I was in a Christian relationship as a new Christian. Too early for a relationship. But I will spare you the horrible details. After the relationship was finished I fell completely away from God and I HATED my ex I harrassed him I was horrible to him I threatened him I caused him opression, harm, and just terrorized him. Yes, I went crazy. And even to the psych ward. Save your comments. It wasnt a pretty time in my life. The fact of the matter is, I am reunited with God and have repented for all of these things yet my heart is still heavy and I want to ask this person to forgive me for all I did to them. However I do not know the bible well enough to know if it says in scripture to go to your brother you have opressed and ask for him to forgive you, or if it is just God we are suppose to go to. And I am battling with - would contacting him again do more harm that good. I am struggling so much with this and I guess I want the answer from God and i've felt mixed up answers. advice?
2007-10-23 19:57:09 · 15 answers · asked by Azaliah 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
it's not about wanting him back whosoever, I understand it's finished and he's moved on. It's about wanting to ask for forgiveness for damage caused.
2007-10-23 19:59:20 · update #1
We do sometimes find ourselves in messes. Thank Jesus, God forgives us of our sins.
It can be hard for people to forgive us sometimes, especially if they are hurting and processing their hurt in their own timetable.
Asking his forgiveness is a principle in scripture.
Reconciliation may or may not be in your future.
Read 1st Corinthians chapter 7 for yourself. It's about marriage and divorce and living as a single person. You could say these are the principles and the "rules".
Before going to your ex, I suggest you discuss with your therapist, how and when and why you would approach your ex. Consider writing and crafting in a letter (whether you give it to him or not) what you feel you need to communicate. Then re-write that letter atleast 2 times and consider reading it to your therapist before speaking or mailing it to your ex.
You need to have healed to a certain point before he is going to accept anything you have to say. He needs to be seeing and talking to "a different person" than the one who went to the psych ward. He may be fearful of you. He may feel threatened for you to approach him. Often therapists will suggest such a meeting take place in the presence of a therapist, pastor, or mediator to make sure things don't get out of control.
Some of our guilt is for our sin toward others.
Some of our guilt is the loneliness and sadness for what we have lost and the dreams that have died.
With my ex, he was just too volatile to ever have such a meeting. I knew my life was in danger, and that he would stalk me until I was dead. So I never met with him, and moved far away. God graciously gave me a new life and a second chance.
2007-10-23 20:21:24 · answer #1 · answered by Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you still feel guilty you should let him know that you are sorry. Do not ask for forgiveness from him, he will or he won't give it to you. But that isn't the point. The point is for you to clear your conscience and move on. You may ask God for forgiveness and know in your heart that he loves you. And I agree with some of the other answers, I would send your ex a letter or an e-mail, if you are not sure of the reception he will give you.
2007-10-23 20:25:21 · answer #2 · answered by ccya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was your Ex a Christian? If so, you should be able to apologize, etc. with understanding. If they are Christian and do not, they are wrong. No mistake about it. Doing what is right is mostly upon your heart and with the Lord's knowledge of it. Do not look or seek approval from another man. It normally does not come. Approval should always be sought from the Lord. If you think it pleases him, it probably does. No one else matters. Do what you think is right. Contact him. Make peace. They get it or they don't. If you know your intent, and the Lord knew your intent, but the Ex doesn't get it, too bad for the Ex. No blood on your hands. Clear conscience.
2007-10-23 20:08:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should ask forgiveness first from God and then second from the person you offended. However, you must be realistic. Only you know how bad the situation is that you created. If it's bad, but you want to ask for forgiveness anyway try writing a letter. Then, you can relieve your conscience and let him have a choice about whether or not he would like to respond. DO NOT EXPECT FORGIVENESS FROM HIM ONLY FROM GOD. God is the only one who will always forgive, no strings attached. God is the only one you need to worry about right now, because you need to be right with him and yourself before he will bring the right person for you into your life.
2007-10-23 20:06:34 · answer #4 · answered by justme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. I just finished reading, "First Century Faith" (Inter Varsity Press) by FF Bruce, on Sunday night. It was a little over 100 pgs long, and I got through it in a weekend. Most informative and enjoyable. I've also read a Tyndale Commentary on Romans and, "The New Testament Documents - Are They Reliable?" (both IVP) by the same author. His writing seems to strike the right balance between faith and scholarship, and, with the most recent book, challenged me to think more deeply about the Kingdom, and Kingdom life and work, as all good Christian books should. I highly recommend it. Blessings. x
2016-05-25 09:44:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to God, most certainly. He has already forgiven you. You should also go to your ex and ask his forgiveness. Or at least just apologize... you don't even need to ask his forgiveness.
That would be the right thing to do. Even if he doesn't accept, it is still what God wants.
I'm sorry to hear you had such a difficult time.
Good luck to you, and God bless.
EDIT:
For y0urworsenightmare... I don't believe she was judging or discriminating against those who aren't Christian. I think you took it the wrong way.
2007-10-23 20:00:53 · answer #6 · answered by Mary S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its enough if you just feel sorry to him, and no more hate in your heart for him. But if you want him to know about what your feel, just sms him, or call him. No need to meet.
Matt
5:23 So if you are about to offer your gift to God at the altar and there you remember that your brother has something against you,
5:24 leave your gift there in front of the altar, go at once and make peace with your brother, and then come back and offer your gift to God
Mark 9 :50 "Salt is good; but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? "Have the salt of friendship among yourselves, and live in peace with one another
2007-10-23 23:01:19 · answer #7 · answered by Si semut 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Send him a letter, detailing how sorry you are for the things you put him through. You have asked for "God's" forgiveness, now apologize to your ex, not only will that hopefully let him know how you feel, but give you closure as well.
2007-10-23 20:01:31 · answer #8 · answered by ~~*Paradise Dreams*~~ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can ask him if he will forgive you, but it will be his choice whether he does.
You said you've asked God for forgiveness, then you need to let go of all of this. Lay your problems at the feet of Jesus.
I'll say a prayer for you.
God Bless
† New Mission Prayer Warrior †
2007-10-23 20:03:17 · answer #9 · answered by tracy211968 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should address it with the other person if you are able. And by able I mean that you have the means to contact the person AND you are psychologically and spiritually strong enough to handle the encounter. Even if not, a letter with no return address should be adequate, just to appease your own concerns.
2007-10-23 20:01:42 · answer #10 · answered by SDW 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋