My mom has 5 kids total, my brother and I are grown up and moved out years ago but the other 3 are aged 9-15. My mom is married to a in my opinion horrible husband/father. She has wanted to leave him for years but never graduated high school and can't get a job that isn't at a retail store. She once tried to go back to school but he made her feel guilty about not staying home with the kids. He ignores my younger siblings when he gets home from work and always puts my mom down and makes her feel worthless. She is back in my hometown and my brother and I moved to another state. I want to help her but I don't know how. She has no other family to support her and she says she can't move out here because its too expensive (my brother and I told her we would help if she moved here because we can't move back home). What can I do to help her? I am best friends with her and talk to her all day everyday but its beginning to seem like its not enough. Please help!
2007-10-24 08:00:13 · 6 answers · asked by Nicole 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Also, as you can see this is my stepfather, not my birth father. My older brother and I are from my mom's first marriage and our stepfather has not spoken to either of us in about 7 years.
2007-10-24 08:05:20 · update #1
She has asked me for help before but it is really hard for her to do and I know that. I live in California and she said that she doesn't want to raise her kids here because its too expensive and because of crime. She lives in a very small, very safe Colorado town and she was nervous even when they all came out to visit us last year.
2007-10-24 08:19:03 · update #2
You're already helping her by asking for help sweetie. It sounds like you're just going to have to take charge and move her when Mr. DumbA** is not home. Don't let her say no either. Do it! She can always go back to school, study and get her GED, even go on to college and make something of herself. All this guy is doing (and I'm sorry if he's your dad) is abusing your mom. Yes, abusing. Even though he's not hitting her (is he?) this is still abuse, it's verbal.
Your mom could probably use some counseling too. Sure, leaving him would probably be hard at first but you know what my dear? You have to hit bottom before you can start going up in life. Don't take no for an answer from her. Get her out now! Tomorrow is to late. No one deserves to be abused, either physically or verbally.
2007-10-24 08:07:28 · answer #1 · answered by Phurface 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you and your brother can afford it start a small savings account for her and request that she get a part-time job or something even if it's retail and start putting some money aside for her. Open up a joint account that she can either send you/brother and just put any money you can inside it.. If she has anything she can sell start doing that NOW.. If she can attend night school for a FREE GED course that would be even better but, she may have to wait on that until she leaves her husband. She also might want to get in touch with a lawyer about getting a divorce.. So, you may have to help her monetarily get a lawyer... Good luck
2007-10-24 15:07:34 · answer #2 · answered by pebblespro 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, the first thing you must do is continue to encourage your mother to get out of the house with the kids. In some towns, there are places that will take the woman and the children, free of charge. That no good man of hers believes that she'll never leave him, so she must prove that she will. He is verbally abusive, and she needs all the encouragement you and your brother can give her. I also suggest that either you or your brother contact an attorney immediately. Don't delay.
2007-10-24 15:09:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would pay for her to move where you are I mean get a place set up for her and show her that she will have your support and she can always go back to school some places even have child care at night for adult schooling look into that while you are at it hope this helps
2007-10-24 15:06:32 · answer #4 · answered by country_metalhead 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, there isn't too much more you can do for her. I understand your wanting to protect her and get her out of this bad relationship. But she needs to want to do it for herself. You are supporting her by letting her know you are there for her and by listening. That is about all you can do. Keep encouraging her to get out and express your concerns. Continue to offer her financial help, but with the small children it won't be easy for any of you. She can go get her GED once she leaves him, if she leaves him. Sorry I can't offer more but she has to want it for herself.
2007-10-24 15:13:26 · answer #5 · answered by misbotta 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I, personally, would do nothing unless she asks for help. It could make things harder for her if her troubles are stirred up because of an opinion that you may have. When she asks, and if you CAN help her, then give it. You can't force her out of a bad relationship, but you can be there when she needs you.
2007-10-24 15:15:52 · answer #6 · answered by TornadoAnglia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋