I am getting married soon and I have 2 fathers. 1 father is a very big part of my life (raised me as his own) and 1 father that I have never really been close to. He moved out of state when I was 11. I only see him every couple years. I want to include my out - of - state father however, my dad that raised me is walking me down the aisle and I want to have my 'father - daughter - dance' with him. My out-of-state father knows I'm getting married and hasn't made many comments and hasn't even offered to help in any way. any suggestions?
2007-10-24 04:21:31 · 20 answers · asked by Kate 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
why would you bother with the out-of -state father? He doesn't sound like he cares.
2007-10-24 06:16:48 · answer #1 · answered by Ashley M 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would still invite the out of state father to your wedding and maybe just have him dance with you later on. If he loves you he will see that you want your other father to be a bigger part then he is by sitting back and letting him have control (like the cost,walk down the aisle, and first dance) He probably is just happy you are including him in the wedding but nothing more
2007-10-24 13:09:24 · answer #2 · answered by Stephanie S 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Make sure the dad that you are truly close to gets to be a part of the important father/daughter things. You can include you real dad in these also if you so choose. If he has never been a big part of your life, then invite him as just a guest. If you want to do something to spot light him, then do a second father/daughter dance with him after your dad who raised you. It is so common these days to be in your situation, that it can be easily worked out.
2007-10-24 11:39:03 · answer #3 · answered by vaya 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Kate you are very fortunate to have the man who raised you as his own and have made a good decision regarding having him walk you down the aisle. As for you out of state dad he can always have a dance with you later on and perhaps make some kind of little speech. I wouldn't hold your breath waiting for your out of state dad to offer any financial assistance with your wedding but he should certainly be invited. You may want to ask him directly if he can help you with the costs but if not needed, but if not be happy that you are at least having him there to watch you walk down the aisle. Best of luck and a very long and happy marriage is wished for you and your partner.
2007-10-24 11:31:37 · answer #4 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Since the dad that raised you is walking you in, Have the out of state dad do a reading at the ceremony. You can also have 2 dad dances if you want. One can be sappy for (the aisle escort) and the other can be fun/lighthearted/generic (for the out of state dad) Or you can just do one official dad dance with your step dad, and then unofficially dance with the other one to a song when everyone else is dancing.
2007-10-25 03:00:50 · answer #5 · answered by JM 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as if you have made some very good choices. Your father that has raised you is the Father of your Life. The out of state father is a guest. He really has no "special" part in your life, (sadly) and there is no other place for him but as a guest. You are doing wonderful! Blessings to you, Chaplain Debby
2007-10-25 19:26:15 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have both fathers walk you down aisle, and dance with the father that you are closest to 1st, then dance with the other if you choose to. Remember, anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a DAD.
2007-10-24 11:39:17 · answer #7 · answered by kra_z_mom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your out-of-state dad doesn't care about it because he hasn't said much about it. He hasn't been a big part of your life so why try bending over backwards to make him feel like he's a big part of it? He might assume that he will get to walk you down the isle but if that's the case then he needs a wake up call. You can invite him to the wedding if you want, but you don't have to make him equal to your other dad. In fact, just inviting him is probably a big enough deal. My cousin doesn't want her father at her wedding because he had affairs while married to her mom (my aunt) and then divorced her and forgot about his kids. She doesn't want him to be there and I don't blame her. You situation is a little different, but you might have to step on toes.
2007-10-24 11:36:21 · answer #8 · answered by Rockit 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd have the father who raised you walk you down the aisle and for the father/daughter dance. You can give your biological dad a special place of honor in the church and reception if you want. Also, if you wish to dance a special dance with him, do so, but honor the man who brought you up and seems to be involved with and paying for the wedding, the main place of honor out of love and respect for him. Discuss your feelings with your mom and step dad.
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding.
2007-10-24 11:26:39 · answer #9 · answered by dddanse 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
OMG! I'm going through the exact same thing! My stepfather is wonderful and will be walking me down the aisle along with my mother--my father daughter dance will be split amongst the men who have been a father figure, my father, my stepfather, and 3 uncles :) Good luck!
2007-10-24 13:26:07 · answer #10 · answered by carpediem1103 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know how u feel about it u want your real dad there but the one that raised but invite ur real dad but have the one that raised u to walk u down the aisle but do your father daughter dance with your real father and the one that raised you should understand the whole thing
2007-10-24 14:00:11 · answer #11 · answered by cordarius4show 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋