My son is 5 years old. He saw his dad maybe 12-15 times total. The last time was about 10 months ago. He is aware of who he is, but did not have a bond with him on a day-to-day basis. However, he has created a "bond" with his dad in his head...idolizing him and speaking proudly of his dad (he refers to him by his first name followed by dad...e.g. "my Brian dad") We have not talked about his dad in about 1-2 months, and he has not asked about him recently. My question is, should my son attend the service? He will be cremated.
2007-10-24 04:17:00 · 7 answers · asked by mpk33 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think that it might be a good idea for you to talk with your son about his father's death. I have found a couple of articles for you, in case you're interested.
It might be a good idea to take your son to the memorial ceremony. Even though his father wasn't "there" for him that often, from what you say, he appears to have loved his father. The memorial may be a good way for him to preserve the memory for your son.
I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. It has to be difficult. I sure hope you get some good answers here. Bless you and your son.
take care.
2007-10-24 04:29:03 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice would be yes he should attend. If you don't let him, it may backfire on you with him coming back later in life asking why he wasn't allowed to attend his dad's funeral. Whether they were close or not. If nothing else, explain to him what has happened and let him make the choice. That may actually be the best way to go. And that way, you'll have no regrets!
2007-10-24 11:21:25 · answer #2 · answered by lisaandpathailey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The choice is up to you and your mate. I personally don't think he going to remember or recognize what is a funeral or cremation. However, later on you will have to explain to him why is biological father didn't try to come see him. Also, I want to congratulate your mate for stepping up and being a father to your little dude.
2007-10-24 11:27:50 · answer #3 · answered by Kaya M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. I don't think he should coz', it'll profit him nothing. Just tell him his dad passed out, and have a discussion with him. That'll help him get through anything. Cremating is not a pleasant thing to see for a kid
2007-10-24 11:26:43 · answer #4 · answered by Nobody 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a mother myself, I say, yes, allow him to attend. This way he can come to terms with why his father will never be seen again. I understand that they technically have no relationship, but, like you said, he does in his own little head. Allow him the time to grieve.
2007-10-25 02:31:17 · answer #5 · answered by Kim D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is his biological father. Your son should have the right to say his goodbys, even though he wasnt around as much as you would have liked him to be. If you were in your sons shoes, wouldn't you want to say goodby one last time?
2007-10-24 11:21:30 · answer #6 · answered by princess-one 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this should help with the grief xxx
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Don't-give-a-fuckism
2007-10-24 11:21:33 · answer #7 · answered by Garry M 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋