Engaged or not ??? would u do if you found out your mate lied to u more than once ?

Question

I've been engaged to my woman for almost four years now. Not in my mind have I ever considered cheating or let alone talking to another woman... for I know what it feels like . The thing is about six or seven months ago she lied to me about this part time job she got, while she was attending nursing school ( cna ). Okay I had afeeling this cleaning job was for a male... but she insisted it was not ! ( LIE ) I was correct.... I recently found out , I was crushed let alone betrayed ... ???? should i do ??? Come to find out she's been sleeping over night more than once > Now April is trying to insist she did not sleep with HIM JOE ( home wrecker )

Answer 1

Before I go any further, because you're engaged, why do think it's wrong to talk to other women? For example: you have a job and both men and women work there. Are you saying it's wrong to talk to any of the women that work there even when just passing in the hall or at break time. Or you go to the snack machine and a women is standing and waiting for her turn you wouldn't acknowledge that she was there. Small talk, a little chit, chat. There is nothing wrong with talking to women even if you're engaged. Men have men friends and women have women friends.

Don't see why April felt she couldn't be straight with you about her part time cleaning job for a male. Or is it that April has been feeling intimidated by some kind of rules you have set for the both of you? Ordinarily, there shouldn't be a problem with April working for a male.

The sleeping over night thing is an entirely different situation. Even if April lived some distance away, it's still not right to sleep over night with her "employer." April can insist that she hasn't slept with "Joe," the home wrecker, but it doesn't change the fact that it's not the right thing to do. Besides, her reasoning sounds a bit far fetched.

So it comes down to, what's going to happen next. I think you already know the answer. Now that the trust has been broken, it's hard to get that trust back again. Maybe it's time to move on. If you decide to move on, you don't need to walk away hating April. Hate is too hard on the soul. Walking away from a four year relationship is hard enough. As for "Joe," the home wrecker, remember it takes two.

There is someone out there for you to love and trust. You can learn to trust again. It's better to find out now rather than after you marry. Don't be so hard on yourself or April for that matter. I always feel that life is a learning process, no matter how old you are.

Take care of your self. No matter what decision you make it's OK.

Answer 2

at least ur not married to her....so make sure you don't