future Mom in law said she would pay for the cake and photos for wedding now 5 m til she won't pay what 2 do

Question

I dont understand ? I dont think I have offended her in any way!And they have plenty of money, i just dont know how to handle this with grace?

Answer 1

I had the same situation with my MIL, she offered to pay for this and that, offered to let us have the reception in her backyard to cut down on costs, and backed out of it about a month before our wedding. Luckily, I had another venue to use for the reception and I had some savings to use for the costs, but most of it was credit, unfortunately.
I would suggest that you not try to argue with the MIL about it, just swallow the anxiety it's put on you and find another way to pay. I WOULD NOT suggest using credit cards to finance your wedding (debt is never good!) but start saving up your own money. If you need to postpone the wedding for a couple of months to have enough to pay for everything, you might want to think about that, too.
It sucks that she left you in this position, but just try to smile and be cordial to her. You don't want to start off a marriage with hostility toward the MIL.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Your future mom in law sounds a little like mine. She has given us LOTS of stuff, support, $$$, etc., but it is all conditional with her...better than my family...they give us nothing. Anyway, she promised us some money at one time but didn't like the idea that we were having another baby...so she pulled out of her promise to help us and it set us back for a bit but we pulled through just fine and now we know where we stand with her. You might be in the same situation, maybe she wants to be more involved? Maybe she wants to push her ideas and desires onto your wedding day, planning, etc., have your fiance talk with her to see if there is a problem and find out why she doesn't want ot pay anymore. If you have offended her, you can apologize and get back on track. If she is trying to butt in and wants her gift to be "conditional" on you bowing down to her needs, wants, desires...you know where you stand with her and you have plenty of time to figure out how to pay for the cake and photos before your wedding day...and you have just learned what kind of mother in law you will be dealing with for the rest of your life. Good luck and Congrats on your wedding.

Answer 3

I'm not sure YOU can. I think I would send the fiance to talk to his mom about it.

Have him approach it for the both of you, not as if he is there to whine or complain for you. He needs to say something like this: "Mom, I wanted to make sure everything was okay between us and between you and Jane. Did something happen to change your mind about the money? Of course, you don't have to contribute, it's just that we budgeted around it and now we will need to make some changes if you are not going to be able to help".

He needs to handle it carefully, but yes, you do need to find out if she is or isn't contributing, so you can make necessary changes if any. Make sure he comes away with a definite answer. Even a check!

Answer 4

Um, maybe she just hasn't done it yet because, hello, your wedding is still half a year away. I'm sure she's not aware of the need to take care of this immediately. If it is something that has to be done now, five months in advance, then tell your mother in law something like: you are going to meet with the photographers, and would she like to come along, and it is so generous of her to offer to contribute in this way, and you hope you can find something that suits both of you. If she comes with you to the photographer or bakery, then she will be aware of what arrangements need to be made.

Answer 5

Mention that the payment is due during light convo after dinner. If she says nothing, then talk to your groom to be. If he can't work it out, try just going for a cheaper cake and photo package and try to pay for it between the two of you. There is no use in causing a fight now.Goodluck

Answer 6

So, she's changed her mind? No biggie, you've got 5 months--it's not like she's changing her mind on you the day these bills are due.

If you need extra cash to pay for these services, then you need to cut back your expenses to have it, or you can get a 2nd job. My brother and his wife both worked 2 jobs to earn the money to pay for their wedding. They both worked their day jobs, then spent the weekends working a 2nd job--and used ALL that money for wedding expenses. With Christmas coming up, many retailers are looking for seasonal, temporary help, so that could give you enough extra cash to pay for those items yourself. Or cut other things out of your wedding budget.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Forget about it. It's not anyones duty but the 2 people who are getting married to pay for the wedding. Drop it and pay for it yourself.

Answer 8

don't ask her to pay for anything. Just handle it like the lady that you are and go on about your business. IF she says anything about the wedding, just be polite and say, "This was what WE paid for. Please accept OUR decisions." and leave it at that. That's what I had to do for my in-laws when they complained they didn't get a sit down dinner. I wish you much joy on your special day. Good luck.

Answer 9

Start doing research on your own to see how much it costs to get one. Try craigslist and visit local bakers.

My mother initially said she would help with things and then everytime we argued, she'd retract her statements so me and my fi decided, we are paying for the whole thing.

Answer 10

Well what I would do is select the most valuable option. Search for lower cake prices, and also look for deels on pictures and photographers.