So my ex-GF of 5 years has moved on to someone who doesnt even measure up to anything close to me..so i figured ok she moved on right so i wanted to stop talking to her and that was it cut all contact..well she keeps iming me at random just to say hi or hey even if i have told her before to leave me alone..i have even hung out with her a few times once we cuddled and watched movies..but she still has the BF that she now says shes in love with..i just see it as its not my problem what she does while shes with him..but im just wondering if i should stick around and be her friend to maybe see if we could get back together or should i just leave it be and ignore her ims or anytime she tries to contact me or ask to hang out?
2007-10-23 19:45:55 · 10 answers · asked by YOUR M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Politely send her an email, or reply to her next one that it is in your best interest to discontinue any further contact at this time.. Maybe sometime in the distant future you and her can become friends but for now she must honor your request. Explain that if she does not respect this it would convince you that she has little or no regard for your feelings and only thinks of herself. She has made her choice...and now you have made yours.
The reason I suggest an email is because it can be brief and to the point. If you try in person she would interrupt and make it more difficult. This might pain you a little but it won't last. Also it will give you strength and is necessary to help build your character.
You simply must uphold your dignity and move on. Your relationship with her is dead and done...unless you are willing to settle for scraps. There are plenty of girls out there and many of them are for you.
2007-10-23 20:25:26 · answer #1 · answered by Robere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question is an interesting one for me, as _I_ am an ex-GF and have moved on with someone I do love, but left with an ex who wants very little to do with me because he still loves me. I take your question very much to heart and I feel deeply for you as well as your ex.
I cannot speak for her motivations, but I can speak for mine. Perhaps it will give you insight into your own ex's.
When you break up with someone, most likely you loved them very much and something about living with them/being with them just didn't work right, so you left the relationship almost by force. Your heart aches for that person you left behind, and it is FOREVER wistful, no matter who you get together with later.
I am much more compatible with my new guy and I love him dearly. But my love, my tenderness, my heart, part of it will always belong to my ex, and selfishly, will always want a part of him with me. It is the reason I seek out a friendship with him, to even have that little bit is some solace to me.
However, I do say selfishly, because I have come to acknowledge recently that this isn't necessarily in my ex's best interests. While "cuddling while watching a movie" or "IMing" may soothe MY ache, it does nothing for my ex's (or yours in your case). It gives you a closeness that keeps you from moving on, and perhaps even false hope that you can one day have what you lost.
All I can say, and it is with the heaviest of heart, is that until you are truly ready to be JUST FRIENDS with her, you need to have no contact. It will break her heart (it breaks mine to honor his request) and it will also break yours. However, it will give you what you need to move on and find your own love.
And as long as you are still living, you will always have the chance to rediscover a friendship later, in a time when your heart is finally free and clear and the friendship is true, untinged with unfilfilled longings.
I wish you and your ex the best. I know exactly what you are going through, and my heart goes out to each of you.
2007-10-23 20:03:37 · answer #2 · answered by Gauffsa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
show her that you love her by being her friend.tell her if she has problems wit her new man to ask u for help.tell her that u cool wit her having a new man and u just wanna see her happy.but before u say all that first apoligize to her for ignoring and hanging up on her, tell her u had some problems and took it out on her and it had nothing to do wit her new man.stick around,be a GOOD friend.trust me bro i have done it and when the time comes she gonna realize u been there forn her and supported her all the way and she would start thinking of u ESPECIALLY if she has problems wit her new man or if she brakes up wit him.HOWEVER dont make it seem u after her.Get a girl for yourself and move on but still be her friend.If it dont work out at least you have your new girl
2007-10-23 19:57:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore this girl and go on with your life, she sure as hell isn't the only fish in the sea. If she was so in love with this current boyfriend, she wouldn't be cuddling with you watching movies. I think she just likes attention from multiple guys. Seriously, tell her she is a screwed up person and move on.
2007-10-23 19:49:17 · answer #4 · answered by Konjo Nashi Pirate™ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This girl seems to be wasting your time. She talks to you and acts like she might have feelings for you, yet she has a boyfriend that she "loves".
I would strongly consider moving on with your life, but if you are really that attached to her, then talk to her about it...don't assume anything anymore, just straight up get an answer.
Best of luck...
Peace
2007-10-23 19:51:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go. Get out and stay out. Don't just ignore her im's; go a step further. Specifically tell her to hit the road. Just ignoring her won't be enough. Move on. Allow her to do the same.
2007-10-23 19:50:29 · answer #6 · answered by Dinky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LEAVE her. She's immature.
She doesn't know what she wants and NO she's not in love... or else she wouldn't be cuddling w/ you and bugging the crap out of you all the time.
She's not worth it.
Cuz what if you guys get back together... BUT she's w/ her ex all the time and cuddling w/ him and bugging him but she tells you... that she Loves you???
Are you gonna believe that Bull Sh**???
Don't waste ur time.
2007-10-23 19:51:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore
Ignore
Ignore
Ignore
Ignore!
2007-10-23 19:58:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should stick around, accept her dates. anything can happen you guys can get back together. i pray so if thats what you want.
2007-10-23 20:04:17 · answer #9 · answered by tolu_thegame10 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i mean if she still is hitting u up and your talking to her then she wont get the hint erase her from you im
2007-10-23 19:50:29 · answer #10 · answered by cutie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋