Thank you cards for wake attendees?

Question

It was mentioned to me that it was wrong of me not to have yet sent out thank you cards to attendees of my loved one's wake. I really meant to, but have honestly not had the time to do it. We thanked everyone we greeted at the wake, and truly appreciate everyone's support and cards. I have all the cards that people gave, however, not everyone wrote an address and I don't know many of the names.

I have only occassionally received a thank you after attending a wake, but have never thought it was inappropriate not receiving one. What is proper in this situation?

Thank you.

Answer 1

Don't worry. When if/you feel like writing or calling to thank people for their support, you may do so. If you don't, don't feel guilty about it. I'm wondering which friend or family member told you "it was wrong" that you hadn't done it? That person is not terribly supportive.

Several years ago, I lost my husband and sister in quick succession, six weeks apart. So many people sent flowers, came to the funerals, etc., but after that I spent at least a year in a complete fog. I never wrote to thank anyone. I felt terrible about it for a while, but it seemed like the more time that went by the more unable I became to do it. It was unlike me not to write -- I was raised in the south and was taught always to write thank-you notes. You know the joke, don't you? Why don't southern girls like group s**x? Too many thank-you notes. LOL.

Then I decided to let it go and trust that people understood. Having gone through terrible losses like that I am much more compassionate about how people react when there is a death in the family. I don't judge anything people say or do. Good luck, and God bless.

Answer 2

I would never expect a card to say thank you for attending a wake. I don't think you should worry about it.
They should thank you not only for the hospitality you have given then but also for giving them the opportunity to pay their last respects to your loved one.

Card companies make too much money anyway!

Answer 3

This is a difficult time for you and family. Anyone that has visited you at the wake surely understands that aspect.

If you haven't collected the strength to start this project, pray for courage and strength. God is with you during the good times and sad. He will provide a streak of courage to face the chore of writing and give you discernment to write words of thanks and appreciation.

It is never too late to thank anyone for their support and/or gifts in your difficult time. When you are ready to respond, think about all those who stepped in to visit you at the low time to give you support and you will feel God's energy fill you.

If someone leaves a gift, it is most appropriate to thank them in writing. Although I even wrote out cards to friends who called and sent cards in the mail, because I was touched by their words and thoughts at the time.

Respond when you are ready and as completely as you can. Don't be afraid to ask a good friend or relative to help address the envelopes. They should leap at the opportunity to pay honor to your loved one in this special way.

Answer 4

There is absolutely no reason to send a card and nobody will expect one.

Answer 5

No, I never did either, I think it is optional, if you want, fine. I think the thanks while they were there was enough. Save the card thanks for those that brought a dish, or gave you money or sent flowers.

Answer 6

No, I have never received one either. You are going through enough, don't worry about this.