Does emailing your emotionally unavailable boyfriend and telling him that you are tired of their distant behavior and pretty much just saying that you are going to start doing your own thing and they can tell you when they know what they really want mean that you sent them an ultimatum?
I know ultimatums always backfire and I hope my email didnt come across as an ultimatum. I just told him he can tell me when he knows what he wants from me that I am done dealing with his push and pull and that until he knows what he wants I am going to move on. I have always been passive with him and this is the first time I have firm. I am frustrated he seems to keep me hanging on and doesnt break up with me but also keeps me at a distance and then after a while he pulls me in again acting attentive, going from hot to cold. I was hoping my email would get a clear answer from him as nothign else has worked. He has not emailed me back.
Is my email cause irrepairable damage?
2007-10-24 06:09:25 · 7 answers · asked by Sad Girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Possibly. Maybe it is time to move on anyway. He might never grow up enough to be able to deal with.
2007-10-24 06:14:03 · answer #1 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best ultimatum is no ultamitum at all. It's you leaving and realizing that if he really loves you he will be emotionally available and realize that you are not worth losing. Ultimatums are not meant for relationships. If the other person really cares about you and loves you - they usually know without a doubt what it takes to keep you and make you happy. There are slip ups here and there because nobody is a mind reader - but even then in that case - if they were so great you would not be considering leaving as an alternative. Think about it. Just walk away without looking back. There is so much more to look forward to - let him be his emotionally unavailable self for someone else who is not smart enough to figure that out.
2007-10-24 13:17:15 · answer #2 · answered by Challah back Girl... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was probably not a good idea to email him. You need to SHOW him you are moving on by moving on! You don't have to tell him what you're doing. He will figure it out for himself when you're not available to him. I would just let things be for right now. No more emails, phone calls, nothing, just let him be. Go to the bookstore and get the book "The Rules" and turn off your phone and sit back and read it. It will give you so many insights into what is going on. The book will save you alot of heartbreak for about $7. I wish I had read it when I was in a relationship, it would have saved me alot of heartbreak. Good luck sweetie, get the book!
2007-10-24 13:25:14 · answer #3 · answered by casey308 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes the only way we can get our point across clearly is to write it. It isn't always the BEST way, but it works. He's going to read it, sit back in his chair and sigh...This is not a good relationship. If you can't feel like you can talk to him to his face, then there's no point in dragging this on anymore. Find a man who is emotionally available and doesn't play games. You are worth that, you know! Good luck!
2007-10-24 13:22:48 · answer #4 · answered by Jennifer R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Email is one of the worst ways to get any point across. Pick up the phone and call him; better yet, meet him in person. Tell him exactly what you said and that you're moving on.
2007-10-24 13:14:26 · answer #5 · answered by xK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You told the guy not to call you until he knew what he wanted. So he's not calling. Yes that was an ultimatum. I'd start doing your own thing like you said you were.
2007-10-24 13:19:44 · answer #6 · answered by shellshell 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What was your intention?
2007-10-24 13:12:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋