What's the most effective way for a family to train a dog?

Question

My family recently got a new puppy. We are in the process of training her, and though I feel it's important to all be on the same page and be consistent, it seems like my partner and I are the only one who is sticking to the rules. Is it possible to effectively train the dog on my own even if the other members of the family (teenagers) don't take part in the training and spoil the dog?
I'm hoping to train her to walk properly on a leash and learn some obedience commands like sit, stay, quiet, heel, come, fetch, crate-up and so on. I am trying to be consistent in the training and maintaining the pack leader role, but the kids laugh when she does something wrong and talk to the dog in a way that I feel encourages the bad behaviors.
My partner doesn't seem to agree that it's a big deal when they do this and thinks I am over-reacting when I get upset about it. Does anyone have any insight that could help us out?

Ok I am editing the details here. My wife's kids are 18 and 14. They do not really take part in the discipline of the puppy. That has been mainly myself and my wife. My step-kids were only two years younger when I came into the picture, so there isn't that life-long parent/child relationship. I can ask things of them but they will or won't listen depending on their moods (teenagers). It's not as simple as them listening to my rules.
We discussed getting a puppy and the responsibility of it prior to getting her. That didn't seem to make a difference.
I appreciate the answers already, though they are all pretty different.
I'd like to come to a point where the dog is well trained. The crate training is coming along really well so far. I've done a lot of research on it. My question really, is is it possible for a dog to turn out to be well trained if only one member of the family is training her and the others spoil her and don't help correct behavioral problems?

Answer 1

RUN, don't walk, to your nearest book seller. Pick up a copy of The Art of Raising a Puppy by the Monks of New Skete. This book is excellent for puppies under six months and will take your family through the training process step by step.

After six months, it is time for a more formal approach to obedience training. The best book on the market is The Koehler Method of Dog Training by William R. Koehler...and it's been the best book on dog training for over FIFTY years. With a track record like that; you can't lose.

You could not give your puppy a better start in life, than picking up both books. They will do wonders to help you, your family, and the dog to "get on the same page"...and consistency IS the key to great training. Good luck.

Answer 2

Your question: Is is it possible for a dog to turn out to be well trained if only one member of the family is training her and the others spoil her and don't help correct behavioral problems?

The answer is no. Sorry. The average dog has the mental capability of a three year old child. Think about when YOU were three years old. If there was something that you really, really wanted to do - for your dog, this would be things like eating off the dinner table, chewing up furniture, jumping on beds - and your mother let you do it, but your dad didn't, what would you do? You'd just do it when your dad wasn't around.

It's the same for dogs. Being consistent is the KEY to training a dog. Being inconsistent is the best way to confuse your dog.

I'm really glad to see that you seem to have committed the time and energy to doing research about training your dog, and of course putting in effort for the actual training. However, I'm sorry to tell you that it's not ever going to 100% stick in your dog's mind if your kids aren't willing to pull their weight.

I also want to recommend the forums at http://www.dogforums.com. There are a lot of experienced dog owners there that can help you with any training, behavioural or even health problems that your dog has. Or, they are also happy to just sit around and talk about dogs. There is a section of the forums dedicated to first-time dog owners or questions about puppy training. They've helped me out a lot, and if I were you I would air my question there (as well as any questions you will have in the future course of raising a puppy - and I guarantee you will come across many of them!). This is not an advertisement; I am in no way affiliated with this site beyond being a regular member.

Answer 3

We have a puppy, and in as little 5 months, he has learned to sit & stay, to wait at the door instead of running in/out when its opened, and he stays on the grass in our non-fenced front yard, even when people walk by...even when dogs walk by! AND he's house trained! And he walks on the leash! The key is consistancy...and patience.....by everyone. Even the kids. We have 2 teens too, and if you ALL don't participate, it won't work. Trust me....we had to train a St. Bernard puppy, AND a Australian Shepherd! Make him/her follow the same rules, everyday, all the time. Don't you make your kids follow the same rules in your house???? Same idea.....good luck.
Oh, we also took a puppy training class, to help get ideas. You can also get a puppy training book, there are many good ones out there.

Answer 4

When I was young, I helped my parents decide on a puppy to get. We got a dalmatian, which are usually known for not being very friendly. I went with my dad to puppy kindergarten classes. Mom took what we learned and practiced at home. We were never allowed to play roughly with her. The only person who did not follow up on the training was my brother. He really did not seem to care very much about the dog in general. When she was just a few years old, her vet complimented us on having the most friendly, well-behaved dalmatian she had ever met. You are 100% right when you want to be consistent. Are the othe rmembers of the family often with the dog? If they do not spend a lot of time with the dog, their behaviors(like my brother's) will not affect it very much. If they are constantly playing with the puppy in ways that are not appropriate, you need to show them proper behavior around the puppy. I know it sounds weird, training teens, but it may be necessary, if they want to be around the puppy. You're right, consistency is very important.

Answer 5

It can be very difficult to for a puppy to learn what they are supposed to be doing when they are getting mixed signals. If there is absolutely no way to make the kids stop acting this way and get serious about the training then I would say try to be the one that spends the most time with her. Whenever you are with her, reinforce all of what you are trying to teach her. Whether people understand it or not, dogs like structure and even if the kids let her get away with stuff, she will always respect you more if you are the one that taught her right form wrong.

Answer 6

You definately want to all be on the same page. It will take a little longer for the puppy to behave right around anyone else other than you. Try using treats as well but I probably wouldn't allow the other members to train her with them because they will confuse her. You just use them and that should help her realize that it's you she should learn from. It is a "family" pet and so it is crucial that everyone help. My only other advice would be to threaten them with giving her away if they can't help and be responsible. Hopefully it wouldn't come to that. Just be patient and she will catch on. I know what it's like... I have 3 kids.

Answer 7

If you want to housebreak a puppy easily, I have done this with 6-week old pups. Feed your pup and immediately take it outside. wait until nature takes its course and praise it to the skies. The pup will never make a "mistake" again unless left for extremely long periods of time. It sounds like you have enough people to take care of that. As for training to walk, heel and other training programs, be calm and show the pup how you want it to behave. Hold the leash firmly against your leg - without, of course choking your dog. Walk a few steps. Try again. This works with all the training you want to do. Show the pup what you want it to do repeatedly and soon it will catch on.

Answer 8

It's great that you're motivated to train your dog. This will save you a lot of heartache in the future because you'll have the 'tools in your toolbox' to solve problems that might come up.
Positive training is the way to go. There are a number of sites to help:
http://clickertraining.com/
and
http://clickersolutions.com/articles/
Trainers can be found here (you'll have questions)
http://www.ccpdt.org/
And finally - for the best advice, join the Start Puppy Training group here on Yahoo. As you can see, the answers here are extremely uneven.
http://www.ccpdt.org/
Good luck!

Answer 9

If you maintain consistancy as the alpha male you will have her obeying your commands. The other members of you family will not have any control over her, but you will. It would be nice though if you could also be the Alpha Male of the whole house and get the respect you deserve. The same training that works with the dog, works with the kids. Remember, you have the rest of their adult lives to be their friend, and that does not include their formative years.

Answer 10

I suggest you do what needs to be done with the dog. Unfortunately teenagers usually aren't responsible enough. If not take your dog to a training class and show those that want to know whats going on after class.