When I was 14, my Mum met my stepdad. When I was 16, they got married. We've lived together for about 4yrs now, but since we moved in together, he's been non-stop overprotective about me. When they met, I was in a relationship with a guy, but because he didn't like him, he ruined the relationship between me and my boyfriend. Since then, he has forbid me to have a relationship.
I have given up so much because of him: I stopped going to church because everytime I came home from church he would give me an inquisition about why I believe in God and why I go, I stopped seeing all my friends, I haven't had a relationship for 3 years now. I just feel so trapped. I can't do anything without his sayso. Even if my attitude supposedly changes, he questions me about who I'm seeing behind his back.
I just need a solution. I even keep thinking about walking outta the house & not looking back, but It's not exactly the most mature way of handling this.
2007-10-24 01:52:18 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is what jumped out at me in your question. "He questions me about who I'm seeing behind his back". This is not normal, far from it. You are college age and you should be encouraged to date, have friends and test the waters of adulthood. His controlling this part of your life is inappropriate and frankly, scary. Does your mother just go along with this? Surely she knows this isn't right. Does he do this to her too?
I think you are living in an abusive household, and this man is psychologically and emotionally enslaving you. It almost sounds as if he thinks he is your husband, is there more to the story?
You have to get out of there. Please find a safe place to go and never go back. Your instinct is right.
2007-10-24 02:06:09 · answer #1 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that you need to speak with your mother about this and tell her that if this doesn't stop then it will also wreck your relationship with her. He is not your father and he shouldn't be acting that way (in my opinion). He also should not be interfering with your relationships or whether you choose to go to church or not.
I think that you really need to get this straightened out once and for all and the best way to do it is to speak with your mom and have her deal with it. Otherwise you could confront him directly by sitting down with him and having your mother present.
Also you should be heading off soon to College or University and that would be your way out of the house without confronting either of them. Personally I have a step-mom too and I told her early on that she should not be interfering with my life or giving me any kind of order.
Good Luck!
2007-10-24 01:57:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to your mom about it? If not you need to! You are 18 years old, a legal adult, if you still live at home, then yes you still have to follow their rules but, that does not include who you see when you leave the house. You should start going to church again, and if you can maybe try and get an apartment, find a roommate if you need to.
2007-10-24 01:59:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now you are concidered an adult so you problly need to get a job, a boyfriend, gain your friends back, and have your own life back. Its not like he's your dad, all you have to doi s give him respect, nothing more,nothing less. Or you can try to sit down and have a conversation with him about why is he like that and why he cares ever so much. Try to bond and gain his trust to let you grow.
2007-10-24 03:30:30 · answer #4 · answered by Cutie chick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your stepdad is doing right. actually he loves you. You are still young, he dont want you to get any bad influence. all you have to do is just finish your study, get a career and that time, you can walk out of the house as a mature girl. your mom and stepdad will be proud of you.
2007-10-24 02:11:06 · answer #5 · answered by LadyAnis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your step dad has an unhealthy obsession with you. Is your mom aware of this? You deserve to have your own life and if your mom won't step in and help you, you should leave and start a life on your own and not look back until your mom leaves this ******.
2007-10-24 02:09:58 · answer #6 · answered by Go Bears! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be practical.. study well and then try to get married and get rid of your parents as soon as possible.. because .. the intention of your stepdad not seems to be good...
2007-10-24 01:57:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to take action as soon as possible. i think your step dad fancies you and might be upto no good. he is behaving as if he is your boyfriend by being very jealous. from personal experience,do something,tell your mum together with your step dad. you need to tell him off immediately before he starts flirting with you or even worse... rape you.
am sori but that happened to someone i know.
that man could be out to sleep with you!
2007-10-24 02:24:24 · answer #8 · answered by Tyrika 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you talked to your mom about it? She might stand by you. Tell her how he's making you feel, but tell him too. Talk to him and ask him why he does this? If he doesnt listen, well...then get your resources together and move out.
2007-10-24 01:57:36 · answer #9 · answered by chevalrose 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋