why do i sense people around me look upon me differently, & treat me differently, like a dying cancer patient?

Question

whos also developed alziemers?

this is how i feel people treat me in my environment and area because i have borderline personality disorder and ptsd to..

im 30 had an exceptionally traumatic life now i have bpd, ptsd , i live alone, never made any friends, never had a girlfriend...never been employed....never had any qualifications....
i have nothing concrete to go on....but i have a feeling people look at me like i havent got long to live and to give me special treatment.....like '' make allowences for that guy '' type treatment....like people feel sorry for me and are ordered to treat me as a charity case...
i have pride and i dont like this....i feel people avoid me like they would a leapor...to leave well alone.
all i want to do is overcome my illness so i can fullfill my dreams and ambitions of emigration from the uk, to build a new life, settle down with a partner...these dreams keep me hanging on.
but its like people look at me like im not gonna make it, like they no

something i dont....

is this a fight i wont win?
is it to late for me to accomplish my dreams?

am i at a major disadvantage?

what do people know that i dont know?

i heard bpd is a hard disorder to treat, its life
long..and difficult.
will it beat me...is this what people are sensing?

Answer 1

Firstly, NVRSBR and Kara Doll, I don't want to be an a.s.s but do you really think that your comments have helped in any way? It really got my back up! How can you say that one person's pain and mental anguish is not important? Or that someone will a mental illness needs to be mocked (nvrsbr). At least nvrsbr, try to look at what the abbreviations mean and the subject of the question you're answering. If the person was missing a leg or had a physical defect, would that make his feelings more worthy? Do you live their life? Do you know the daily struggles of the person? Are you even a professional psychologist/psychiatrist? No? Well then maybe you should think before you decide to disregard or mock someones feelings in their plea for opinions and advice. Have you ever felt so isolated and desperate that you are completely backed into a corner with nowhere and no-one to turn to, feeling like the thing that haunts you (and IS usually just yourself) will never end and give you a moment of peace? You're telling me that you could be in such mental anguish and still have FUN. Get a life yourselves. And I for one, wouldn't want to be around such completely ignorant, inhumane, pathetic morons like you have come across as.

Le fantome, I can completely understand where you're coming from. It would seem that I am luckier than you on the outside. I've had jobs, education, friends, have a house, boyfriend for 10 years (who for some reason is the only one I've ever let in fully) etc, but you know what, none of that makes a difference to the fact that I cannot control myself and live with my mental 'issues'. I never fully trust anyone, expect things to go wrong, self-harm, am convinced at times that the whole world is against me, that I'm just a joke and I repeatedly sabotage anything that can be seen as being good in my life. When I do interact with people, it's never the real me, the 'train wreck', it's all just an act. People describe me as funny, extroverted and personable but that's all a lie. Not even my family know the real me. I know if they knew the real me, they'd run a mile. Because of this, I tend to have very short friendships that I back away from the moment they put even a step wrong. I get bored easily and cannot stay in the same job for very long. I had an emotionally and sometimes physically abusive childhood and have never felt like I belonged in this world, like I never quite fit. I have suffered with uncontrollable emotions and horrendous, haunting, torturous feelings and wanting to die since I was 10 years old. I'm now almost 29. The worst thing is, I can be very analytical and logical about the whole thing afterwards, whilst experiencing the emotion though, it doesn't feel like there was ever a before nor will there be anything after. It's just completely consuming. That's the worst thing about it, the lack of control. I don't know if I have BPD but from what I've looked into, it feels a right fit for me. I have had many forms of therapy in the past and am still on my 'quest' to get a diagnosis and find something that works to help me. I'm sorry I don't have any answers for you. I just want you to know that at least you are trying, you're still here and still able to give people a chance instead of just hiding away (even if it is only through the internet, it still counts). You should be so proud of yourself for that. It really does take alot of courage to try to function and get through normal day-to-day stuff whilst also trying to improve your situation/mental difficulties. Try to remember that people are complex, it's just some of us are more so. It doesn't make us any less valuable, just more vulnerable. If you let people get to know you, they would probably find that you are full of strength, character, passion and insight. From your post, that's what I perceive about you. Even if people do think the things you are perceiving, let them. None of them have lived your life, experienced the things you have and feel the way you do. You are incredibly strong to even be here, still persevering. I really do hope that you have all your dreams fulfilled because you deserve it. You are a good person.

Sorry for going on and if I seem completely off the bat or patronizing, it is not what I intended. Good luck and blessings to you (n_n)

Now, if only I could follow my own advice lol ;-)

Answer 2

I'm going to be upfront this time, since i already told you about all the materials that can help you and that you can succeed. I've had a friend with a severe mental illness for a couple of years and she is one of the most difficult people i've ever been around in my life. It was a learning experience but it was not pleasant, and i'm doing well without the person. No matter how hard i try to help/change the person it doesn't work. Only you can change you with the help of people willing to help you. You will only truly be able to meet friends who are equal to yourself(self-esteem wise), so either go out and meet others like you or accept help. Thankfully accept others help. Take all you can to improve, get better, learn as much from the helpers as possible. Do whatever you can to change yourself including accepting help and that you need help and am a charity case at least for now. Not forever, but for now, and make it your goal to change. Once you change and get better you will meet more people who will want to be around you then you can help others and give back to society.

Answer 3

I totally know what you're talking about! I'm not ugly, but honestly my best friend is a lot prettier than I am. She ALWAYS gets people's attention. Like you said, especially guys. Just a couple weeks ago I went out with her, and her friend introduced her and I to some guy. The guy was completely staring at my friend and couldn't take his eyes off her. When my friend's friend introduced me to the guy, he didn't even LOOK at me! I was really offended. When I stood there and said "Hi" he didn't even look away from my friend and never said anything to me. It was like I didn't exist. It sucks! But yeah, I know what you're talking about, definitely. I'm in college now too and I have pretty much stopped worrying about what I look like. I used to do my makeup all the time, do my hair, wear the cutest clothes, and now I'm so tired of all that. I'm kind of taking a break from that too. It gets tiring after a while. It's definitely more fun to let loose and not worry about your looks so much, so I say keep being natural. Even if stupid guys do treat you differently. They just suck!

Answer 4

sound like social anxiety or inferiority complex of some kind. and i think the reason is quite obvious. im guesing that bpd is bipolar something and ptsd is post-traumatic stress, right? anyhow regardless of those conditions you are 30 years old and if you have really NEVER made ANY friends, NEVER had a girlfriend, NEVER had a job,and have NO qualifications! HELLO! BIG RED TRUCK! C'mon the fact that you really had to ask this question knowing that there are 14 year old kids out there that have experienced more of this fuct up existence we call "life" than you have, says it all. you probably really do need this special treatment. its like if i see a blind person walking my way i will probably give a little bit more room to get by me than i would for somebody that could see me there. or if i seen something in his path that he could trip over i'd either move it or warn him of it.

if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and acts like a duck...its probably a duck. (wait a tic, ducks dont talk, they quack :)

Answer 5

People probably are uncomfortable with you, considering the things you've told me. We don't know how to handle a borderline person, that's all.

You have to believe there is a way to turn your situation around. You have to keep looking for it. That's what everybody has to do if they are to have any hope. People beat the odds everyday and even the best doctors can't tell who is going to have a miraculous recovery.

I wish you all the best and know that there are happy times ahead for you.

Answer 6

sense people differently treat differently dying cancer patient

Answer 7

.What you're going through isn't easy!
But,some people just don't know what to do and feel they want to do something.It's compassion,just coming off in a way sometimes you may not like.But,at least it's not you're being treated cruel.
I admire your determination,strength,which means you have character.
I wish you the best! I don't know what bpd,ptsd are abbrievated for!
Take care!

Answer 8

Do you have a job,you have more problems and there are people in mental hospitials who are so ill cancer patients who are dying.......you need to see what goes on in all these hospitals you are your own worst enemy .....you need to SEE really SICK people get your life in order and stop whining your 30years old and before you know it your life is over and you spent it on all these problems stop it live be happy enjoy life stand up for yourself believe in yourself pray go to church... make a life for yourself your answer are not on a website .....if you need a doctor get one but for god sakes go out and have some fun fun fun ......kara

Answer 9

My mother had bipolar disorder. With proper treatment, she was fine. She was given lithium, but now there are other treatments that are apparently better and have fewer side-effects. With proper treatment and care you should be able to live a full and happy life. My brother has PTSD and other problems, and he does OK too, because he gets the care that he needs. If your dreams keep you hanging on, then definitely hang on to your dreams! Best of luck with your future successes - you are NOT alone.

Answer 10

firstly what is bpd.
back to your question maybe they look at you that way because you may give off the immpression that you are unhappy maybe you walk with your eyes gazing the ground i mean if these people dont even know you and view you this way then well it must be your own behaviour.
or maybe you are exaggerating it and you imagined people are behaving in a manner you actually wish to be but not how are.
maybe you want people to be more sympathetic.