I want to start wearing hijab but am afraid because I live in the US?

Question

this question is mainly directed to all my brothers and sisters in Islam: I am a recent convert to Islam, and I have been going through a serious internal struggle lately about whether or not to start wearing hijab now. I really want to wear it, as I agree with the reasons behind it, but I have to admit that living in the U.S., I am scared about how people will treat me. I am also scared about how my white Christian family will react. I am 22 yrs old and am currently finishing my last semester of college. I feel like this may be meant to be one of my biggest jihads in life, I am seriously struggling with this. I can't sleep. Please, any advice/stories about when you or someone you know first started wearing hijab? Thanks so much! Salaam Alaikum :)

thanks for the comments so far, wow this question really drew fast responses.

i realize we all have our personal opinions and you have the right to express it, but some people's comments about hijab being oppressive indicates the misunderstanding people have about hijab's purpose. The purpose of hijab is to cover the external beauty so that we are seen more for our internal beauty. It's pretty simple. One either chooses to wear it or doesn't. It also has to do with a belief that God asks us (NOT man) to cover. If a man asked me to cover, I wouldn't, but since I believe God does, I want to. Hijab sends a clear message that the woman doesn't want to be seen as a sexual object. That's not to say that not wearing hijab means you want to invite pervies over, but hijab is just a very clear way to say no. I don't judge anyone who does or doesn't wear hijab. I just think it's for me, it's a great idea in my eyes, but I think I need to gain the strength to be different while ignoring prejudice

Bajingo: your comment hurt me a lot. Is this how you think of Muslims? I would definitely stand up for your rights as a gay american. we might share different beliefs, but i respect and love you as a person. you have a right to happiness and freedom just like everyone else :)

VIP: lol, i know right?

people, relax. i can see already it's going to be a crazy journey for me when i start wearing hijab b/c of people's bias/prejudice. but inshAllah, I will get past it.

in my eyes, hijab is liberation; the opposite of oppression. why? because it allows me to encourage people more to focus on my inner beauty more than my outer. guys, there are 2 sides to every story, please try and be more open minded. at least do some research before putting someone else down.

you know what? it's just a piece of cloth. im gonna do as i please and ignorant people can come and go. some of the ignorant comments on here actually just made me feel a lot stronger, so i guess i have my solution now :)

thank you aisha and corrosionfactor. your answers are very helpful.

also, i wanted to add in one more thing about hijab: i really don't get the backwards western logic that the hijab is an oppression from men. think about it logically: in general, men love seeing women run around half naked. having women covered more is actually bad in a lot of guys' eyes. it's actually the pressure in our media these days to be super hyped up sexy and dress skimpy that's more oppressive to women. you see? 2 sides to every story.

(ie for my last comment: think about women being used as hoes in rap videos. for real, i find that wayyy more oppressive than any piece of cloth). if hijab is a personal choice, then it cannot be oppressive because it's a free choice. the only problem i ever see with hijab is when another human tries to force someone to wear it. that's definitely not ok. it's a shame how some governments have messed up the image of hijab by forcing it.

thanks for more comments guys! To the sister wearing niqab... i really admire and respect u!

to the guy who said westerners object to covering of the face b/c its for criminals... i think westerners need to be more open minded. but p.s., hijab is covering the hair, not the face. i would not be covering my face.

to the first comment: yes i know revert is a great term. convert, revert...whatever term i use, i know what i mean. i came back to the religion i was born to. subhanAllah. and forget "fads"...fads and religion don't mix. Religion is for God, not for people's weirdo fads.

Lionheart: That's really sad about your neighbor's daughter. if her husband really controls her, then he's not practicing true Islam. True Islam teaches that men and women are equal. The Prophet Muhammed (peace to him) once said: " the best among you are those who treat their wives well." Marriage is supposed to be respected and cherished in Islam.

Bajingo: unfortunately, it's true that some supposedly Islamic governments treat gays really bad, even murder them. This isn't Islam though! Those governments are wayyyy too extreme, crazy and fascist! Muhammed taught that we should never kill anyone unless absolutely in necessary self defense. In fact, he said " killing a man is like killing the whole mankind..." meaning that one death is equivalent to the death of millions because every life is that sacred. I hope you are able to separate religion from culture and extremism.

Answer 1

We aren't the ones who kill people for having a different religion.

Answer 2

I can completely relate to you. I'm going through the same problem, being afraid to wear the hijab. I decided to wear it next year, in my first year of high school. AND i live in Utah, where there's literally no other muslims where i'm going to school. I've hear all over the internet that it's a bit difficult at first, but people eventually get used to you. I'm just going to do it, get it over with it, and hope people don't judge me differently. Just wear it for now i guess, if you want. You would get more prizes for heaven. So it seems like a good idea to me! Remember! Donya is just a test for us muslims! (Teehee, and i visit Morrocco frequently, since my family's all there. Maybe i'll randomly see you there one day, and we'll never know. ^_^)

Answer 3

Sister first of all, as salaamu alaikum. I know exactly what you are going through. This topic would also cost me my sleep,lol. This is what I did. I started wearing a head scarf everyonce in a while. Note: I said headscarf not hijab. Than eventually it turned to hijab. Now I know that it would be harder to find a job when you are wearing a hijab specially in the waiter/waitress area, but there are some jobs that will allow you to wear it, such as hospitals or Walmarts or anything that doesn't have to do with restaurants ( although they should allow you to wear a headscarf in restaurants, common sense it keeps your hair restrained) anyway. So yeah Id say start wraping your hair with small scarves. Get accustomed to them. Try different styles and then start buying bigger scarves online or your local middle easter grocer. But you'll be fine. I mean some people will look at you but believe me there is worst to look at. I mean have anyone in here seen those women that are super fat and they wear clothes that look like they are painted on. And you can see the rolls through their clothes. That is ridiculous and also indicent. No one will harm you or do anything to you for wearing a hijab.

Answer 4

Trust me anytime you do do something that you are not accustomed to doing you will be afraid, but you should'nt be.You are doing it for the sake of Allah, and that is worth more than any criticism you may have to bear from anyone. Once you get into the habit of wearing it, the fear should eventually go away. My mother is very strong and brave and she chose to wear the veil, so you only see her eyes, and she does not allow anyone to intimidate her. She has strong convictions. There will be people who will probably ask questions or make comments, but you will soon learn how to handle all of this with finesse. I started covering up at thirteen years old and that was 21 years ago, it was'nt easy. People are a little more open-minded today and I think you will be fine.
It is sad that there are so many people that claim they believe in freedom of choice, but when a person makes a choice that is not acceptable to them, they shoot them down. Sad indeed.They won't truly accept you until you come their way.

Answer 5

I live in the deep south state of Mississippi and no woman gets hassled here for wearing a hijab. Some of the bright colors are pretty and receive many compliments from people.

The only trouble I've heard of was caused by the woman who insisted on keeping her entire face covered for a drivers license photo in Florida. By law, she was correctly refused.

A hijab is different from other head coverings in Islam and Christianity, so don't worry.

As for your family, can't help. Mine accept my atheism and whatever silly hats I wear.

Answer 6

You probably have no reason to be concerned about your choice of clothing, but it really depends on where exactly you live. If you've recently become Muslim, I presume there's a mosque where you worship, and there are other women there. Ask them if they've had any problems, and let their answers be your guide.

As to your family - honey, you're 22 years old. Live your life as you choose. You know your family better than I do, but I suspect they'll still love you.

Answer 7

I wouldn't be afraid to wear a head scarf, but you might not want to wear Middle Eastern style clothing. You can wear modest Western clothes. You might only need a few safety pins to close button down shirts with open necks. Peace be with you too : )

Answer 8

where i live in the US we have one of the highest populations of muslims its common over here to see alot of women wearing these things.

nothing will come of it, dont expect people to talk to you much though. islamic women are avoided like the plague here.

i personally think your looking into this too much though. if your god created all things then wouldnt he not want you to cover yourself.

also you have to understand that a hjab is nothing more then a tool the islamic men use to oppress women.

Answer 9

I do not believe in any religion, government, community, social group, or anything else, that forces a person by coercion or brainwashing, to lose their freedom of thought or action.

A neighbor's daughter converted, just like you, and she is covered from head to toe. She is totally controlled by her husband and religion. What a waste of a fine human being.

Answer 10

Try being gay in an Islamic country.

OK, jesting aside...wear what you want. I have to have the courage to be who I am even if I'm demonized and spat at by religionists and bigots.

We all have to take our lumps, doll.

Difference between you and me is, I'll stand up for your freedom to wear what you want, while you'll demonize my freedom to be who I am.

Plus ca change...

Ironically, the Hijab sends a clear message that uncovered women are to be considered as just sexual objects.

As a Muslim woman on here said recently: "A naked woman is an invitation to rape"

That is the mindset you are reverting to. Ask yourself, is rape more common on nudist resorts in the South of France, or in indigenous communities in the Amazon jungle, or South Sea islanders..., or is it more common in repressed patriarchal cultures?

What is the honest answer to that?

UPDATE:

'hoes (sic) in rap videos?' LOL. Yeah, another patriarchal and oppressive culture - 'gangsters'. They celebrate ignorance and obsess over sex just like fundie religionists, except their church is the "Church of the Immaculate Booty & Bling"...

Ok I'll stop now...

Answer 11

No one will attack you for wearing a hijab. That doesn't happen here in USA. You won't have to worry about hate crimes against you just because you want to dress the way Arabs want you to.

Use the excuse "Mary wore a hijab, so why shouldn't I?"

P.S. Muslims prefer you use the term "revert". It's much more fashionable, and appears to be the latest fad.