why is everyone afraid to spar these days?

Question

in my club im the youngest one there, im 14 and the rest are about 25-30, and basisacly, there are about 3-4 people willing to spar and go realy hard, which i like as this is the only way i will learn but there are some people that just make excuses as they dont want to, they say they forgot there gloves but its blaintant that they have it in the bag

i dont know why they wont even spar with me, im only 14 but there rather do thier streches or forms

Answer 1

for one thing, if they are experienced, they may not want the liability of hurting a minor.

for another, they may be professionals of some sort and don't want to get an accidental black eye or anything that would affect their work image - careers and mortgages are important once you finish college and pay your own bills.

The other people at your gym have made a personal choice and you can't try to change their mind. Just respect those decisions.

if they are just there for the excellent exercise martial arts has to offer, maybe you should take the initiative to work with your instructors for a sparring-focused class or find a school with more members/students who are focused on the same kind of training you are.

Answer 2

Lots of good answers here.

I have to say Opinionated Kitty answers have been getting better and better lately.

Anyway, to mirror what others say, a lot of it is commitment and why you are there.

I see this a lot with Martial Arts, especially competetive ones. Some people are there for simple enjoyment from doing the exercise, learning the forms, etc. Some people are there more.

We used to talk about this is far as the difference between a recreational club and a competetive club, and trying to find the balance.

Recreational clubs will get you more money, people who are there simply for the enjoyment, the artistic side, or just the exercise side are going to be your biggest draw. They are able to do a Martial Art without having to go through the intense exertion that it would take to be competetive. There are more people who want to take it easy then go hard.

Competetive people want to train hard, want to get pushed to their limit because precisely as another answerer said, they are combat driven. Or at the very least driven to test their skills and improve upon them. However there are far fewer people of that ilk then there are of the recreational type.

So you compromise. You don't push the people who don't want to be pushed, and you push the people who want to be pushed hard as possible. That is how a good dojo or school is ran.

Obviously those who spar will have a greater grasp of the technique in an alive manner, they will be more effecient in actually employing that technique in a fight than someone who never spars it.

However, real fights are few and far between and easily avoidable. Ultimately those who do it recreationally will be able to do it longer than those who do it intensely, as they don't put nearly as much strain on their body.

It is a toss up really. It all depends on your reasons. There is nothing wrong with those people who don't spar, they just do it for a different reason. They can easily coast their way through, and will still be promoted, still gain a knowledge but never have pushed it. Ultimately their effeciency is questionable, but they still have enjoyment, activity, and stress relief. They just lack effeciency at the combat aspect of an art. That is the trade off.

Eventually we all become that, as you get older and older, eventually you will become that old guy on the corner who works forms, hits a bag, and practices at a lighter intensity. So enjoy your body and your ability to push yourself now, it pays off in combat effeciency as well as cardiovascularly.

One day you won't be able to spar, and will have to look elsewhere to get the same satisfaction from Martial Arts.

Answer 3

I doubt they are afriad and would guess that they don't want to spar with a 14 year old - you need to find people your own age and strength to spar with. There is no value for a 25 to 30 year old sparring with a 14 year old - they are going to have to pull their punches all the time.

Answer 4

Not everybody goes into the martial arts for the same reason. While you obviously are very combat-oriented in your training, other people are more interested in the artistic aspects, i.e. perfecting technique. Others just want to develop speed and flexibility, etc...
I'm not denying you should be able to apply what you've learned, otherwise you might as well be doing Tai-Chi (not that there's anything wrong with that), but to think of martial arts as only fighting is a bit of a narrow view.
You shouldn't worry so much about what other people are doing that. All you need to concentrate on is why you're there and what you're interested in learning. But don't be too quick to dismiss all the other aspects of the arts. It's a lost vaster than just fighting.

Answer 5

you are right and you are wrong.

I can understand them not wanting to spar WITH YOU because you are a minor and they might be afraid of liability.

however I think it is utter foolishness that they are afraid to or don't want to spar at all.

is this 3-4 out of how many?

out of 5? 6? if thats the case its a problem with those one or two students who would rather LARP (live action role play) than spar or train with resistance.

if it is out of 30 you got a problem with the school and I would strongly suggest you find another place to train.

quite frankly, if no one there is going to spar with you I would suggest you find a school with teenagers that you can spar with.

EDIT: you also do have to realize that not everyone is going to want to or be able to go really hard every class. while it is reality that that is the only way to really make sure you are learning, using it as a sort of "test" to see if you are training properly and applying techniques properly is also good. I think it is necessary to do light contact sparring as well for the same reason it is necessary to do progressive resistance drills as opposed to going all out prior to even understanding the mechanics of a technique.

think of it like that. just going hard without bieng able to do the technique is pointless and will just result in you using your natural physical skills as opposed to applying technique. I think you do need to go hard, but if you are saying that you want to do it every class (well depends upon when your school meets) that might not be the best thing for your training too, depending upon your experience, what you are learning and your level.

Also it is true that grappling schools and arts are capable of going at 100% every class because there is less risk of injury than a school that incorporates striking arts. IMO that is one of the benefits of a grappling style over a striking style. If you want to train 100% every time then I strongly suggest you train in a grappling art as well or instead of your current striking art.

Answer 6

Everyone takes martial arts for different reasons, and that is okay. Some people don't have the confidence to spar in front of other people. Help your training partners to feel comfortable and confident instead of judging them and you will most likely have more people to spar with. Many people take martial arts to get in shape (or for a variety of other reasons) and have no intention of ever competing or sparring...we need to respect that, even if it's not the reason we are there.

EDIT: Thanks for copying and pasting my answer, sathyanarayanan k . . . not okay!

Answer 7

Ok first realize that at 14 your age places a big responsibility on everyone. You have to work with the conditions that are placed on you, not against. This way you can find ways to make it all work for you and the ones you want to train with. You need to warm up to folks to get them to sway your way thru a mutual understanding of each others goals.
This is why you stay at a gym and don't move around alot.

Answer 8

Maybe you are not a good sparring partner. If you spastic then it is not good sparring. Go 80% and see if get more people willing to spar you.

Answer 9

i cannot beleive some of the answers above-idiots!!. i admire your courage ash-i am the same in sparring as well as receiving pain i administer it-the difference being that my sparring partner knows what to expect and he dishes out the same. but i choose my sparring partner carefully-as one other poster correctly observed-some people are not into martial arts for the combat-they like the patterns etc and you have to respect this like i do. there are plenty of people who can give you a hard few rounds-but ask them first.

Answer 10

Everyone takes martial arts for different reasons, and that is okay. Some people don't have the confidence to spar in front of other people. Help your training partners to feel comfortable and confident instead of judging them and you will most likely have more people to spar with. Many people take martial arts to get in shape (or for a variety of other reasons) and have no intention of ever competing or sparring...we need to respect that, even if it's not the reason we are there