Seriously, what would you do if your 16 -17 y/o son came to you and asked you nicely to get him some condoms?

Question

Well it happened to me a little while ago and I did.
I won't recieve condemnation.
I know I did the right thing under the circumstances.

Just for those who don't already know me,
I am a Christain and I brought him up entirely alone, and I Love Him Very much.
I set and layed out my values and the Christian ideals whilst he was younger and as he grew.

And He went to Youth group for a while.
He knew the drill.
But he made his own choice and knew - I probably wouldn't be impressed, but would of course help him, in any situation.
It is ileagle for under 18's to buy condoms here.
And no amount of talking would have changed anything then.
This was a couple of yrs ago so I probably said quietly back to him, "Yes of course".

It's hard to understand where someof you are coming from, with the oh so holier than though attitude or the ignorance that this is what teenagers have a huge problem wuth, people who can't relate.
Temptation plays the biggest part of a teenagers life thes days.
Nothing here upsets me, I am amused more I guess.

But to the rest of you, and thats a large %age,
Thanks!

purnimac... I alredy gave you a thumbs up matey and it has been one of the bst answers

Purnimac... as serious as it is,and Scotgirl... made me laugh, as well as others.

Answer 1

At this point, he's already made his decision that he's going to have sex and it sounds like he's trying to avoid an even worse situation (an unexpected pregnancy or a sexually transmitted disease).

This isn't about whether sex outside marriage is right or wrong -- at this point, it's damage control and about not making the situation worse.

Be glad he's responsible enough to use a condom, even if he's not responsible to practice abstinence.

And kudos to you for making the right decision do get the condoms for him. You are right, you definitely did the right thing under the circumstances.

Answer 2

Ladyeagle7, I'm glad I've never had to face this. This must have been a tremendous weight to carry.
I don't really know what I'd do although I think I would blow up and say everything possible to change their mind, then ask every question possible to ask, the who's, how's, whens where's, and then sulk because I thought I'd failed somehow. Then after having a pity party do the same thing you chose to do. Better safe than death by the ever increasing venereal diseases today.
We can't always be with our children 24/7 and when we raise them alone it is even harder. Under the circumstances, from what little I comprehend I think you done the right thing.

Answer 3

You are a smart mom. I'd be proud that he mentioned it to you, as I am older mother who has 2 adult sons & a daughter.

Whether he wants to hear much of "the talk" or not, let him at least know that 'little mistakes" mean 18 yrs. of child support and a child until he is an old, old man. After all said, it's up to him, NOT YOU, to be responsible. YOU don't take blame for HIS mistakes, period.

Also, if it is any help, I had warned mine that being careful with the 'women' is important because, sorry to say, some girls will sucker you and make you pay money for that child support without you realizing! Those 'few minutes' can cost a lifetime. Best wishes!

Answer 4

Well done and way to have open lines of communication with your child... Make sure he knows how to use them I suggest the cliche cucumber or banana demonstration so he knows about reservoir tips and such and how exactly one goes about rolling the condom into place...

I have 3 children ages 19, 18 and 10.. I have had condoms at the ready since the oldest reached age 14... I have always told my kids, I would rather you wait until you are older to have sex but if you can't come talk to me first so you can stay safe... It's only been in the last year that either of my older children have had sex.. The 10 year old is not interested she still fears cutties..

Addition Trinity like the " No Glove, No Love" saying... I always used "If you can't use the upper head, cover the lower head." with my kids..

Answer 5

I'd have a long conversation first, then i'd tell him if he feels he is old enough to have sex-he should be old enough to go to the store and buy them himself. (this assuming I already had the "talk" and have promoted safe sex!! but either way I shouldnt, as the mom have to buy it whenever he gets an itch he cant scratch) It's great that some parents give this out- but why can't they also hold the responsibility of buying them ?

If my son thinks he's old enough to accept the consequences of sex, he SHOULD be mature enough to buy his OWN.
know what I mean tho? That sex comes with responsibility and that's what I'd want to promote too. Both safe sex and maturity to make the choices responsibily and to follow through on their own..An adult decision should lead to adult actions. Or else I feel we only promote the fact that they can get what they want whenever they want it with no efforts or work or even care. Walking to store I feel, is not tough for what could eventually happen in the long run if a condom breaks or a sperm slips threw.

-I'd tell them to get it from school or use their own money to buy condoms-b.c if my son cant afford a condom then he cant afford a kid either.
My son WILL be educated on HOW to obtain the things to be safe-so wold a girl... but I hould not hav eto spend my money on it, that's for sure. (I'd make the exception for birth control-as it's more medical and many reasons girls have to take that)
I'm not trying to be mean or rude, just giving a different perspective-hopefully.




If you feel you did the right thing, that's okay-Nothing can change your mind and I don't want too- just aswering your question.

gl

Answer 6

You're right. It's hard raising son(s) alone. Got two myself.

I told my own son I would [buy him condoms]. Then, he didn't need them after all, he said.

I agree with the consensus. I'd rather him be safe than sorry.
I also know my son is a one-woman-man. I think that's why he decided to wait.

I'm no perfect angel, either. I once felt close to the gates of hell once. Thank God, He rescued me! So, nothing surprises me anymore. (Well, almost!) smile smile.

God bless you for being there for him.

Answer 7

I would ask him nicely to get a grip. I would tell him that he doesn't need them because he's not married to a lady yet.
After he gets married to a lady then his can purchase his own condoms. Sex is for Married Hetero Couples only. Period.
Anything else is just going to cause pain and suffering down the road. I know this because of personal experience.
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Since you are his mother, I'm trusting that you made the right decision for your son. I will not judge you.
My answer applies to me and mine.
I Cr 13;8a

Answer 8

Why are you broadcasting this very intimate detail of your son's affairs? Would you appreciate such an invasion into your own? Take responsibility for your decision. Social approval or condemnation should never be a deciding factor in what is best for your child. Love and protection should be all that matters.

Answer 9

I'd have already have taught him how to apply a condom to a banana and supplied him with some of his own. I'd also have given him my human sexuality text book from a couple semesters ago. I'd also tell him to make sure his girl is using a form of birth control as well. Sex education is very important.

Answer 10

Ok, as a fundamental Christian, I can only imagine what you and other readers expect me to say...........but the bottom line is the world is NOT what it should be, neither am I or my children.

Actually, I have daughters, I know how I dealt with them, and I can see myself saying, "son, do you want me get them or would you rather take this $10.00 and do your own shopping".

The parental advice and lecture belongs to another time.