I do not understand, sometime she's chatting on phone and online with millions of people but she doesn't have time for her mum? She's always with her friends, ever since her turned 14 its like she's got her own social life where I'm not involved. Many times she looks confused and depressed but she never wants to talk when I was happy to... What should I do?
2007-10-24 05:02:53 · 29 answers · asked by Miller 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is perfectly normal for a girl her age. Trust me Ive raised a few myself. Dont take it personal. All kids go through this. She'll come around again when shes in her twenties. Right now shes at an age when the most important people in her life are her friends.Alos be prepard ...this is the age where all the drama begins and it continues until shes out of high school. Welcome to the painful frustating world of having a teen daughter..
2007-10-24 05:40:19 · answer #1 · answered by just ask 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shes at that stage every teenage girl/boy goes through. but there are things that can be done to help with the situation. obviously you two havent developed a close relationship since she was born. its very important to get involved with you kids before the reach puberty so when they do you would already have a close relationship with her. well, what you should do is start off by asking her if she wants to go shopping or you should plan an activity for just the two of you. Like the salon or spa. whatever you think shes into. slowly get to talk to her, but dont try and get too personal..you need to wait until she opens up with you, but until then just try and spend as much time with her as possible, tell her about your past life and experiences and make her feel comfortable..eventually she'll open up to you and let you in on her "social life". good luck
2007-10-24 05:12:01 · answer #2 · answered by andres momma<3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's a teenager. She will come around eventually. She is just getting into the whole social scene. .Having friends probably starting high school. Everything is new for her. Just let her know you are around to listen whenever she needs an ear or a shoulder to lean on. Give her time and a little space, just ask her every once in while how she's doing, how is school. Don't smoother and get upset when she doesn't want to talk. Remember she is a teenager and they like to rebel.
Good Luck
2007-10-24 05:08:05 · answer #3 · answered by Shy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter isn't able to view you as anything but her mum.
Do you or have you related any of your teen experiences to her? Not just surface type issues, but those deep confusing feelings you encountered as a young teen girl.
She needs to feel there is a possibility that you might understand her feelings and without being judged.
When she does talk, do you find yourself offering solutions whether she ask for them or not? If so, then try just listening.
Ask yourself if you believe you have taught her to the best of your abilities then trust her to know when to use what she has learn. Chances are she will fall, but she fell when she was learning to walk (you help her up) and I'll bet she walks, real good now!
2007-10-24 05:22:47 · answer #4 · answered by Sandie B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The biggest mistake you made with your 14 year old daughter is letting her do what she wants. You should set some rules and guidelines for her. Keep the lines of communication open to her as you stated. Remember she is 14 not 18. 14 is a hard age for girls, I know, I went through it myself 9 years ago with my own daughter. It's going to be an emotional roller coaster if you don't get a handle on things. Good luck.
2007-10-24 05:18:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's 14 to me. It's a time when the importance of her peer's values escalate and replace family relationships. That is, what her friends think is more important than what her parents think. She might not like it- but plan a day for the two of you together, take her somewhere (with out her mobile is she has one) and have lunch together. After a while, she may open up to you. Show an interest in things she likes, and ask open-ended questions about her friends and her life.
2007-10-24 05:09:11 · answer #6 · answered by Monica O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shes a teenager. All kids who are teenagers naturally hate their parents.
Come on, you went through this too!!! You have to understand that when you're a teenager, think about all the stuff you go through in High School, we're not going to ask our "ancient" parents on how to cope w/ it, we'll ask someone who's already going through it.
The only reason you're there for, is when she asks you to be. It'd be kinda weird and dorky for your mom to be "your best friend."
I know all this b/c im 16 today, and im a sophomore in high school. So, im pretty sure my answer will probably be the most accurate. But i also try to include my parents as much as possible. :) Just try telling your daughter how left out you feel and maybe that'll make you feel better.
2007-10-24 05:08:21 · answer #7 · answered by Love. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shes 14 welcome to the teenage world. I assure you your not the only parent that goes through this! She is finding out who she is and her life is changing. She will be sleepy, depressed, happy, hungry, dieting and opinionated from here on out until she is 18. When she wants to open up to you she will. Just let her do her thing (as long as she isnt getting into trouble) remember you were once 14 to. She is going in to the dating years so make sure you have an open mind. If you give her strict rules she will just act out. Be mom, but be relaxed to.Give her breathing room. My mom always told me if I am at a party and someone and drinking or if my ride was to call her anytime at night and she would pick me up.My mom also never actually gave me a curfew. But I always had to let her know where I was who I was with and what time I expected to be home. I was allowed ,within reason, to do what I wanted and it made being rebellious less appealing.Dont be nieve in thinking she isnt going to experiment or drink but make sure she knows what can harm her and whats not acceptable.Also try to make it so she is allowed to have her friends over instead of going out or to another friends houses. It allows you to keep tabs on her and you can know what she is doing and who she is hanging out with. But everyone is different but dont try to understand or feel bad about whats going on. She will come to you as long as she feels like she can.
2007-10-24 05:16:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
"I love Michael forever" has kind of got it. All kids go through this.
But as parent you have to be the parent, you have to set bownderies and expectations. Communication as a parent for the what is acceptable and what is not. Communicate clearly the consequenses crossing bowndries or rules. Homework, chores, bedtime,....
Remind every once in a while you love her unconditionally and if she ever needs you, you will be there for her.
You can't be her best friend again probably, unless she desides that and it will not happen until she is much older.
2007-10-24 12:28:07 · answer #9 · answered by Chuck 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe shes started her period and not told you, broke up with a boyfriend you didn't know about. Just sit her down one night when she's come in from been with her friends and have some mother daughter time. She might just want to have fun with her friends. Us teenagers do go through times like that.
2007-10-24 05:07:52 · answer #10 · answered by x_Smartiiee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋