Dear Jesus:
I'm quite fond of your advice on leading a good life and I can dig the idea of casting of eyes and hands that cause me to sin.
But you see, JC, it's not my eye that causes me to sin. It's another body part that I'm more than partial to. Infact, certain woman are quite partial my body part as well. And if I follow your advice, I will not be able "be fruitful and multiply".
So, should I go ahead and lop it off? If I do, do you got my back on that one? You sure I will enter the kingdom when the time comes?
Or should I just ride this one out?
2007-10-24 06:32:55 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
@ ɹɐǝɟsuɐs: Good point. Women have told me they are partial to my sin inducing tongue, too.
2007-10-24 06:39:38 · update #1
Dear James:
Please don't cut it off. I'll help you "ride this one out!"
2007-10-24 09:41:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
John 11:35
2016-05-25 12:30:20 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My child... you should first know that I rather enjoy watching you "SIN"... The best ones are when you wake up in the morning... O pornography is truly the breakfast of the gods.
but that being said... If you did "lop it off" that would probably be good for a laugh, and seeing as how I don't really care about any of you, and your only here for my amusement i think you with no Wang would be a great thing.
So in closing... There is no heaven, and cut off your wang whenever possible.
P.S. Santa want to know what you want for Christmas... He would hate to actually get it for you.
Worship me or else,
Jesus H. Christ
2007-10-24 06:40:48 · answer #3 · answered by Rick S 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If neither you nor the women who like your body parts are married to some one else "Ride it out" you're not sinning. if you are married & with other women then "Lop it off" already & get on with life.
2007-10-24 06:40:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Infact, certain woman are quite partial to my body part as well. And if I follow your advice, I will not be able "be fruitful and multiply".
I don't really see why you should remove it now, since you've already sinned with several people's soul mates and corrupted them.
2007-10-24 06:37:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
RJR, in reponse to your inquiry I am writing you to say that the decision is yours to make, I can't interfere with Free-Will. In other words, you're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't. But remember, I only offer forgiveness, permission was never a part of the deal.
2007-10-24 10:05:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
that was not to be taken literally. He was stressing the point.
Someone as valuable to you as a hand or a foot.
Or your tongue. These are all necessary to our survival.
That was the point. It is when a loving parent says: "do that again and I'll beat you to death" No parent is actually going to beat their child. But they get the point.
2007-10-24 06:45:45 · answer #7 · answered by Ruth 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hey.... Welcome back, lets see how long this profile sticks before Loving Believers decide that your wit and reasonable questions are too much to handle.
I say leave the offensive appendage be. Jesus clearly didn't mean what he said, or there would be millions of tongueless Christians.
2007-10-24 06:37:49 · answer #8 · answered by ɹɐǝɟsuɐs Blessed Cheese Maker 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Run James Run: Original ƒlava©:
You're confused. I gave you this body part not only because I want you to multiply (which you could easily do with a calculator) but because I knew it could give you amusement when you're bored. I want you to spend more time helping people who are less fortunate than you, but you needn't neglect yourself. There's no need to lop it off, unless it's bothering you that much.
Peace be upon you,
THE LORD!
2007-10-24 06:37:44 · answer #9 · answered by average person Violated 4 · 0⤊ 4⤋
May I offer some insight, Jesus said ask and you shall receive. ----- I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: (for without me ye can do nothing).
You can cut off your own hand or have it cut off, you can pluck out your own eye, or have it plucked out, but you are relying on your own will and strength and judgment or the will of others as Job did, it is not until you believe in Jesus, that you have enough faith to trust in Him, that He will fight for you, and do those things that you can not do.
God take this burden from me, for you said you would lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from evil if I asked you.
I' m askin God, I need your strenght. For my spirit is willing but, my flesh is weak.
It is not my eye, or my hand that sins, it is my heart and mind, that my eyes and hands listen to, heal my heart God, in the name of Jesus, I pray. For I can do nothing without you.
2007-10-24 07:06:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋