If not possible to trust anyone 100% what is appropriate? My bf of 3 years makes me feel that he does not trust me at all I know I made a mistake in the past and he forgave me for it but I am scared to answer his questions because I feel like it will turn into an arguement. I want things to work but I don't know how much more I can take. What are the chances he may seek revenge on me for what I did 3 years ago? Is he in it to make something of it or is he waiting to hurt me?
2007-10-24 04:30:17 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
IT'S NOT SO MUCH THAT I DON'T ANSWER HIM HONESTLY I AM ONLY AFRAID TO, BUT I DO.
2007-10-24 04:47:28 · update #1
Wow... trust, that's a big issue.
Can you trust anyone 100%, no. Everybody is a human being, we all make mistakes. If we didn't we would be Gods. Since we are not, then let's start from there. If you can't trust 100%, then would you take 85%? How about 65%? 50%? What is your comfort zone, and can you really put a number value to it??
What if you had a friend that forgave you for making a mistake, helped you when you needed them and didn't ask for anything in return... would you trust them? Start with simple things, and learn from that.
Does the bf, carry out the trash? If so, then he is paying attention to details. Does he fix things when they break (like a car, or a computer, or with a meal)? Then he is talented, and willing to help if he can. Does he talk with you? If so, then maybe he's open minded to answer a few questions...
So ask him lots of questions. If you feel he doesn't trust you, then ask him why he doesn't trust you. Make him understand how you are feeling about this. Tell him you are afraid of him (a little bit) and tell him why. If he is a decent person, he will go out of his way to try and make you feel less threatened and more confident in him and in yourself (let's face it, confidence is sexy and all guys want their women to be sexy). If he doesn't do this, then maybe you might want to put some space between yourself & him.
If you can get feedback (positive or negative) on this, then you will know where you both stand and make the best decision as to what you can and should do. Hanging in Limbo is the worst thing, so go and provoke a response and see what happens. You never know, this could make your relationship stronger and better!
2007-10-24 04:47:57 · answer #1 · answered by Mr Unknowable 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I personally don't think it's possible to trust anyone 100%, but perhaps that's my insecurities. I reckon 95% is a good number to aim for.
I think if your boyfriend was going to seek revenge he would have done it by now. I would imagine he really wants to be with you if he's stuck around since your mistake. He might be bitter about it though - sometimes these betrayals take a while to get over.
2007-10-24 04:37:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When that trust is broken..or taken for granted, use and abused YES it is very difficult to trust 100%..One needs to be strong and move on to what is ahead in present time. I am a big believer in second chances...The signs are there if it is meant to be in your life. Stop lingering on the past mistakes and focus on today.
2007-10-24 04:37:49 · answer #3 · answered by !@#$% 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course not!! I had a friend for 5 years and we didnt trust each other....it eventually ended....but dont let that happen to you! :) If he hasnt forgiven you I think you guys should have a talk...because there is no relationship without trust. I think he was hurt by what you did and cant trust you again. Once you do something hurtful to someone its very hard for them to trust you again. Good luck!
2007-10-24 04:37:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once trust is broken, its the most difficult to gain back 100%.
Your BF prolly wants to trust you again, but subconsciously
just can't bring himself to do so.
I have an aunt & uncle who had their trust broken 27 years ago
and til this day, my aunt says she can't trust him.
Your scenario can go only one of two ways.
1> it remains the same
2> he will gain an increased distrust of you, until you feel
suffocated, until the relationship disintegrates
Just ask yourself if that is what you are willing to live with.
If not, move on with your separate lives.
Whatever you decide, good luck.
2007-10-24 04:36:32 · answer #5 · answered by babybeefcake 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you can't tell him the truth when he asks you questions because it will be an arguement, you have major issues in your relationship. nobody waits around for 3 years just to hurt someone else.
if you can't be honest with him there is a serious problem. start answering his questions honestly. what are you doing that you can't tell him honestly? i don't blame him for not trusting you if you don't answer his questions honestly.
you can only trust a person 100% if they are 100% honest. I trust my BF 99.99999 percent. in most things. but not when he says he is going to insulate the attic this weekend.
if you are not 100% honest with your bf, he will not trust you 100%.
it starts with you.
2007-10-24 04:35:06 · answer #6 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Trust is so important. If you are worried that things are not going well now, they probably are not going to get a whole lot better. If he truly forgave you for whatever happened, he should work to get past that. Trust is earned, when it is lost, it takes a long time to get back.
2007-10-24 04:34:00 · answer #7 · answered by vaya 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-04 12:02:34 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think positive, but have some reservations in all your dealings. You can only trust GOD 100% but not to humans.
As the saying goes:
People are for you today, they may be against you tomorrow so do not be so foolish as to rely too much on these changeable creatures.
You and I are all humans and very changeable.
Real love binds you together but not sex.
2007-10-24 04:40:28 · answer #9 · answered by rene c 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know EXACTLY how you feel. Im in the same situation of my bf of 5 years, and I did something that upset him that hes had a hard time letting go of. When he even seemed over it, he would use it in arguments as leverage. Hes starting to completley let go of it now though, it just takes some time. Hang in there and just take the blows.
2007-10-24 04:33:41 · answer #10 · answered by chevalrose 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋