how do i get my boyfriend to do nice romantic gestures without having to ask for it?

Question

my boyfriend's lovely. We've been going out for a few months now and have even decided to get a flat together. We're really happy, though obviously adjusting to having to live with a significant other for the first time. The only thing that bothers me, is that he never does anything nice to surprise me or show me how much he cares. He doesn't come home with flowers, or leave me cute notes or anything like that. I always try to do little things for him because i like seeing him happy, so it would be nice for him to do the same to me. Only i can't ask him to do it. I want him to want to do it, not do it because i asked him to. Are there any sollutions to turning him into more of an attentive romantic guy?

Answer 1

You just have to straight up tell him in a humorous way "there is no frills and no surprises with you?" and giggle...say "I've learned that about you." (Girls like a surprise every once in awhile) I'm in the same Doggone Boat as You! He tries sometimes...but ya gotta tell him otherwise he'll forget!

Sometimes, people don't take notice to things until you bring it to their attention..we all do it!

I get him something and say "Geez, It Must Be Nice?" for someone to think about you, WOW! Thinking, (What have you done for me lately?)

Answer 2

Nice, romantic gestures don't mean as much to guys. For instance, my sister asked her husband why he never buys her flowers; he said "Because they're a waste of money, they die". His idea of a nice gesture is to wash the dishes. It is a nice gesture, but it's certainly not romantic.

If you want him to do this, you're going to have to tell him. Hints will not work. Just say that you'd appreciate receiving flowers every once in a while, it would mean a lot to you - not just on a holiday but "just because". Be sure to reinforce the behavior when he does it.

Answer 3

No, if you don't like the fact that he does not do those things for you maybe you should not be with him. You can't change a person and each person is different in relationships. Not all guys do romantic gestures and that is ok. I am sure he has his own "special" way of showing you other than the ways you would like him to show you. Just open your eyes.

Answer 4

I have experienced a similar situation with my boyfriend. Sometimes you just have to say something to him. It doesnt automatically make him think about it all the time however. One thing that I have done is when I'm making lunch, I will be writing him a little note for his lunch and I'll make it so he accidentally sees me doing it, so I say "why dont you make me one too?" and he will. The words in the note are from his heart and he then knows that it is something that I like as a surprise in my lunch. Now once in a while, he'll leave me notes in my lunch or buy me special little presents to show an extra gesture. Good luck

Answer 5

I consider myself a gentleman, and I have to be asked to do things like that unless Val day or Bday or something. But I just dont see a reason for romantics all the time. If you want that then get a diff guy about every couple months.

Answer 6

I don't think you can change this guy. His way of showing he loves you are other ways and if you really do love him you should accept him the way he is. I mean i LOVEEE when guys do that and i'm sure you do too that's why you want it but it reallyyyyy won't mean anything if you tell him or someone tells him. It only truly counts when he does it from his heart. But he's not that type so you should just live with it =/

Answer 7

Some ppl arent like that .... maybe your boyfriend isnt one of those lovey dovey types... but it could be the fact that he just doesnt have time or the fact that u guys havent been together for long. most ppl wait a month or 2 to even start to the whole present thing... why dont you try commenting to him about wat wonderful things your friends boyfriends have done for them ... wat eva you do dont bring up your exes and use them as an example.. if this doesnt work , why dont one of your friends talk to him and without hinting that you've said anything ask him how things are goin and wats he doing for your bday / anniversary (even if its a couple of months) .. also why dont u start leaving him little notes and strike up a conversation with him like that .... he'll be leaving you nice little things in no time.... good luck.

Answer 8

if you have any friends that have nice romantic boy friends, take him around them and point out some of the things they do and say some thing like "oh that soooo cute!" and basically give him lots of hints.

you can do the same thing when watching a romantic movie with him.

and as always the best way of leading is by example, so the more you do cute stuff the more likely he will return the favor.

Answer 9

BE NICER~! lol. Do things out of the ordinary that he knows you wouldn't normally do. Believe it or not...some guys don't think it's corny for his loved one to give him a flower...they think it's sweet and it means a lot to them. Although some may not really react in such a way. You can give him 500 letter and you'll still only get one reply. It's the manner in which you do it. Obviously you do it out of the kindness of your heart to see him happy but if you do it expecting something in return...you're not really doing it for them you're doing it for yourself. I was waiting for that moment with my bf. I was tired of waiting so after 1 year I asked him how come he never gives me flowers or writes back. He just got mad and said "I was waiting for the right time. Now you're asking for it? Do you think I want to give you anything now...*uck that."

So I ignored it and realized that I should've sticked to my pride and not said a word about it. I didn't want to sound needy (but believe me I've done for him what I would never do for just ANYONE) so I let that go like it never happened. 2 months later he pretends to be at the hospital with his uncle but then tells me to come outside. It's 10 at night so I'm wondering why the hell he wants me to go outside...how does he know what is out there. So I, like an idiot, go outside and stand there and ask what the hell he's talking about. Then he gets off a car and hands me a big @ $ $ bouquet of tiny yellow roses. I mean you'd think he's holding a 2 year old. Ever since...he does a lot of corny things a guy is less willing to admit...a lot of kisses. Lots of hugs...opens the doors for me. Pulls my chair out...stuff like that.

I guess it just depends how comfortable you are with your bf enough to ask him for something generous from him.

Answer 10

Well, as your boyfriend, he should automatically want to do nice things for you, like you've mentioned...problem is, some guys don't know how to go about it, so they don't bother.

Try asking him how he feels when you leave him little notes or do things especially for him. Chances are, he'll tell you how much he appreciates it and loves when you do those types of things for him. When he says that, tell him "Yeah, I like those kinds of things too." or "I like it when you surprise me too." He'll get the hint that he needs to put forth some effort too, without you having to flat out say "DO THIS FOR ME!"