Daughter Screams in Public?

Question

My nine month old tends to scream a lot when we go out in public. It's usually when we're going out to eat somewhere or when we're in church. Even if we feed her before we go out, she still insists on screaming until we give her a piece of the food that WE'RE eating. When she gets done chewing the food, she'll scream until we give her another piece and so on. Pretty embarrassing ...

Advice?

Well, now I realize I have been doing it all wrong ... Thanks I guess

Answer 1

She is just a baby. Give her the food, maybe she is still hungry. How bad is it to feed her what you are eating. If she can handle the food you are eating the by all means let her have some. She will only be a baby for a short while. You won't be spoiling her - she is too young. Just enjoy her and don't stress out about this kind of stuff. It really isn't worth it. You will forget all about it later in life. My son is 10 years old and all that little stuff is long gone and how I miss it! He is the love of my life. You must enjoy each and every moment while it is here. These little things such as the crying in public for food, aren't going to seem too important when she is heading off to college.

Answer 2

I would suggest coming prepared. If you know that she screams when you are eating, plan on letting her eat too. Bring cookies or graham crackers to church. If she becomes too disruptive, you might just have to leave. It is far less embarrassing to leave than it is to let your kid scream. At nine months, you should probably start teaching the word "NO!" A nine month old is usually given a bit of lee-way in public situations, but a tantrum throwing four year old makes you look like an irresponsible parent. So, start now. Pretty soon, if you continue to leave immediately when your daughter screams (instead of giving her more food) she will associate screaming with NOT getting her way. It means that you'll probably have to miss out on some events for a while, but that's what you sign up for when you have a kid. While you can't reason with a nine-month old, you can teach by example. The message is "Tantrums don't get you what you want." Does your church have a "cry-room"? It may be unrealistic to expect an infant to sit quietly through a service that is an hour or longer. Also, look at how you respond to her at home. Does screaming get things done for her there?

Answer 3

You seem to be allowing the tail to wag the dog. Who is the parent here. When your child starts with the screaming leave where ever it is do not reward them by showing them lots of attention, or giving them something they want. When we went out to eat and I didn't have a sitter for my daughter I always kept a baggie of her favorite munchie, I would also order something she could and would eat that would not create to big of a mess and let her have it. I usually had to take her to the bathroom to clean her up before we left, and I always picked up any food she dropped, it is not the waitress' job to pick up after your child. I was never the one people were giving dirty looks because my child acted up. As far as church I take it that it doesn't have a nursery, maybe you should suggest it. Our church wasn't very big, we set up a schedule for all the mothers with kids in the nursery to take turns with three mom's on at a time, and every one brought snacks and some toys from home and even got a couple old cribs from people no longer having any more kids. In the baby's nursery most people bring in their carrier. We used the sunday school room. As the church grew we built on a room, and we increased the number of mothers in proportion to the number of little ones, we just recently split the kids into three age groups, 2 month olds to 18 months, 18 months to 36 months, and 36 months to 5 years old, We also provide a room for a parent to take a fussy child too old for the nursery where a speaker allows for the parent to still hear the service.
I hope this helps.

Answer 4

First you need to work on the screaming at home...or church. Those are the easiest places. Most churches have baby rooms or quiet places for kids.

When she screams, ignore it. Don't look at her, don't pick her up. When she stops, THEN go over to her, ask her what she wants (I know, she is only 9 months, but she can still understand you) then give her something when she isn't screaming....
Take her to out to dinner, etc. When she screams, turn her high chair around so she can't see you....until she stops, telling her... I don't want to hear it, etc..

You need to at 9 months start feeding her at the table with you it sounds like. She is interested in the foods you are eating and wants to experiment....this is exceptable and normal. Give her something before she feels as if she needs to scream for it.

Answer 5

She's a living, breathing 9 month old human being - not a doll. What do you expect her to do when she's sitting there confined to a high chair, bored, hungry & tired?

Give her some attention *before* she starts screaming. Give her praise while she's being 'good'. Then, continue to give her attention, periodically & regularly throughout the meal. Give her spoons to play with, quietly (ask them if they have some plastic spoons). Get her some bread or crackers to work on. Have special toys in your purse that only come out at times like this.

Be sure to help the restaurant staff by cleaning up after yourselves as best as possible when you're ready to go (and leaving a nice tip to make up for the mess on the floor that you can't clean up).

Answer 6

It may be teething but by nine months she should be done with that. Sounds to me like its just a behavioral problem. When your eating at home and she does that and you know she's already eaten than tell her No! be calm and strict and make her understand that she wont get nothing untill she stops scraming. Its going to take some time especially if this has been going on for a while now, so be patient. Also keep track of every time she eats so you know that she's eating correcty. When your out like in church or a resturant instead take her outside and tell her you wont tolerate that.
Good Luck!

Answer 7

ah! the joys of communicating with an infant on the edge of toddlerhood. She has learned that it bothers you when she screams, therefore she screams to get what she wants, whether it be a tidbit or attention. Next time, go to the park, where the screaming won't be quite so disturbing, give her a munchie, then start munching your own treat. When she starts screaming, look at her, say no firmly, then ignore her. If you find this too embarrassing to do at the park, see if you can get her to scream for treat/ attention at home. But it is VERY important that you NOT respond to the screaming. Be consistent, be firm, be loving, but do not give in, otherwise she will grow up thinking this is acceptable behavior and you will never have a moments peace or a child that you or anyone else wants to have around them.

Answer 8

Have you tried baby signs? Show her the sign for "more" which is usually putting your hands together, and then give her food. At her age, she should figure it out pretty quickly, and, with luck, she'll start using the sign instead of screaming. She's screaming because its the only way she knows how to communicate her needs to you. So teach her another way! Nine month old babies can't always learn to say words, but they can be taught signs. There are tons of baby signs books, if you don't want to buy one, go to your library! They are VERY effective--I've used them on three kids now, and many daycare centers are using them as well. Good luck!

Update: I've noticed that some people halfway suggested punishments. You can't effectively punish a nine month old! They don't understand consequences. Don't even consider punishment. You'll just make things worse.

Answer 9

1] Leave the church service, immediately. Take her where people in service cannot hear her - don't they have a church nursery?
2] you have two choices while dining out -
a] get food to go - she is too young to understand consequences of her noise
b] bring cut up food for her, or cut up a portion of each of your plates. Keep feeding her, so she doesn't yell. She can smell all those good food smells, even if you can't.
If this doesn't work, I would get a sitter, or order takeout.
No body wants to hear a screaming baby while eating - take her out of the restaurant, while other person gets food boxed up.

Answer 10

Go the pet store and buy a shock collar to put on her. Next time she screams ZAP!! After a couple of times she will get the hint just like a dog does. If only you could but most people frown upon that kind of teaching.
I would suggest taking her outside when she starts and let her scream her head off until she passes out but don't give her a thing. I personally would throw a glass of water in her face when she started screaming but people look down on that too. That is why we have so many spoiled children in this world. ( I mean it about the glass of water!) Yes I am cruel! it also works if they do not want to get out of bed in the morning!