Why doesn't she listen ? Is it the terrible two's?

Question

My grandaughter is 2 &1/2 yrs old and with in the last three months she speaks in a mean and nasty tone when she is asked or told to do something. She has a 6 month old baby brother who she adores and loves. She does things she knows shes not to do and when corrected she goes into this hissy fit of screaming and crying. She spends so much time in the corner ( time out) and I can't for the life of me understand why. She was a sweet and loving girl and now she's sassy and mean.
Is she just spoiled ? Is it the two stage? Is it the new baby?

Any advice ?

It's to the point where I dread seeing her cause I don't know how she'll behave. How do I tell my daughter to correct this asap . No spankings please and time outs really aren't working either. My daughter and I are out of ideas HELP!

Answer 1

It's normal. She's testing her limits with you. Instead of timeouts, why don't you try giving her a chore to do? Fold washclothes, set the table, "sweep" the floor, wipe the table. These helped work for my little one. I also discovered that when her blood sugar was low, she would get an attitude. So, I'd give her a snack and within 20 minutes, she'd be back to normal. You can also ask the pediatrician for ideas. They do a lot for emotional development. She may also be very intelligent and just bored. Big brain trapped in a little person's body. Try some games and art that will help her learn. Hope it helps.

Answer 2

She is in the terrible two's, and yes, her little nose is probably a little bent out of shape because of the new baby. Because she doesn't get mom's undivided attention anymore, she is acting out, and doing anything she can to get that attention, whether it be negative or postivie, it is still attention. Mom needs to spend special time alone with the 2 year old every day if possible. Also, it is imperative that mom be consistant with the discipline so the child does not get mixed messages, which will confuse her, and cause her to act out.
Special time with grandma and grandpa, without the baby, I think would also be helpfull. She is just trying to find her little place in the family dynamics, and kids are no dummies, they want to be the center of attention all the time. It is also very difficult to reason with a 2 year old, they just don't quite get it yet. It does help also, to distract the 2 year old with a game, or a toy, when she starts getting out of hand.

When she has a tantrum, simply ignore her. When she doesn't get the response she wants, she will stop. Also make sure she is rewarded in some way for any good behavior. (Even just praise and a hug can go a long way). It also helps to get down on the floor to her level, and look her in the eye, and make her look at you in the eye, and try and understand her feelings, and help her through play, to understand what her frustrations are right now. I agree that spanking is not the answer, unless she does something to endanger herself and the baby, then a swat on the butt is appropriate. As far as the sassy and mean behavior, just let her know it is unacceptable, and until she can speak to you or her mom nicely, she will not get what she wants. She is learning that behavior somewhere. Do mom and dad argue in front of the children? That is a big NO NO. Kids pick up on that right away, and will mimick the behaviors. It also makes the children feel insecure.

Patience is virtue, and she will eventually outgrow this phase, as her understanding and reasoning abilities develop.

Good luck. I hope this helps

Answer 3

I would say its the new baby and she is in the "terrible two's" which is just a description for normal child rebellion which happens around the time they start talking and becoming more independent, she is testing to see how far she can go. She is trying to get attention and she is. All of the attention you are giving her with the time outs and talking to her is giving her what she feels she is lacking. Have you and your daughter tried spending some alone time with just her and not the new baby? Make a special playdate with her and do her favorite thing, but if she acts up then take her home immediately and say "We will not do this (whatever the activity is) when you are not being nice with me and not listening to me", be firm even she has a tantrum do not bend. I think after a few times of her losing out on the fun she will get the message and the behavior should start to turn around. Yes it is bribing, but sometimes you have to bribe if the rest of the stuff isn't working.

Spanking does not work, I know for a fact that most kids will ignore it at 2 to 3. My son was always well behaved so I do not believe that all kids go through this. But I did give him a lot of attention and set firm boundaries of what he could and could not do. Now, he went through this phase when his new brother was born. I just had to make a special date for us and his dad did the same. It is amazing how fast his attitude changed!

Mom to a 7yr old and 10 month old

Answer 4

Is is MY daughter your talking about !?! LOL I swear my daughter did this too. I would say it's a combination of being 2, a new baby & being spoiled....

If time outs aren't working and you don't wanna swat on the bottom...you need to try other things. I would suggest taking away a favorite toy until behavior improves, or a tv. program....it could also be that the "time out" is too comfortable. That's not punishment if it they can ENJOY it. If she's fine with the corner....change her location...don't let her play with her hands, feet or toys while in time out...and her time shouldn't start until she's calm (not crying or screaming) in the corner (so it may take longer than 3 minutes). My niece has to sit on the edge of a chair...and my son sits on the edge of his bed with his hands folded. Different things work for different kids. You have to try other things to see what works as punishment.

ALSO, this is very important that you sit her down and explain to her why she's in trouble for acting a certain way (as soon as punishment is over) and tell her how that behavior isn't acceptable. And make sure that no matter where she goes the same punishment is used for the same behavior...it doesn't work to let her act that way in public or over a friend's house (or even your house) simply because you don't want to embarrass her. She'll figure it out sooner simply from the embarrassment.

And no matter what you do...consistancy is the key. You have to keep working with her, and keep reminding her why she can't do something. ALSO have mom spend time alone with her. It could be that she's wanting some more attention to make her feel special. (I like to plan "spa days" for my daughter & me - a simple bubble bath in our home with music & candles...and I paint her nails etc)

Good luck.

Answer 5

It might just be that she isn't getting enough attention. And when kids aren't getting enough attention, what do they do? They become destructive because bad attention is better than no attention at all! Especially with a new baby, tell your daughter to make sure toddler has mommy time too with and without the new baby. Get toddler involved like helping mommy fold towels or loading the dishwasher (it will be more work for mommy than help but the important thing is to include toddler) Toddler needs to feel needed and wanted, and getting her involved with every day chores and things to do she will get what she needs and maybe be less destructive.

Try that and see if it helps. Also, the terrible two stage might be part of it. My daughter is such an angel but she will be 2 in December and she's already screaming and throwing fits every day. ugh....good luck! I hope it helps.

Answer 6

It's the terrible 2's. This too shall pass, and she'll be a sweet little girl again. :) I would get a calendar and tell her that every time she is good at the end of the day she can have a sticker and if she gets her stickers at the end of the week she can have something special. My son is 2 1/2 also and I've started this with him and he's been a little better. Of course I don't have a 6 month old baby, but it's all the same terrible 2's.

Answer 7

I had the same problem but with my son. My mother got to the point that she had us move out of her house because of my son's behavior and he was 2. Well from what I know is that some children will have stronger tempers than others. It's a stage I think that some not all children go through. My son is now 5 and he still gives me problems but not as much as he did then. I have 3 kids and what me and my mother do is once in a while when I need a break, she will take one of them off my hands. I have bonded better when there is a one on one moment with just one child and no siblings around. Maybe that will help you from seeing that mean side of her. As far as my kids, I know what you mean, the spanking and time outs dont work. Good Luck.

Answer 8

i'm a modern infant instructor in a childcare facility. The unfavourable 2's are in basic terms as you defined "unfavourable". one component which you're doing is to not supply in, stable interest. lots of our mothers and fathers would be unable to do this and it shows of their babies. What has been working for us is a time table. A strict time table of while lunch, nap, storytime, ect. is. the youngsters be attentive to what to assume and that i think they get well greater promptly. additionally as quickly as we've important meltdowns, various the circumstances, going exterior for a short volume of time to play or take a walk calms them down. stable success and don't issue, you're actually not a unfavourable verify. I see the unfavourable 2's conventional. you're doing great!

Answer 9

well yes the 2's can be a reason why she having all the hissy fits, and doing things she told not too. the new baby will probably just make it where she is a lil fussy too, where she feels she is getting replaced or something. even thou spanking sounds unhuman, sometimes its the only way to put a point threw. but if you don't punish her there is no way of her getting any better, its up to you to decide if she is getting spoiled. no one can tell you that unless they are there.

Answer 10

It's the terrible twos.

Two things I have found work when the hissy fits start. One is to let them just have their fit, and do not react. Do not even look. They are looking for attention, even if it is in the form of punishment. It gives them the control.

The second thing, and you might feel silly doing this, but mimic their hissy fit. If they get on the floor and kick, get on the floor and kick. If they start screaming, start screaming exactly how they are. She will stop, think you look silly, and she (even though she may not make any comment about it) will realize that she looks silly too.