Okay So...
I started going out with this girl in late September.
Things were great.
Took her on a great date, took and had a great time at a party, talked on the phone for hours, met and found out her parents really liked me, etc..
However, things started to change as grades were coming in..you see, she was struggling in a few of her classes, and asked for a break so she can raise them.Of course, I gladly respected her descision and gave her the space she nedded to raise her grades. But then, she started to avoid me, tried to ignore almost any type of contact I would try to have with her, and gave a very concernd look on her face everytime I would talk to her.
Few days after giving her a week of space, I was talking to her about how she was doing in school. She then all of a sudden said "I think we should break up, I really want to focus on school, I don't want a boyfriend right now, and I really just want us to be good friends."
This made things akward.
What should I do?
2007-10-23 18:15:33 · 18 answers · asked by Eli 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok, well the thing is..
Even before the whole grades thing, I could kind of gradually tell she was kind of..staying away from me.
For instance, I tried to hold her hand while walking her to class, she accepted it, then quickly swiped her hand away and said she didn't want to anymore...but we were alone.
Also, to the lady who asked me how she was when she broke up with me, she was pretty firm.
2007-10-23 18:27:35 · update #1
What can you do at all? It seems that she is more interested in her studies than she is in you, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. She's avoiding you because she doesn't want to be distracted by you during school. I"m sorry, but I think it's best just to leave her alone for now. When she learns how to multi-task both school and love, then she might come back to you.
Otherwise, the grades are just an excuse to break up with you. How did she seem when she told you that she wanted to break up with you? Sad? Reluctant? Firm? All these clues point to whether or not she is regretful about it.
However, it's great that you respected her decisions earlier. Many guys wouldn't do that, and would just be angry.
Good luck.
2007-10-23 18:22:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a break up for you you have to pick yourself up move on and find someone else if she really still felt the same way she would not have been avoiding you and would have made the time to see you i know i know this is going to be hard and really painful but shes just a stepping stone to the right person so put your chin up the right gal is out there somewhere.
2007-10-23 18:23:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you should just do what she wanted and act normal, let her focus on school and grades..it's great you supported her deciscion, but I guess you should just act around her as if she was any other normal friend of yours, you know great to hang around with, but nothing else.
Who knows maybe later on when she thinks she can handle it and is ready to balance a boyfriend and a report card full of good grades..maybe she'll come back to you if you want her :)
2007-10-23 18:21:34 · answer #3 · answered by Mimí..ツ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing you can do but give her time. she has made up her mind and you have to accept it anything you do to try to change her mind will only result in her becoming angry at you. you have only given her about 10 days of time. in your young world that seems like eternity but in reality its not a lot of time at all. back off from her for a while spend time on your own grades and pass the time maybe you'll get back together later or maybe someone else will become interested in you and you in them.
2007-10-23 18:22:44 · answer #4 · answered by froggy_logic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her be, dude. We've all got different priorities, and right now, school's on top of her list. If you really love her, you've got to respect that. And if you REALLY love her, you will wait til she is ready. Even though you're not her boyfriend anymore, you can still hangout with her can you? If you can, then do it. Stay on with it. If she too really loves you then someday she'll come back to you.
2007-10-23 18:20:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she was just using the grades as an excuse to be nice. I wouldn't waste too much time thinking about it. Move on.
2007-10-23 18:21:54 · answer #6 · answered by Grick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as a female, my instincts tell me, that she's either interested in someone else, or just not that much into you anymore, i feel she came up with the school thing as an excuse, so she wouldn't hurt your feelings, as she obviously cares for your feelings, but she doesn't want to be your girlfriend anymore for whatever reasons,
let her be, remain friends, and she may change her mind and want you back, so be nice
2007-10-23 18:20:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't blame her. I think she is stressed with her studies. Also relationships do adversely affect ones studies. Be friends with her. Welcome her if she calls you are meets you but you do not call her or try to meet her.
If she wants, she will come back to you. Set up a deadline for yourself. If she keeps off for six months or so, get another girlfriend and tell her your decision and the reasons behind it.
2007-10-23 18:20:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think her "failing grades" are just an excuse to break up with you. Why not tell her that if she wants to break up then fine, but don't make excuses for it.
2007-10-23 18:19:04 · answer #9 · answered by Konjo Nashi Pirate™ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should move on, she's being passive aggressive and using school as an excuse to dump you
2007-10-23 18:18:46 · answer #10 · answered by mrharderson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋