Me and my lady have been together for about 1 1/2 years. we got back together about 4 months ago. my problem is that she goes out to lunch with "her best friend" on a weekly basis. Keep in mind that this guy is basically married has a kid and his wife is pregnant. I trust my girl, but some how something doesn' t seem right. I found out that when my girl and him go out to lunch or a drink that he doesn't tell his wife. He is a married man and the way I see it instead of wanting to hang out with my girl for lunch or a drink he should be at home with wifey. I told my girl that this was buggin me that they hung out on a weekly basis and she got pissed off. she said that I was so insecure and that there was nothing there and that she is not doing anything wrong. she told me that the reason why he doesn't tell his wife is because he has cheated in the past. I told her well if he is your best friend wouldn' t he want to meet me, but the guy doesn't like me wonder y? what do i do about this
2007-10-24 07:56:24 · 6 answers · asked by Bank$ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Red flags should be popping up all over this situation.
First and foremost - he has a history of cheating. Secondly - he doesn't tell his wife. If "nothing" is going on, then it should be no problem for him to let her know what's what.
If the two of them had kept it at regular lunch dates that's one thing...but they go out for drinks as well? Hmmm. Based on personal experience alcohol + a familiar person = flirting. Flirting + more alcohol = a VERY slippery slope!
I'm not saying that you shouldn't trust your girl...I'm saying that you shouldn't trust this friend.
If he's never met you and automatically doesn't like you one of two things is going on:
1- your girl has told him horrible things about you (that are obviously untrue ;-)) or
2- He's jealous of what the two of you have. Jealousy oftentimes means there are feelings beneath the surface.
As far as how to handle the situation, I would never advocate you give your gf an ultimatum about leaving this dude alone. I'd try to talk to her and tell her how you feel...ask her to put the shoe on the other foot and she how she'd feel. Maybe you guys can come to an understanding.
If all else fails, show up wherever they will be with some lame excuse about how you just HAD to track her down, as you left something important in her car...etc. That way you can meet this guy....!
Good luck! :-)
2007-10-24 08:14:11 · answer #1 · answered by YSIC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Conveniently drop in on one of the lunch dates and meet the guy that way. See if there is something there for yourself. I would also drop a hint to his wife, as she has a right to know her husband is having a weekly lunch with another woman, whether he is cheating or not.The fact that this guy doesn't have the balls to meet you is worrisome, to say the least. Your girl most likely sees them as friends, but he might not and might want something more from her. It could be he's slowly working at her. I would trust her, but not him. She won't do anything, but that doesn't mean he won't try like hell. If that's the case then expose his sorry *** and get her awya from him.
2007-10-24 08:03:44 · answer #2 · answered by callmegoddess618 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that you need to grow some hair on your nuts. So many women think that they can do what they want in the relationship reguardless if it hurts someones feelings or not. If I were in your shoes and I had not met this "friend" it wouldnt fly. Tell her if this friend of her is that important than I need to meet him before you go out to lunch again. She will have to understand where you are coming from. Stay strong and good luck.
2007-10-24 08:08:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's definitely a red flag for a couple of reasons. First, he is lying to his wife about going out to lunch with his "best friend" and secondly, you haven't ever met him but he is her "best friend"? That doesn't add up.
If you want to try and save this relationship then ask her why her best friend doesn't want to meet her husband and tell her you'd like to meet him. Go to lunch with them one day and see how they act around eachother. If she says you can't meet him then you need to leave her and move on because something is up.
2007-10-24 08:02:55 · answer #4 · answered by Madison 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite yourself to lunch with them.
2007-10-24 08:02:03 · answer #5 · answered by Been There2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she told you whats going on ... its not a big deal...
2007-10-24 08:00:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋