Her father refuses to believe that she feels this way. Her father blames me for making her feel this way. She is starting to rebel against him by threatening to run away. She is starting to become quite anxious and teary when I try to discuss her problems. She finds it difficult to share her father with his new woman. She becomes quite upset when they are bad mouthing me. There is an order in place but I can't afford to take him to court for this. What should I do? Can I stand by my daughter and keep her at home whenever she feels she needs to (this is not all the time) usually after long stays with him after school holidays or when she has had a bad time there.
2007-10-23 16:06:03 · 8 answers · asked by Tara F 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Her father refuses to believe that she feels this way. Her father blames me for making her feel this way. She is starting to rebel against him by threatening to run away. She is starting to become quite anxious and teary when I try to discuss her problems. She finds it difficult to share her father with his new woman. She becomes quite upset when they are bad mouthing me. There is an order in place but I can't afford to take him to court for this. What should I do? Can I stand by my daughter and keep her at home whenever she feels she needs to (this is not all the time) usually after long stays with him after school holidays or when she has had a bad time there.
I am having a clinical psychologist see her. Can I follow the doctors suggestions to keep her at home and will the court get cranky with me?
2007-10-23 16:17:38 · update #1
If a child psychologist found visiting his home would be detrimental to the child, you would have to petition the court to change the visitation order. The quickest way to do this would be to call the Child Protective Services. Have an affidavit from the psychologist to show them (make sure you keep a copy) and they will investigate and petition the court on her behalf.
2007-10-23 17:09:05 · answer #1 · answered by missbeans 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
THere are several reasons that your daughter could be feeling this way. Are you sure you're not accidently dropping negative hints about your daughter's father? My parents did this stuff all the time when I was growing up and didn't even realize it. My mom was also very upset about the relationship I had with my dad and discouraged it.
Are there other children in her father's home. Does she have a problem with them? Does she have a problem with the new woman or just trouble sharing her dad?
If she becomes upset when they bad mouth you that's probably whey she doesn't want to go there. It's not good for the children to hear that sort of talk. It is really damaging for kids. (My parents have been divorced since I was 5). Talk to her guidance counselor at school if you can't afford any other options. She may be able to speak to your child.
Also if you attend church speak to a clergy man who can offer counseling.
Goodluck
Legally there isn't much you can do if the court order is in place. Some of them do have exceptions for the child's decisions. Although they are usually when the child is in their teens. 8 is young for them to independently make the choices (at least in the eyes of the court). Maybe you can make arrangements with her father that she doesn't have as long stays there. If the court says she needs to spend weekends there can you call her or pick her up for an hour or so in the afternoon. THis might help.
2007-10-23 23:28:39 · answer #2 · answered by Heather 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is probably quite angry with him for the break up of her family as she knows it.
I am not saying that HE is responsible for the break up. I don't know, I wasn't there, but I think that your daughter is blaming her father.
She is expressing her anger the only way she feels she can right now by witholding her affection for him.
Her father blaming you for her feelings doesn't help either.
I think you all need to get into some family councelling ASAP.
You may be a broken family, but like it or not you are still a family with your daughter being the common denominator here. The main thrust of the councelling should be to find a way that everybody can live with the circumstances the way they are now.
2007-10-23 23:37:52 · answer #3 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he has court ordered visitation rights you can't stop him from taking her, or he could have you arrested for interference of court ordered visitation. can you take her to a child psychologist? if there is a medical or emotional reason she should not be with her father then the courts might be more likely to change the order....
2007-10-23 23:10:15 · answer #4 · answered by BJC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
keep her at home!!!! there may be an absolutely horrific reason why this is happening- and while I'm hoping thats not the truth- I'd keep her home until he takes it to court- you can explain that she refuses, thats shes in counseling and that you are concerned for her safety because of her behavior.
the court will take this serious- i promise you- and most likely appoint "supervised visitation", until it's further investigated.
take care
2007-10-23 23:21:52 · answer #5 · answered by **leigh** 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It may be the fact that their bad mouthing you in front of her. If it were me, I'd go with her to talk to a counselor. I went through the same thing. My son got to the point that he didn't go at all. (When he was old enough)
2007-10-23 23:16:28 · answer #6 · answered by Robin 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you are partly to blame. you allow her to behave this way. if you refuse his visitation he will, more than likely, take you to court for contempt and possibly full custody...
tread lightly here, you will more then likely loose this one.
2007-10-23 23:58:09 · answer #7 · answered by KRIS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to talk to the courts.
2007-10-23 23:08:56 · answer #8 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋