didn't get...perhaps you could tell her that you will go with her to go shopping for these items with all the "gift money or cards" she received. This will let her know that you are in not going to paying for anything else. You've been more than generious and she is being rude by not giving thanks for what you did. Chalk it up to one of those you live and learn experiences. If she insists on being rude to you...cut your ties...no one needs someone like her in their lives.
2007-10-24 08:53:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
No way! You were part of her wedding party, hosted both events prior to her wedding and still gave a gift from the heart! You did you part and then some. I dont think at all that you should feel (or be made to feel) that what you did was not enough.
I think what you should do is confront her, not in a negative way. Just ask her if she is upset with what you gave as a gift? If the answer is yes, then you can tell her that you intentions were not to upset her-but the fact that you did so much for her prior to the wedding you felt that monetarilly you did your part, and also as a friend you did your part. And that everything you did for her and gave to her came from the heart. If she feels that you owe her something else then that is her problem. You should not be made to feel that you didn't do or give enough. You were in her wedding and that ALONE is enough!!!
2007-10-24 10:31:17 · answer #2 · answered by Sunshine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, wait. You were a bridesmaid in the wedding, so you paid for the dress/alterations, shoes, hair, makeup, nails and all the jazz that goes along with it...
In addition, you threw her a shower AND a bachelorette party, gave her gifts at both, bought her a gift for her wedding, and she doesn't feel you gave her enough?!
Wow. That has to be one of the rudest things I've ever heard.
The next time she mentions something she didn't get off her registry, tell her if she waits, the stores will sometimes send a coupon for a percentage off unpurchased registry items so she could buy them herself.
I would take that polite approach ONCE. After that, if she made another passive-aggressive remark like that, I'd ask her point-blank if she was expecting more from you, because she keeps bringing it up. Yes, it's uncomfortable and would border on rude, but she obviously doesn't understand the concept of being grateful for what she's been given.
2007-10-24 09:00:14 · answer #3 · answered by sylvia 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You did enough. You being in the wedding and handling the bridal shower and bachelorette party should be gift enough.
Those complaining are only being petty.
Its not the cost of the gift that counts, its what comes from the heart. You spent a lot of money for her.
Sounds like she isn't a real good friend after all, considering you did give her a shower gift (as well as all the planning you did!).
2007-10-24 10:28:17 · answer #4 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is a spoiled whiny bag so don't let her bad manners affect you. Your were very generous already and even if you had just given them a card, you're still entitled to a thank you card just for being a bridesmaid. Do not give her another thing, except maybe a book on etiquette! Registries are just "suggestion lists" and no bride should expect to get everything unless her last name is Trump.You hosted BOTH the shower and a bachelorette party?!?! Good grief! You are more than generous. Just ignore this little diva and, when it's your turn to get married, be a real example of good manners and class! Your freinds will talk about the difference between the two of you and you'll come out on top!!
2007-10-24 08:47:14 · answer #5 · answered by Wifeforlife 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, you have done quite a lot for her. She should be grateful for the shower and bachelorette party. You did the bm dress and to top it all off, even gave gifts at the bach party and a nice little gift as a wedding present. I didn't even get a shower or bach party, all I got was a nice shower at work, and was surprised at all the nice gifts I did get. She sounds very superficial to me.
2007-10-24 08:48:30 · answer #6 · answered by Kate J 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
When she brings it up, say something to the affect that you know what she means, the shower and bachelorette party cost alot too. If you really want to give her a gift, send some money to help the burned out fire victims to the Red Cross or Salvation Army, and donate it in her name.
2007-10-24 08:59:05 · answer #7 · answered by Songbyrd JPA ✡ 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you have gone above and beyond. You gave her 3 gifts, 2 parties and were in her wedding. Does she want you to carry her child, too?
Your friend has no tact and is incredibly rude. You are supposed to invite people to your wedding so that they can share in your joy of joining your lives together - not to get as much money out of them as you can.
If you feel like she is truly making pointed remarks at you about this and you can't take it anymore, tell her that it bothers you and that you feel like you contributed to her special day and much as you can. Tell her that if she can't appreciate what you did, then she isn't really worth being a friend anymore.
It doesn't sound like she would provide the same level of sacrifice for you. She should be incredibly grateful for such a caring friend.
2007-10-24 08:46:24 · answer #8 · answered by teel2624 4 · 9⤊ 0⤋
She sounds very ungrateful and not much of a friend to me. If I had a friend willing to do all that you did for her, I would not want a gift from her at all. I wouldnt be giving her anything else. You have done enough and maybe she needs to be told to stop acting like a spoiled child.
It is so stupid how much money brides expect their maid of honour to fork out these days. This new "tradition" needs to be stopped because in my opinion, it is getting out of hand.
2007-10-24 09:54:30 · answer #9 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Friendship is what is important. Although there are those
charities at the warehouse level that people really, really,
need to join. I always go to the Olympia, Osco, Spree
warehouse and get them started with a full membership.
Pick some nice stuff out on the 10 dollars a carriage day.
Real world, real love, real sharing is the best.
2007-10-24 08:47:56 · answer #10 · answered by mtvtoni 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋