I am single gay man. I work in the adult entertainment industry. I enjoy going out, but figure I can just hire a baby sitter occasionally. Plus my ex boyfriend Tom would help. He may be a recovering alcoholic but he is a great guy. I love children and would so love dressing my little boy up all cute. Can you say Prada? Many people tell me that my lifestyle is not suitable for a young child from Malawi, however I would provide a loving home. Should I adopt?
2007-10-23 17:02:47 · 15 answers · asked by Derrick G 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
As long as you name him David Hasselhauf.
2007-10-24 11:31:49 · answer #1 · answered by Krissy-Girl : ) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is great that you want to adopt. There are many children out there that would love to have a place called home. You really need to do the research on this though. This is a 24/7 days a week commitment and a child will need all of your attention and love to become settled. Why in Malawi? There are more children on a list for adoption than people care to realize in their own backyard. My advice to you is to call a social worker or an agency and get all the info you can. Single people adopt all the time so there is no reason why you can't. Go through the motions and have meetings with workers and with kids. That is when you will know. One child will grab your heart and you are hooked! As far as your ex goes, don't count him in the equation. This is a decision that you are making and a responsibility that you are committing to. He can come and go but it will always be you as the parent. Please don't take this adoption issue lightly. A childs love can be the greatest love ever. I wish you all the best.
2007-10-24 00:15:18 · answer #2 · answered by Corry L 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to some single parents, some GOOD single parents who are raising decent kids, and you'll get an idea of how hard it is to be a single parent, your recovering alcoholic friend notwithstanding. Parenthood is really a two-person job, if only for the sake of redundancy. What happens to the kid if you die prematurely? Who will take care of him then?
Who's going to take care of this kid when you're at work, much less when you're going out on the town? Good child care is expensive. What are you going to do when the child is sick? Child care centers don't want you bringing in your sick kid because they don't want the rest of the kids to get sick too.
Also, you have to think about the future. The adult entertainment industry has to be a young man's game, am I right? What are you going to do for money when you get older? You have to think about that because this kid is going to get more expensive when he goes to high school and possibly college.
Oh, and kids have minds of their own. What are you going to do if your son decides he doesn't want to be dressed up "all cute" in Prada?
2007-10-24 00:37:54 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if you want a son, you should have a son. But be prepared for a lot of responsibility. I have 3 boys, they are very active, and very much work. But not all boys are that way. Going out every once in a while is okay when you have a child, but you must cut down. Just think about your options a little longer. Are you willing to give up many different aspects of your lifestyle as well as career. Have you seen the movie "Raising Helen" staring Kate Hudson? It's when her sister dies and she takes on full responsibility of her nephew and nieces. You should watch that movie. Having kids isn't just about dressing them up.
2007-10-24 00:39:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have already ask this question before. Didn't you get the answer you were looking for. The life style you are living would not be good for a child not to mention the fact you would leave the child in the care of a alcoholic. Think about it you love going out, your involved in porn, have an alcoholic boyfriend, do you think this really sounds like a kid friendly home?The answer is NO!
2007-10-24 00:16:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all I would like to say I am all for homosexuals to have the right to adopt children.
I don't necessarily think children need two parents to be raised properly- one good parent can be better than two bad parents. i have lots of friends that have been raised by only one parent and they have turned out fine.
The question is if you are ready to be a parent. Is the adult entertainment industry suitable for a child to be potentially exposed to? Are the people you associate with good role models for your child? Will there be a suitable female role model in your child's life?
Some things you may need to think about.
Best of luck!
2007-10-24 00:20:57 · answer #6 · answered by emmybob3 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you think you would pass an inspection of the state? They just don't hand over children. It doesn't sound like a good inviroment for a child to be in. Maybe you should consider a lifestyle change before you want to adopt. Life style in the sense of the adult entertainment industry. A child is not a play thing it's a responsiblity.
2007-10-24 00:07:47 · answer #7 · answered by Silverbyheart 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
If you are wanting this child to be your responsibility, then yes, I think you should have a chance to be a father. Your sexuality does not matter, only your love for the child and your capabilities to put him or her first. Honestly, you will probably have better luck adopting on your own then you would with a partner. It's sad, but it is our society.
However, if you want to raise a child with your boyfriend, you should wait until he has established his sobriety AND dealt with a challenging situation, so that you can be sure he will not revert back to alcoholism.
2007-10-24 01:07:55 · answer #8 · answered by mum_to_simon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haha...I say go for it! It just depends on the state you live in. Some states have a hard enough time allowing same sex couples who have been together for years and years to adopt, let along a single gay man in the adult entertainment industry. I'm not knocking what you do, I'm just saying it's not going to be easy.
2007-10-24 00:06:34 · answer #9 · answered by still waiting 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i don't know how hard it would be for a single gay man to get a baby, but if you really want a child, and you can afford it. LIFE WILL CHANGE. there isn't much going out and you really don't want to leave a child of any age with anyone who may relapse and not be able to care for him/her porperly. you really need to think about it. i have three of my own and i've already lost one, i'm only 23. it is the most wonderful thing in the world to be able to raise a child...but to lose one....all i can say is you just really need to think it through.
2007-10-24 00:15:32 · answer #10 · answered by Amber 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if your willing to change your lifestyle and be an adult instead of a child yourself.If you adopt it should be because your ready and because you love and can take care of him .why would your ex need to? hes not your boyfriend anymore and what if he would get with someone else and your child would be without him? its not fair maybe your lifestyle shoudl reflect the kind of father you want to be and odds are you wont be allowed once the agency finds out your job. good luck though
2007-10-24 00:08:15 · answer #11 · answered by hispregnantwife! 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋