Last week, my boyfriend proposed. I'm 23, he's 27. I was so happy and loved the ring. But a couple of days ago, I accidently came across documents and the recipt from the jewellers he got my ring from, and was shocked to find out the ring cost just over 10 grand. Worried he had taken out a loan or something, and would probably get into debt, I told him what i'd found. He then said to me "Don't worry about it, I used my savings". He'd saved up that money since he started his first job, and now most of it's gone. I know he was the one who choose to spend that much, but I feel so guilty everytime I look at my ring. I love my ring, but a ring isn't what's important to me. I want him to return my ring so he gets his savings back. I want him to spend the money on himself and do things he enjoys, as he's the one the earnt it. But I don't know how to tell him that. Am I being ungratefull?
2007-10-24 00:04:50 · 40 answers · asked by smr 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
You are not being selfish, a selfish person would have wanted the ring no matter what it cost her fiance.
I totally understand how you feel, my fiance cashed in most of his savings to buy my ring too. I had nightmares for weeks about losing or breaking it lol.
You man wants to give you this as a symbol of his love, and yes, it is a damn expensive symbol! lol But perhaps giving you a beautiful ring you love IS doing something he enjoys with his money.
However, I'm nothing if practical lol and to me it seems a tad reckless to decide to start a life with someone and then spend so much money which you will doubtlessly need later down the road.
Talk to him, tell him how you feel about him spending all his savings,. You obviously love and care a great deal for him to be willing to give up your ring, and it will be obvious that you are coming from a place of love.
Good luck, and congratulations on getting engaged :)
2007-10-24 00:18:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ungrateful?? NO! you are thinking of him rather than you, now here is some advice (unsolicited) you are about to be amrried so you should really care more about him spending the money carelessly, if indeed that is all of his savings. Rather than wishing he would spend the money on is own hobies activiteis, etc., you have to start thining as a couple rather than two individuals. I would be more concerned that he spenr his alst penny and has not planned ahead for how he will take care of you, or more concerned that 10K in the bank is a good buffer for newlyweds to ahve in case of emergency
You are a kind, sweet person to bot want him to spend so much money on you. It shows that you have good moral charachter, but I think his feelings would be hutr if you asked him to return the rin, he has already OBVIOUSLY given the issue much much thought. He is buying you a symbol of his love for you, for eternity. It is (hopefully) a once in a lifetime purchase. People (I won't say ALWAYS) but often overextend and over spend when it comes to this meaningful purchase.
In any event 10k is NOT really a whole lot of money for a ring, but that is relative to each individual. You say the ring does not matter, would you ahve been jsut as excited if he bought you a cheap cluster diamond on the worst cutm color and clasiryt from walmart for $800.
I could not agree more with the suggestion that you insure the ring, although I am not sure I can agree that homeowners does not carry jewelry, it just has a maximul py out value, When I lost a pair of earings i learned that my insuance had a max paout on jewlery of 10K, so from that day on we did add a rider for all important and expesnive pieces of jewerly.
wear your ring with pride, it will be in your life and a part of you forever and even past your life. If you have children your osn can give it to is fiance or (to make absolute surre it stays in the family you can give it to your daughter when she marries.
it is a pricelss gift and one you should be proud of it and of your future hubbie
2007-10-24 00:40:19 · answer #2 · answered by dreamwhip 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He wanted to buy you that ring. It was important enough to him to go ahead and spend that money on you.
You have probably already embarassed him by telling him you found the reciept.
Yes it is an extravagant amount of money, but it was his choice. He must love you. Dont ruin a beautiful gesture. Enjoy the beautiful ring he picked out for you and be happy about it. Or he will have spent his savings in vain.
Dont ruin it for him.
Keep the ring he wanted you to have.
2007-10-24 10:11:46 · answer #3 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm this is difficult one. I see your point BUT he has chosen to spend HIS money on you as he has made that commitment that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you. If he could not afford it then i am sure he would not have spent all his savings on the ring.
If you continue to make this an issue then you run the risk of ruining your relationship and hurting his feelings.
Stop being hung up on the money and enjoy the true meaning of what this ring means. Don't be hung up on what else that 10 grand could have bought which is what i think you are doing.
Also did you accidentally come across the documents or were you searching for them? If you were searching for them then that is bad of you.
Enjoy being engaged.
2007-10-24 02:41:02 · answer #4 · answered by laplandfan 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I felt the same way. My husband and I had a weird engagement. We were planning the wedding before he officially proposed so I had the opportunity to express to him that I didn't want an expensive ring. I would rather him save the money for our future together. The ring wasn't important to me. I don't think you are being selfish at all. Just let him know what you told us.
2007-10-24 00:23:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get over it , he obviously thinks the world of you and has taken the time to find you the perfect ring. I understand that you feel guilty because he has used his savings but at the end of the day it was HIS choice to spend it on YOU!
Think your self lucky when me and my hubby got engaged he gave me the money and I had to go and choose my own ring ! and there is no way he would have spent that much on it! I would love my hubby to spoil me like that .
2007-10-24 07:46:33 · answer #6 · answered by gert 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you are being ungrateful, you are being concerned. I told my Fiance before he bought my ring that it didnt have to be expensive, because i just dont need all that. Id rather we spend money on a house. When he purposed i thought for sure he paid more then i would have liked. But he didnt, and i love it just the same, Its gorgeous and just right for me, and the fact that he picked it out and gave it to me, makes it so much more special.
He kept telling me, if i want to take it back and exchange it i could, but i wouldnt change it for the world.
I guess in your case, if you think it is going to be a money issue, you can maybe sit down together and discuss your options, but if it its not so much a money issue, and the ring has much sentimental value i wouldnt worry about it.
2007-10-24 01:29:51 · answer #7 · answered by Gotta luv it! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i change into going to point you've the stone reset, yet now I see it really is in simple terms the placing. Giving someone a placing and not using a stone seems so spectacular, besides. i imagine it really is as a lot as your boyfriend to inform his mom that you're both so enthusiastic about starting up a clean existence jointly that you go with to commence from the start with a clean ring you've both chosen. If she's no longer a thoroughly unreasonable man or woman, she might want to comprehend. yet you need to no longer ought to seem at your hand for some thing else of your existence and spot a hoop you don't like.
2016-10-22 22:25:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being SMART! First when I read your question I thought you were going to gripe about it not costing a lot...
But this, is great...
Talk to your fiance, and tell him that though you appreciate and love the ring, it is just too much to wear on your finger and that you feel a more reasonably priced ring would be better, and the money saved could go to a HOUSE.
2007-10-24 11:19:16 · answer #9 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quote: I want him to spend the money on himself and do things he enjoys, as he's the one the earnt it.
He did He chose to spend it on the woman he loves. It was his choice It is his way of showing how much he cares about you
I would also be uncomfortable with it but again his money his choice. I would still tell him though but more like; I am so honoured that you love me this much, but I find it a little overwhelming I will need time to come to terms with the enormity of it all.
it will show both your appreciation and and your embarrassment
Having said all that Nice change from al the women who complain that their ring is not flash enough
2007-10-24 06:28:03 · answer #10 · answered by MissE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋