My teenage daughter would no longer talk to me?

Question

I do not understand, sometime she's chatting on phone and online with millions of people but she doesn't have time for her mum? She's always with her friends, ever since her turned 14 its like she's got her own social life where I'm not involved. Many times she looks confused and depressed but she never wants to talk when I was happy to... What should I do?

Answer 1

A teen's social life is their top priority, it seems. You've done nothing, and your daughter is normal.

Just let her know you love her, and give her a hug from time to time. In a few years, you will be the apple of her eye!

hugs

Answer 2

It's the age. With my teen, I figure if I get anything other than a grunt or a scowl, it means she's in a good mood. Teens often figure their parents won't understand what they're going through, even though we went through the same things at their age.

Try setting aside one night a week to do something just with her. If she has a favorite restaurant, take her there for dinner or just dessert. It might take a few trips before she starts to open up and talk to you about things. Don't nag, and don't push her for information. You basically have to work on re-establishing a relationship with her again. Talk to her about things that interest her. Ask her about her Myspace page (or better yet, ask her to help you set one up). If she has a cell phone, let her download a couple of new ringtones then go through the ringtones on your phones together. If she plays any computer or online games, ask her about her characters in those. (My daughter loves to tell me all about her characters in Sims 2 and how they're doing and relating to each other.)

The main point is, you need to come at her on her level, with her interests. You don't need to stop being her mom and become another friend, but you can build a relationship with her that she knows is a safe relationship. It just takes patience, concern and interest in her.