if there mate has gone way overboard with there weight & refuses to lose and this person is no longer attracted at all with there mate.
2007-10-24 06:53:03 · 44 answers · asked by david x 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you are not attracted to your mate you don't have to have sex with him/her...But when you are no longer attracted then it will mess up the relationship and then later on everything your mate does will irritate you..So it is not good when you are not attracted to him/her and eventually you will find someone that is more attracted and cheat or dump the person that you are already with. If you want to save the relationship find somthing sexy about your partner.
2007-10-24 06:58:23 · answer #1 · answered by Sexybrowneyes7553 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gaining weight and losing weight are the results o the way of life.
Once married, one cannot guarantee that his spouse will remain in the same shape and size even after marriage.
A beautiful woman may met an accident and her face or body may be damaged.Just because of this one cannot leave his spouse.
The spouse may refuse to lose weight for the simple reason that she is feeling bad with exercises, medicine without any positive results and so she/he may thought to quit the process.
The relationship does not cease to exist in all the above cases.
Regarding the point of have to have sex with th e mate is a different question. Even if the partner hasn't put on weight, they may have no relationship for various reasons. It is something to be decided in between the couple.
They have the choice to get separated legally, showing valid reasons.
Sex is not a mechanical working, if some one says you have to have with your mate. It is by instinct and when heart and mind cooperate, they get interested to meet and then only, the anatomy and physiology work completely and the act is fulfilled.
2007-10-24 07:06:55 · answer #2 · answered by kbk_murthi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, they shouldn't be forced to have sex... but at the same time there needs to be some understanding as well. like maybe there is a reason the weight was put on - ahem kids? depression? etc. People lose attraction in relaitonships, but if it is a lasting marriage there should be something more.
Now if this is a case there is no attraction, then you both need to be honest. Saying honey, you're a heffer will get you no where.. but something like I love you and I miss (fill in the blank) and I want to have that again... then making a healthy plan could help. You can't help it though if you don't want to have sex with the other person - and shouldn't be forced persay to have sex.
2007-10-24 06:58:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really love them. Than the weight shouldn't matter. The only reason you should feel that way is for there health and not the appearance of the person. If you took the time to realize why they gained the weight, and help that person. Than the attraction would still be the same.
2007-10-24 06:57:53 · answer #4 · answered by ranger33 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to remember there is more to a relationship than looks. If you are not attracted to your mate, maybe it's time to move on. What I would do is tell him/her that you want to start eating healthy and exercise more and would like her support. This may be a way to get her to lose weight without having to come out and say it.
2007-10-24 06:57:23 · answer #5 · answered by Brian C 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your are not married then you have no commitment to this person on one hand. But if you love everything else about this person the weight should not be an issue. Also consider if this person is trying to do something about the weight, if so definetly do some supporting. But to the point should you have to NO, but if you are not wanting to maybe that is saying something about the relationship, since there is more to a relationship than sex.
2007-10-24 07:00:27 · answer #6 · answered by Kaynell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex should be a totally consensual act, meaning both people have to 100% want to participate. Everyone has different reasons and emotions attached with why they have sex with their partners. For some people, it's all about love, etc. For others, it's purely about physical attraction.
It's one thing to no longer be physically attracted to your partner, but it sort of sounds like you may have also lost your emotional attachment to this person as well. If you're an active person, you might want to invite your partner to go for a run with you, play tennis with you, or work out with you. That could both rekindle your bond while also getting your partner back into shape. Of course, his or her eating habits will have to change too... Maybe you could tell them that you're going on a diet and you don't want to do it alone; ask them to do it with you without actually saying, "You're fat, go on a diet and get your biscuit on the treadmill." lol.
Other than that, your relationship doesn't seem to be standing on very solid ground if your partner's physical appearance is affecting your feelings for them so much. You may want to consider another course of action, perhaps ending the relationship.
2007-10-24 07:00:20 · answer #7 · answered by prestigieuxlavie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u r no longer attracted to your mate than why are u stiill together. Your just going to hurt the other person worse in the long run if u keep the relationship going.
2007-10-24 06:56:00 · answer #8 · answered by ms. Wilder part II 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the spark is gone...then it's gone. What can a person do about it? If the overweight spouse truly loved her significant other, and significant other has told them "Hey your weight is out of control, I really want you to lose weight and I will do all I can to help", but they refuse to even try, then you have a right not to have sex with them. Of course on your end you need to be compassionate and willing not to eat Twinkies in front of a fat person that's dieting. I think your marriage can be saved if both partners are willing to do their share, but if one refuses to seek help for their weight, then you may have to end your marriage. By the way, I am overweight but my husband has never told me to go see Jenny Craig, but if he did I would go (as soon as I got the frying pan off his head) and try my best for him because I love him.
2007-10-24 07:02:23 · answer #9 · answered by checkthisout! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No.
Even if there is a marriage certificate involved, you are not required to have sex with your mate. If your mate retaliates by forcing the issue, that is called Sexual Assault, and while Marital Sexual Assault generally is not sentenced as heavily as the Assault on one one is not married to, it is still a serious criminal offence. Whom you have sex with, when you have sex with them, and how you have sex with them is up to YOU, not them. If what you do/don't want matches-up, great, if they don't it's called work it out.
Now, in your case, you say (s)he has turned into a beached whale, and about as attractive as major surgery without anaesthesia. Sit down and talk with them...try to find-out WHY they are so obese and not taking care of themself. It could be as simple as a reaction to someone's unwanted sexual advances at work.
In any case, good luck...you may need it!
2007-10-24 07:14:39 · answer #10 · answered by jcurrieii 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋