How do I help my boyfriend when his dad has cancer?

Question

I have been with him for 3 years and he's always been the one to comfort me when things in my life went wrong.
Up until recently, he's never been truely unhappy.
The thing is, his dad has got very ill with bowel cancer, we only found out a few days ago.
I'm finding it so hard because I have never seen this side of him. I know how hard it is to cure cancer, I have already lost my aunt to it... She was about 30 years younger than his dad and she didn't survive it.
I keep trying to tell him his dad will pull through but I think he knows I'm just trying to give him some hope.
It doesn't help that I now live about 300 miles from him and don't get to see him like I used to.
It's awful for me to because his dad is like a dad to me.. and my boyfriend is really close to his dad, I don't know what is going to happen if he doesn't make it through cancer...
I'm not sure if something as devastating as this is going to cause him to change or us to seperate because he can't cope..

Answer 1

He doesn't need to focus on the disease. He needs to focus on the time that he has with his dad. Cancer isn't a death sentence. He has to pull it together and be strong for his dad, and you need to be strong for him. Make every moment count, every second. Don't focus on dying focus on living. All of you need to do this. Make it count.

Answer 2

Its only been 3days, let him get used to it. There are several good books out there on dealing with the emotional effects of dealing with cancer or other traumatic events. WHEN BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE, is one of them, but you can search on Amazon and get others.

I would simply tell him that you are sorry this is happening and you are there to listen. Then do so. Don't tell him his dad is going to be alright, because there is a good chance he won't be. While its natural to tell someone what you did, its the wrong thing to do in the face of reality. Let him lead the conversation, encourage him to continue his daily life, and encourage him to spend all the time he can with his dad.

In reality, he would be facing this whether it was now or 30years from now, we all die. Its a natural process and nothing to be afraid of. People die when its their time, if its his fathers time, then its his time. If its not, then he'll pull through.

I'm sorry this is happening to your loved ones right now, take one day at a time.

Answer 3

Just let him know you are there for him, there is probably nothing you can say right now that would make everything better so just tell him if he needs you - you"re there for him call anytime he wants it doesn't matter what time and if he needs you by his side find a way to be there.

Answer 4

This man is dealing with his father's illness, and all you can think about is how it will effect you. You're telling him that his dad will pull through, with the truth is that you don't know that at all. You live 300 miles away and you don't see the man that often, yet you're still trying to hold on to him with your weak expression of concern. He's better off without you, girlfriend!

Answer 5

Just tell him .. that the fate .. the god wish .. no one stop..every one has to through some hazards..But in our case some miracle will happen.. say some thing to make him as cool as possible

Answer 6

why dont u visit the christembassy healing school, the website is www.christembassyhealingschool.org or tune in to loveworld christian network on sattellite, miracles still happen u know i've seen lots of them.

Answer 7

It is normal for you to worry about him and his happiness. However, this is one of those times where you just need to be there and let it happen. This is life and there is much more ahead!